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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DS is almost 6 months old and has co-slept with us from the start. I love it except for bedtime when he will cry and cry and cry even though I hold/rock/nurse/walk him. I tried wearing him too (which I do most of the day) but for some reason it is too stimulating for him at bedtime.<br><br>
When he cries he does it with his eyes closed so it seems like overtiredness and usually he'll fall asleep within 15 minutes.<br><br>
Do some babies need to cry themselves to sleep? Or am I doing something wrong? His bedtime has slowly gotten earlier and earlier based on his crankiness. Right now we start the routine close to 7 pm.<br><br>
It just feels wrong, though, for him to cry so much and I had envisioned co-sleeping as being something that would show him how nice bedtime could be (because he could be all snuggled up with me).<br><br>
The middle of the night is okay. He wakes up alot but only enough to nurse and then fall back alseep.<br><br>
But bedtime is stressing me out.
 

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My 2nd sometimes just seems to need to cry for a few minutes to go to sleep. Someone posted an article about babies who relieve tension crying compared to babies who gain tension by crying-hopefully they'll repost. Mine is a year old and often will cry a lot longer if I stay with her, too. It depends on the day, I'm constantly struggling to figure out what, exactly, she needs!
 

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I read about that too, and it seemed true for Ds when he was tiny. he needed to be held, and rocked, but he'd cry untilhe calmed down. He just seemed to need to release some tension before he could calm. I was sure I was doing something wrong, but now I know I was doing the only thing I could, and letting him know that even when hecouldn't deal, I'd be there. My friend's baby would cry tobe layed down when she wanted to sleep, and the longer you held her, the more she cried! As soon as she'd lay her down, se'd zonk right out! We're all different, try asking your mom or DP's mom what you two were like as babies, that might shed some light too.
 

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My experience with this is that it is a phase. My son did this too at this age and I also think it is part of teething and sleep changes. He could be getting ready to stay awake longer or need a bedtime change. I found that my son cries when he isn't ready to go to bed but falls asleep much easier with some tweaking of the bedtime schedule or nap time schedule.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>joannejoanne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9896100"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Right now we start the routine close to 7 pm.</div>
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that might be too late for him. My son needed to be asleep by 7 at that age.<br><br>
What time does he wake from his second nap? 4 hours from the time he wakes from his second nap to the time he's asleep for the night seems to be the magic number for some kids.
 

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What happens when you lay him down and give him some space (not leaving him to cry necessarily, but just lessening the physical contact)? The thought crosses my mind because I was just talking to a woman who said that she would do everything to soothe her baby and one day she just put her down in the bassinet and the baby was out like a light and from then on, she realized that her baby needed space to sleep. She says that still today, she'll peek in her 12-year-old daughter's room and she'll be sprawled out like when she was a newborn. Just a thought - good luck to you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for all the replies.<br><br>
As for our nap schedule, we do not have one. He tends to only nap for 20-30 minutes unless I walk him continually. I usually do this at least once a day to get an hour or so for him but it is too tiring to do for all his naps.<br><br>
I could move up his bedtime it's just my DH does not get home until nearly 6 pm most days and if we put him to bed earlier he would hardly get to see him and also we would not be able to eat some dinner together. Once my DS is in bed for the night I have to stay right beside him or he wakes up and cries. He'll cry even if my DH sits next to him. It has to be me.<br><br>
It's very exhausting but I am hoping it is just a phase?
 

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My son is one of those babies who needs space to sleep. He will not sleep anywhere but in his crib by himself. He moves all over the place in his sleep as well. The first year is so rough in regards to sleep. I also had a hard time getting ds to fall asleep up until a few months ago. We used to resort to car rides all the time to try and settle him. It was the only thing that worked. Thank God, one day he just grew out of that phase and now he asks to go night-night with a smile. Hang in there!
 

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He definitely sounds overtired - specifically if he's not napping well.<br>
I recommend "Sleepless in america" (book. I know - like you have time to read, right?) but it's really good and might help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
D McG, I put that on hold at the library just last week! I can't wait until it is available. I actually use the walking nap time to read so it may be the perfect thing.<br><br>
I know he is overtired. He seems overtired all day! I will just have to keep working on it.
 

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You'll definitely figure it out. White noise? swaddling? I'm sure you've tried all that.<br><br>
A swing? (if he needs motion)...
 

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My DD cried before going to sleep no matter what I did. She cried when I nursed her to sleep, and cried when I wore her to sleep... it seemed like she just couldn't figure out how to go to sleep and was really tired and frustrated.<br><br>
That went on for, oh, 6 months I think? Now she's 14 months and she goes to sleep on her own. She nurses in our big bed, we cuddle, I lay her down and say good night and sit with her for half a minute just to see that we're done cuddling, and I walk out. A few minutes later she's asleep.<br><br>
The only interpretation that made sense to me was that she just needed to learn how to go to sleep. It may be that your DC needs the same.
 

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My 7mo usually cries to sleep unless she falls asleep nursing. She's always done this, I swaddle, shush, pat, the whole 9 yards. It seems she just does not want to succumb to sleep. I look forward to the day when she can just get tired and doze off. That has happened maybe 5 times n her life and I think 2 of those were after vaccines.
 

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Do you swaddle?<br><br>
We had to swaddle our DD until 11 months. She's just over 12 months now and I'd say every 3 or 4 days we still have to. She couldn't tolerate any stimulation. So I would swaddle her and then nurse her to sleep. After a while she wanted to be nursed and then have me lie beside her until she drifted off. Rocking or walking or anything like that was too much. But it was weird. If we were out - then she'd go to sleep in the sling no problem.<br><br>
I even made some bigger swaddling blankets - I don't know what we would have done without them.
 

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Our ds who is 10 mo. did this last month. We just happened to have a Dr. appt. for a check up- found out he had an ear infection. Might be worth having your little one checked out. Our Dr. gave us some drops for the pain and they worked quickly and helped him rest.<br>
Good luck!
 
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