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Need help figuring out what I am doing wrong

452 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  rzberrymom, 
bellydance2290
My dd is 20 mths old. She has never been the greatest sleeper but she is great now. She sleeps from 8 pm to 7:30 am, rarely waking up. She's had the same routine for awhile - bath, nurse, DH comes in and reads books, sleep. He can tell her night night, put her in the crib and leave. She'll talk to her babies a little, roll around, get comfortable and go to sleep.

The problem is with me. I have the same problem at nap and night. I stay home with her so am the one doing naps, DH usually does night time since I can't ever get her down. My routine with her at nap is to nurse her to very relaxed state, sometimes read a book but usually she snuggles on my shoulder, I put her in the crib semi asleep. Sometimes, like today, she won't go in her crib. When I go to put her down, she wants up again. If I put her in the crib, she'll start screaming and wake herself up. Today I left her for about 10 mins just to see what would happen (we don't do cio) and she never settled. If I stay in the room, she will do the same thing - cry until I get her out. Once she is out and I am holding her she is happy. If I try the crib again, she freaks. Same thing happens at night time which puts a strain on DH because he can't ever do anything except out her to sleep.

It is really frustrating because I know she can put herself to sleep!! Has anyone had this experience? Is it b/c of the nursing? I just don't know how to stop the cycle and get her to go to sleep for me like she does for DH. I am not ready to wean her yet, but do plan to start the process in a few months. She is only nursing 2x a day at nap and bedtime.
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LadyCatherine185
My DS goes to sleep for DH by sitting on the bed while DH holds him and he drifts off to sleep. If I try it, he pushes away from me and screams and demands milk. I think they just associate different ways of going to sleep for different people. FWIW, neither one of us have been able to put him down awake and expect him to go to sleep on his own. He has to be DEAD asleep when we put him down, or when I roll away out of the bed after nursing, or he will wake up screaming.
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D
I used to have this phenomenon with both my kids. My dh is generally a very calm, low key guy. I don't know if it was this or just that they associated me with nursing. To this day, bedtime is quicker for dh. Sorry that doesn't help!
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Punchy Kaby
Similar thing happens here. I can put DD to bed fine (without nursing) but DH cannot, same for naps, and also for night wakings. Although lately he has been using exactly my method for putting her down for a nap, and for a few night wakings and is having some success. DD had to develop the same sense of trust that she has with me.

Your DH is part of her bedtime 'routine', you will establish your own routine with her, it will take time. How did your DH comfort her when she was smaller to get her to sleep? If you don't want to always nurse her to sleep, decide how you will comfort her and be consistent.

My DD is only 9 months but is very active and aware. About 50% of the time she will not be nursed to sleep (still remains awake and active)so I had to find other ways to comfort her. We have a routine and I stick to it for all naps (so does Dh now) and for night wakings. The only time she nurses close to sleep is after our bath at bedtime and she is often awake after she nurses.
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R
Quote:

Originally Posted by bellydance2290 View Post
My routine with her at nap is to nurse her to very relaxed state, sometimes read a book but usually she snuggles on my shoulder, I put her in the crib semi asleep. Sometimes, like today, she won't go in her crib. When I go to put her down, she wants up again. If I put her in the crib, she'll start screaming and wake herself up.
What if you nurse her and then lie next to her in your bed as she drifts off to sleep? My DD will happily lie down drowsy, but only if I'm lying next to her. And then I can sneak off once she drifts off to sleep.
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