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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello Everyone,
I am sorry but I don't know who to turn to. I am a husband and soon to be father. My wife is 17 weeks pregnant and has displayed a lot of anger lately. If I am annoyed by something I would make an expression but it's not like I won't help or do whatever she wants, but she would completely yell, say horrible things, put me down scream profanities at me. Just this morning she destroyed christmas decorations, kicked them all over the kitchen and then threw stuff at me. Later on she still yelled and then hit me. I am not all innocent as well but I didn't go to this extreme. I don't know what to do or what to say but I am worried about the baby. Can anyone please help me and let me know what I can (we can do)? I really want my baby girl to be healthy now and in the future. PLEASE HELP!!!!
 

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She is probably stressed and hormonal due to the pregnancy. But this sounds really extreme. You don't deserve this behavior and neither does the baby. I was a witch during my pregnancies, but throwing and kicking stuff, and hitting you? That's abuse.

I am not sure what to tell you since I haven't been in this situation but I would say that this is not normal pregnancy behavior and you should not accept it as such. If you feel really threatened then maybe you should notify authorities.

Blessings to you and good luck.

ETA: I suffered from severe depression while pregnant with my second baby and I had to go on Zoloft. Maybe an antidepressant would help your wife? Just something to consider.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
She is probably stressed and hormonal due to the pregnancy. But this sounds really extreme. You don't deserve this behavior and neither does the baby. I was a witch during my pregnancies, but throwing and kicking stuff, and hitting you? That's abuse.

I am not sure what to tell you since I haven't been in this situation but I would say that this is not normal pregnancy behavior and you should not accept it as such. If you feel really threatened then maybe you should notify authorities.

Blessings to you and good luck.

ETA: I suffered from severe depression while pregnant with my second baby and I had to go on Zoloft. Maybe an antidepressant would help your wife? Just something to consider.
Thank you. She was on antidepressants before along with couple of other things. I appreciate your help thank you.
 

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This sounds closer to borderline personality disorder than something pregnancy related. My dh has it and he can destroy a room pretty quick. It's not gender specific and is characterized by extreme bursts of anger and lots of hate/accusations/blame aimed toward a loved one. You might want to look it up online. If she does have it counseling can help. Antidepressants are unlikely to help though. My husband gave up on any medications after the doctor tried many different types with no luck. I think there's a few we didn't try that might have worked, but he wasn't interested by that point. Either way counseling will be a huge help if you can convince her to go. Many of those with bpd are resistant to any type of therapy. I think it's because so many of them were abused and or have ptsd as well. It doesn't mean they all were abused, it's just common. My husband won't go because he can't stand talking about all the abuse from his childhood. He has severe ptsd as well, so he really shies away from bringing up those memories. Getting stuck in a flashback is horrific for him.

If you need someone to talk to I'm here. I've also suffered from depression most of my life. Being the support person for someone with bpd is not easy, and my depression makes it worse, but we all do what we do out of love.
 

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I agree with FunFunkyFantastic.

Even if it is not BPD it is close. It sounds like your wife has trust and/or relationship issues and that pregnancy has exacerbated it because of all the hormones geared towards becoming a mother and the changes involved with becoming a parent.

I'm not sure if I have BPD or not but I share some symptoms. I have been to therapy and it helped me. Talking to my husband helped too, but in therapy and in relationships one has to want to open up first. That takes time and trust built up over time.

Personally pregnancy made me come to realize how messed up my family of origin is and how I had multiple relationship issues stemming from the abuse I recieved as a child and even now as I have limited contact with my family of origin but they still manage to find ways to be disrespectful to me and to each other and themselves and baisically anyone. My abuse was subtle, especially to me and I didn't even realize I was in an abusive household until I was an adult so your wife may or may not have even ever considered this before. But violent behavior pretty much proves that it was done to her before. It could be that she is just now having these feelings that she doesn't know what to do with and even lashing out at you as she recognizes patterns in your relationship that mirrors experiences she had in her youth that were unpleasant. That is not to say that the relationship you two have is bad per sey, just that she may see similarities and be confused and scared by them even if they are harmless.

I'm just relating what I know through my own experiences. I hope it helps. I would suggest that you try to offer her a safe place to talk (as in no judgement or shame) with you and if she would prefer a professional, try that. I have found talking very helpful.

Also, very important!!!! I have never tried medication but acupuncture is no joke. There are community acupuncture clinics that will treat you very well for $15 a session and can treat anything be it physical, mental or otherwise.
 

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Hello Everyone,
I am sorry but I don't know who to turn to. I am a husband and soon to be father. My wife is 17 weeks pregnant and has displayed a lot of anger lately. If I am annoyed by something I would make an expression but it's not like I won't help or do whatever she wants, but she would completely yell, say horrible things, put me down scream profanities at me. Just this morning she destroyed christmas decorations, kicked them all over the kitchen and then threw stuff at me. Later on she still yelled and then hit me. I am not all innocent as well but I didn't go to this extreme. I don't know what to do or what to say but I am worried about the baby. Can anyone please help me and let me know what I can (we can do)? I really want my baby girl to be healthy now and in the future. PLEASE HELP!!!!
She might be having mood swings. Try to understand her as she is going though another phase.
 
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