NEED HELP - Pregnant and toddler carrying

635 Views 6 Replies 6 Participants Last post by Kim2002, Jun 10, 2004

Kim2002

Discussion Starter · Jun 8, 2004

Our son is nearly 26 months old and he is quite attached to his momma. We still co-sleep and even nap together lately as I'm 36 weeks pregnant and growing quite tired lately.

Problem I'm having difficulty with is his need to be picked up and carried quite frequently throughout the day. I've tried having him walk beside me, hold my hand, have daddy carry him, etc. This all results in a major meltdown with lots of crocodile tears which just breaks my heart.

I would carry him whenever, wherever, but just physically can't do it as much as he would like anymore. Any suggestions on how to convince him that he can walk without the meltdown?

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cdahlgrd

· #2 · Jun 8, 2004

If you need him to walk, give him a goal . . . can you touch that pole? can you reach the mailbox? how many squares can you jump? If you are at home, ask him to wait until you can sit down. Then let him sit on your lap.

That should help, but sometimes he just may need to be upset. You can squat next to him and be empathetic without picking him up (or you can sit down and hold him). It can be hard, but he will get used to it with some time.

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Ponoma

· #3 · Jun 8, 2004

Deja - vu!

We are expecting dc 2 in mid July and dh 25 months wants to be carried
up the stairs. every time. I have been coaching her that Mommy's carrying
the baby and dh "climbs the stairs" and "leads the way". When she wants
to she will quickly clamber up on her own, but....

When she is stalling - doesn't want to go upstairs to take a nap, etc. or more often I really need to use the bathroom (upstairs only ...grr) I will scoop her up and carry her. yes, yes, reinforcing behavior I know.....

We have no gate at the bottom of the stairs and I am simply afraid to leave her on her own as she will then try to follow me in a couple of minutes
and I have visions of her tumbling down the stairs backwards...

I like the idea of short little goals to get a child to keep walking, the touch
the tree, mailbox, count squares, etc. I will have to try that today.

She has really been enjoying horsey-back rides with Daddy, so
at least she knows that Daddy will carry her when Mommy can't.

Still not know what to do when I need to carry baby in the arms
and she will have control issues about being carried up the stairs!

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NorthernLight

· #4 · Jun 8, 2004

cdahlgrd said:
If you need him to walk, give him a goal . . . can you touch that pole? can you reach the mailbox? how many squares can you jump? If you are at home, ask him to wait until you can sit down. Then let him sit on your lap. QUOTE]

I think this is a good tip.

I just had a baby, and had the same problem with my toddler. If I knew there would be lots of walking, I brought an umbrella stroller. If we were not going far, we just walked with lots of breaks.

I ended up having an emergency c-section, so not I cannot lift my son anyway.

I think your child is old enough to understand that you cannot lift him for a while. He won't like it at first, but he'll get over it.

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buttercup

· #5 · Jun 8, 2004

I agree about trying to make a game w/ walking. I used a sling to carry dd on my side and back. She was a smaller toddler, but her weigh really helped even out my weight distribution so it was easier to walk. The sling saved me sicne dd would not sit in a stroller at the time. Now I wear my #2 in a sling and will try to get dd to walk more. Many times I will play games, like jumping or walking on different levels - such as steps, curbs, steep inclines. If she still wants to be held, I put her in a sling on my hip while ds is in a sling on my other hip. The weight is balanced and it is easier for me to walk. Plus, I burn a bunch of calories...lol.

Jenni
Helon 23 mo
Phillip 5 mo

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mom2threenurslings

· #6 · Jun 9, 2004

I agree that having a goal helps. Also, getting him to be your helper or making things into a game may help:

"Oh! Could you help me up/down the stairs? I can't see the stairs past my big belly!"

"But I thought it was YOUR turn to carry ME!" (my 2 year old bursts out laughing when I say this!)

It was for this very reason that I made cards w/pictures of food items on them for use in the grocery store. My oldest wouldn't stay in the cart and insisted on being carried until I made these cards...I gave him cards w/ pictures of food items that we needed to buy, and as we went through the store, he had to keep an eye out for the items. It kept him near me and occupied.

Sometimes mama is just too slippery and my kids slide right off of me when I try to pick them up.

We've also found that our kids have responded well to being on a sling "leash" when we're out or on long walks. I have a Maya Wrap, and put the sling around my todder's waist, pull it tight and hold onto the tail. She then becomes the locomotive of a train ... or a tow truck ... and has to "pull" Mama around.

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Kim2002

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jun 10, 2004

Thanks everyone for your input. It occurred to me that his need to be carried is directly proportionate to how tired he is. It seems to be first thing when he wakes in the morning, when he wakes from his nap, and just before going to bed at night. It's these times that he is least likely to be willing to settle for any "tricks", so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

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