[Cuau]

Hello everyone,

I'm a

mom-to-be with lots of questions. Right now I'm targeting the co-sleeping concept and I feel a little confused. I heard that co-sleeping is literally having your baby sleep with you. But at the same time I've heard of co-sleeping with the baby sleeping in the crib right next to bed, is this still co-sleeping?

Also when is the time to stop or transition from co-sleeping to having the baby (or perhaps not a baby anymore) sleep in its own room?

How about having the baby in the same room but not with the crib right next to your bed?

I'm sorry to put all these questions, I just feel overwhelmed by all the info out there, there is some info that seems to target the somehow prepared mom. Plus no-one in my family practice co-sleeping so I really have no one to ask.

thks for your help

Cuau

 

[mom2owen1]

congratulations on your pregnancy!

cosleeping is defined as sleeping in the same room with your child. that could mean a variety of setups - you in the bed while the baby/child is in a bassinet, crib, other bed, floor, or your bed. If the child is in another space (crib, bed, etc) you can sidecar it to your bed or leave it seperate. Sidecarring is a great option to give everyone a little more room but still be close. if you have the baby in the bed, many parents just sleep with baby. but there are other options as well, such as on top of mattress cosleepers and bed rails.

the perfect time to move a child to another room is really an individual family thing. i think you will feel when the time is right. i wouldn't worry about that for now and just see how it goes. once any member of the family is having difficulties with the sleeping arrangements, evaluate the situation.

cosleeping is something that just happened for us. i had never really thought that i would, or wouldn't for that matter. i did set up a nursery, as a crib was given to me. i had ds in a bassinet right next to my bed for a couple months. when he outgrew that i was faced with (1) me not willing to sleep apart from him and (2) him not willing to sleep in the crib. he slept in my bed until we moved when he was 6 months old. at this point i tried sidecarring the crib, but he would still not sleep there. so, he is still in my bed. i do find it so much easier to parent at night. he is more comfortable as well. now he is sleeping through the night, but the nights of him waking 4-12 times a night lasted a long time. i was able to nurse through many of those wakings. i doubt i could have survived having to get up out of bed that many times every night for 18 months.

i think it is great you are planning to cosleep! maybe make some tenative plans about what you and your SO (if there is one) are comfortable with, but ultimately be open to however it works best for your little one.

congrats again!

 

[Cuau]

Thanks for your answer!

So if co-sleeping is just having the baby sleep in the same room, what difference does it make to have him/her right next to your bed (side-car?) or have it in a bassinet, floor or somewhere not inmediately next to your bed?

 

[mom2owen1]

just preference i guess. since different things work for different families.

i would hate to still have to get up out of my bed if the crib was across the room, but it might be a great compromise if one member of the family didn't want to cosleep, but one did.

 

[Llyra]

Co-sleeping is defined differently depending on who's doing it. I define it was sleeping with your baby close enough to reach out and touch, but that's a really arbitrary definition. My opinion is that whatever sleeping arrangement allows everyone in the family to get the most sleep is the right one, as long as baby's needs are met promptly.

We've done just about every co-sleeping arrangement. Up until 6 weeks old, DD slept in a cradle right next to my bed, so that I could literally just reach over and pick her up. I did this because I was recovering from a c-section and taking drugs that made me drowsy and having her in the bed wasn't safe. Once I was healed, she slept in my bed between me and DH. At around 10 months, we started running out of room. DD would roll and kick and rotate 360 degrees during the night and she was keeping DH and me awake all night. So we sidecarred the crib with one rail removed, which kept us all on the same sleeping surface but gave us all some extra room. It also helped with the transition to crib sleeping, which we decided to make at 15 months because DD was waking every time DH started snoring, which meant nobody got any sleep. We just kept the crib where it was and put the fourth rail on, and then slowly started moving the crib away from the bed until she was on the other side of the room. The DH and I moved out of that room and left it to her, and the transition was made gently.

 

[zksgreen]

IMHO -
Wait until you meet your baby before you make a decision about cosleeping/sidecars/room arrangements/ etc. Each baby is different, and you won't know what you want until you meet him/her. You also don't absolutely know what kind of mother you are going to be yet. All of your research will pay off then. Until then don't sweat it.

 

[laneylue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by zksgreen IMHO - Wait until you meet your baby before you make a decision about cosleeping/sidecars/room arrangements/ etc. Each baby is different, and you won't know what you want until you meet him/her. You also don't absolutely know what kind of mother you are going to be yet. All of your research will pay off then. Until then don't sweat it.

I agree with this as well as all the other PPs.

My personal and arbitrary definition of co-sleeping means sleeping in the same bed with the baby. If I use a co-sleeper, I would not consider it co-sleeping, but that's just me. Other people do consider it co-sleeping and that's ok, too!

You will find what works best for you and your family when the baby arrives. I think many moms have an idea of what they want and then start out that way, only to make adjustments as time goes on.

My best advice is to do what you feel safe and comfortable with and don't worry about rules and definitions.

 

[D_McG]

I am another accidental co-sleeper and just wanted to reiterate what the others said about seeing what works for your baby. We had a bassinette next to the bed and a crib in a different room but bought a king sized bed about a week after he was born.

Basically he will not sleep alone! So that was our decision made.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to these boards!

 

[laohaire]

I kept an open mind, as other posters have recommended, and it worked out well. My mom bought me a side-car "cosleeper" and I used it a few times during the first couple of weeks while baby and I got used to each other and the world.

Then I found that I slept better and happier with her in the bed next to me, since nursing wouldn't require as much waking-up, and I didn't feel as anxious. When she was in the co-sleeper, she would have to cry to wake me to nurse, and that was difficult for me during the first few weeks (and I slept badly as a result, since I was constantly checking on her). With her next to me, she would just sort of bump me and that would be enough to wake me.

So that was my experience, and other mamas have different ones (such as sleeping better when using the side-car arrangement to reduce anxiety about being aware of the baby, etc.).

I think what I'm trying to say is, don't be anxious, don't worry about the "rules," you have time and flexibility to figure it out without any problems.

 

[BamBam'sMom]

We started out with a crib in our room. I had to get up and walk over there to check on ds, and I had to get up and look at him a lot. I mean I HAD to . I would be almost asleep and I would think "Is he okay way over there?" and I would have to force myself out of bed to check on him. It's a long story, but the circumstances surrounding his birth had left me unusually exhausted, to the point where I was sleepwalking, so I think I was too exhausted to have him in our bed. Next time, I will definitely get a co-sleeper.

If you read some safety guidelines, you should be perfectly fine with the baby in your bed. But if you're uncomfortable with it, like I was at first, the closer the baby is to you the better.

 

[ndunn]

I really like that about "waiting until you meet your baby". Its so true.

I agree that co-sleeping is anytime you could reach out and touch your child, but as a pp said, thats an arbitrary defnintion.

We bought a crib, and after we decided to co-sleep and she was born I wondered why the heck we had bothered. It was a gift anyway. But then lately she's been starting this thing of waking up every 20 min or so if she's right next to me. I think part of it is teething but part of it also is that she needed a bit more of her own space. I WISH she would sleep cuddled up to me, I loved it. But I've sidecarred that crib we though we wouldn't use now and took the rail off so that its a continuation of our bed. She then is the same distance but has her own "space" and isn't affected by our matress movement.

Good luck ,and congratulations on your soon-to-be-born babe!

 

[EnviroBecca]

I just want to mention a possibility that IMO is too often overlooked around here: co-sleeping in your child's room instead of your room. That way you don't feel you have lost your "couple space", and when you're ready to stop co-sleeping YOU move to another room and your child has to adjust only to being alone, not to being alone AND in an unfamiliar room.

It's working out wonderfully for us! We got a new bed for the frame in our master bedroom and moved the old bed (boxspring set on the floor, so it's low) into the nursery before EnviroBaby was born. (We also had a bassinet, just in case he wanted his own space, but he didn't.) Both parents slept with him for the first month, then just me. Once he's down for the night, I can go visit my partner in the bedroom and even fall asleep there if I want to, moving into EnviroBaby's room when he wakes.

Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm glad you are exploring co-sleeping options. It's such a sweet feeling to have a little baby cuddled close against you all night.

 

[royaloakmi]

I think the whole point of co-sleeping (at least in infancy) is to have your newborn close enough to you that you can respond to his/her needs easily and quickly.

As pp's have described, that can be accomplished in any number of ways. Don't worry about doing it "right", just find a way that works for your family (and that is safe for the baby, obviously).