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I am in tears, my baby is in tears, and I need to feel like I have a point to work towards right now. He's only 10 days old, and I want to put what I have into this, but right now I understand why people quit...that's for sure.<br><br>
I wrote a long post about this earlier, but it comes down to my little guy wasn't getting enough from nursing at first...losing weight, no dirty diapers for 3 days, wet diapers were not all that wet. He started to have latch issues when my milk came in as well. So we supplemented. He's had a little formula, but mostly expressed milk.<br><br>
Then add the nipple confusion and him screaming for 20 minutes while I tried to latch him on every time.<br><br>
I do have a group of LCs that I am working with and they are great, but they certainly can't force this to work. Right now he is trying to nurse with a nipple shield. It's helping...he latches on really well. But he doesn't seem to be swallowing much. He's a pretty lazy nurser and nothing I do to stimulate him seems to help. He falls asleep and I take him off and wake him up and start again. And then I have to supplement with a finger feeder. And then pump. It takes 90 minutes to feed him and then he's getting hungry again soon after. I feel like I don't have the time to just sit and enjoy him while he's getting more and more alert. I'm pumping away and I can't hold him while I do that, at least I haven't figured out how yet and he prefers stimulation sitting in a bouncy seat to laying on the bed next to mommy...<br><br>
I really want him to be able to take milk straight from me, but right now I am seriously considering how much longer do I give this before I start just pumping and bottlefeeding. I want to have time to enjoy my baby too and not just feed him or prepare to feed him all day long. Not to mention both of us in tears at every feeding. How long is realistic to expect this to start working out for us? How long before I would have to accept that he's not catching on? It will get better right?<br><br>
Sorry, that's more of a vent than anything...but thanks for listening...
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I didn't have supply problems, but boy did we have latch problems. My nipples were hamburger. That said, I bet you're almost out of the woods. At about 2 weeks it was no longer ALWAYS extremely painful. And by 3 weeks we had some relaxing nursing sessions. By 4 weeks I could latch her on without screaming (or curling my toes) ever.<br><br>
Hang in there! You're doing it! It'll get better.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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I'm sorry you're having such problems. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
With ds we didn't have the same issues that you're having but we had our own. What got me through a lot of it was thinking, just one feeding at a time. One issue was that ds would eat for about 10 minutes every hour for the first 2 weeks (and had no latch when we brought him home so I had to pump so I could drizzle it down my breast to intice him) then it stretched out to about every 2 hours for the next two weeks. I just concentrated on making it one more day. That was that much more milk that he was getting. I set a goal at 3 months. I'd been told that it gets much easier then, but I wasn't sure I believed anyone when it was 4 days and no shower and I was just walking around topless because it was easier than always pulling up my shirt. But, it did get better. So my goal was 6 months, then 12. Now ds is 18 months old and still a nursing champ!<br><br>
BTW, ds used to fall asleep some too and I just left him in a diaper and blanket, then I'd uncover him to wake him up. But it was May/June so a little warmer than it is now.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> again Mama. You deserve it. Good luck!
 

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I think I cried everyday for the first 2 weeks!<br><br>
Everyone told me that the first 6 weeks might suck (no pun intended) and in a way, they were right. My nips were sore, she'd fuss at the breast... and the hormones don't help!<br><br>
A friend once told me that I was "allowed" to quit at anytime.. I just had to give 1 week's notice... and by the end of THAT week, it would be a bit better and I could stick it out.<br><br>
By 6 weeks, I felt like a pro and started enjoying our relationship.<br><br>
You need to do what is right for you... and if quitting is that thing? Than do it with no guilt. But try to stick it out!
 

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Oh- dear, please hang on. It was hard getting started with my first two and even when it is easy- I still get the feeling that my whole life is spent on the couch feeding. Keep coming here and getting support. Find other mommas IRL to get support from. Go to LLL meetings. This will pass. As your baby gets bigger, he will get more demanding for feedings, work harder and be more motivated so that you won't feel like you are doing this alone. My first was given a bottle in the hospital and it made nursing so much harder. Why fight for the boob when the bottle is so much easier. We are all there with you. I promise it gets easier, every day. So just decide that for today, you are committed to nursing. One day at a time. Don't think about anything further than that.
 

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I lived through the latch issues and the supplementing with pumped milk and the whole thing you are describing. It sucked! (Hah!)<br><br>
You will get through this and live to nurse another day, or several years, or however long you like. Really. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s i like the idea of thinking you've just got to give 1 weeks notice. i second LLL, too. they've been a great resource for me and i felt like my leader was better informed than the county LC. hang in there!
 

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hang in there!! It does get better!!! Right now you're both still new at this and figuring things out, it takes a little while to do that but before you know it you'll both be in a groove.<br>
It's actually pretty common to be continually nursing at this age. My first nursed constantly and I didn't have any supply or latch issues but I usually only got about 20 min between nursings for the first few weeks.<br>
Take deep breathes and pay attention to his prefeeding signs. Try latching before he's really hungry. and just realize that this won't be forever, it will get better.
 

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i'm so sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. nursing is such a beautiful thing. i have faith in you that you can succeed. i also had problems with latch and yes my dd screamed for 20 each time i tried to latch her on. if she latches on better to something else (like a finger or pacifier) do that first and then when she's calm make a quick switch to the breast. that's the only thing that saved us. and then eventually she will go straight to the breast w/o anything else. and with no crying. also as far as your supply goes, my advice would be drink as much as possible and eat when you're hungry. mother's milk tea works wonders as well. my supply was low not at first but b/c her latch was incorrect, so we had to rebuild and it might take 48 hrs. of constant nursing, but once its over you'll be so much happier. if you have someone that you know who's a veteran nurser, or a pro at it, get together with them or a LLL and see if your latch is good. my dd wasn't taking enough of my nipple in and she was also sucking her bottom lip in with the breast (that'll make your toes curl for sure)!! Anyway good luck and i hope this works out for you and your new baby. the one thing they told me in the hospital was that the first three weeks were the hardest and they were and like a light switch at three weeks everything clicked and now we have a wonderful nursing relationship!!!
 

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I could have written this post a year ago!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama... it WILL get better!<br><br>
Take it easy on yourself and your little one. Get a good pump and make sure if he doesn't nurse more than 10 minutes every two hours you pump. If you need to supplement, try and use the EBM you get when you pump. And don't beat yourself up if you have to use some formula- that is why it exists. When you do supplement- try finger feeding him with a syringe. Or use a supplemental feeder attached to your nipple. Also, there is a special bottle designed for the NICU called a "Haberman" feeder- that lessens nipple confusion and teaches the baby to suck more effectively. All of those are better options than a standard bottle.<br><br>
Give yourself a break. When I was going thru this, my LC told me to take 5 hours to myself each night. I didn't have to pump or try to latch and my DH took care of the baby. It made a huge difference in my ability to cope with the feeding issues. Pick a time to hand the baby off and do it for as long as you can up to 5 hours. Remember, you need to give yourself time and rest to heal from birth.<br><br>
Also, please don't give up. I EP'ed for 6 weeks until my DD was completely on the breast. She was a weak sucker and hardly latched at all until she was 3 weeks old- her EDD. Then it was another 3 weeks of supplementing until we were sure she was getting enough. It was stressful and painful and sad and difficult... I don't have to tell you that. I am sure you are going thru the same thing.<br><br>
But we have reached a year. It IS possible. Keep those LCs around. And go with it. If you feel like you can't try to latch at one feeding- don't sweat it. Just don't give up! And please take care of yourself. If you want to email me, I am at <a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a> . We had pretty much every problem in the book in the first 2 months of nursing, so I can sympathizer and offer support.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I just have to add a Stick it Out vote <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br>
You describe my experience with my first child almost to a tee. For me, I just didn't allow myself to consider another option. Also, A good friend reminded me that the baby and I are both learning a new a quite complex skill. How many of those do we master in a couple of weeks? Luckily, nursing doesn't normally take as long to master as, say, learning the piano, but still, it can be tricky.<br>
When my son was about 4 wks, I was on the phone to my mom and she said "by four weeks things should get easier". Well they weren't easier. In retrospect, I guess they were but at the time I sure didn't feel it. At six weeks, things were still pretty tough. But By two months, we fell into our groove. I went on to nurse him happily for about two years.<br>
Have faith in yourself and realize that your baby is learning too. You two will be a team in no time and you'll be able to give support to newly nursing mama's one day.
 

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Dear Somedaymom,<br><br>
It sounds like you are going through a lot. For most nursing pairs, it will get better, but some babies won't ever learn to nurse efficiently. Do your LCs have any ideas about why your baby isn't latching and nursing well?<br><br>
Is he tongue-tied? Does he have a bubble palate or recessed chin? Is his jaw weak?<br><br>
Sometimes, an occupational therapist can help with sucking issues. Also, a lactation consultant named Chelle Marmet has developed a suck training program that helps some babies. Ask your LCs about it.<br><br>
In the meantime, you might try using a Lact-Aid or a supplemental nurser so that your baby is getting the supplement directly from the breast. It is a challenge, but I've known some women online who use a supplementer with a nipple shield.<br><br>
There is no magic time when it will get better. It is different for all babies. Please keep a close watch on your baby's weight gain while you are sorting this out. The most important thing is to feed the baby.<br><br>
Consider giving yourself two weeks of no bottles at all--just use a supplementer at the breast. You'll be nursing or pumping a lot of the time, but it will give your baby a good chance to catch on to nursing and get over the nipple confusion.<br><br>
Also, what kind of pump are you using? Some women need a hospital grade pump to maintain supply if a baby is not nursing well. I encourage you to rent a pump. You are still in the critical stage for establishing milk supply.<br><br>
You might also find the Yahoo groups pumpmoms and mobi (mothers overcoming breastfeeding issues) very helpful. Both of these groups have a lot of women who have had or are still having nursing difficulties. You'll get lots of excellent advice from them.<br><br>
I truly hope that you are one of the many women who overcomes initial difficulties and goes on to nurse for as long as you and your baby want to. But it is important to know that although it happens for most women, it does not happen for all women.<br><br>
At seven months, my baby nurses some for comfort, but I am still pumping most of the milk he drinks. I purchased a Lactina pump used on ebay (after checking the serial number with Medela to make sure it wasn't stolen) and give him bottles during the day and nurse him at night and during nap time.<br><br>
I stopped using the Lact-Aid (which is my favorite supplementer) because he has a bubble palate and was never able to efficiently drain the nurser bags or my breast. I do think the comfort nursing he does is critical to maintaining my supply.<br><br>
As far as deciding when to quit, for me I always said I'd quit when I reached the point where I knew I would be less upset about formula feeding than I was about nursing and pumping. At seven months, I'm still pumping. I would definitely say ten days is too soon to give up trying to nurse. Most babies probably get it within a month to six weeks if they are going to, but I know women online who've gotten their babies to nurse exclusively after four or six months of trying.<br><br>
Finally, my heart goes out to you. I know the difficult times you're going through right now. I was so depressed and overwhelmed with my son's nursing difficulties early on. Now, I can't remember when it started getting better, but it did. Finally, I developed a routine that I can live with, and I am hoping to keep pumping until my son is a year.<br><br>
Good luck,<br>
Sarah
 

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What great advice given in these posts. I'm new here and inexperienced but I could have written this myself...My son is 10 weeks old and I thought I'd never get to the point where he could latch on, let alone bf in public, without a nipple shield, no supplemental formula, no pumping, etc. But perserverance pays off. One thing that helped me a lot during the pumping stage was getting a pumping band. There are a few available, search hands free pumping or pumping band...I could hold my Ds and play with him while pumping, MUCH Better! I remember us both crying and I really feel for you...good luck and stick with it!<br><br>
Robin
 

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Just sending some more support your way!!! I *swear* it does get much MUCH better and ultimately becomes relatively effortless. DS was a laaaazy nurser, so I have some idea how you feel. By 6/8 weeks or so he was so much more efficient and nursed for about 5 minutes (he was frequent, but fast.)<br><br>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I want to have time to enjoy my baby too and not just feed him or prepare to feed him all day long.</td>
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I know it seems really hard right now, but try to adjust your thinking a bit about nursing - use to time to look at your sweet baby, let it sink in that he's REALLY here and you're actually a mama now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Instead of it being a task to get through, try to remember how fast time goes by...and that some day he'll be 10 and saying "Mooooo-oooom, no kisses in front of my friends!!! You're EMBARASSING me!!!" :LOL The best saying I heard about the first year is that "The days go by slow, but the year goes by fast" and I've found it couldn't be more true. It seems like just yesterday DS was born, now he's 16 months old and I'm more than half-way through my second pg!! I would look down at him while he nursed and try to imprint those memories (still do) - someday, he'll be heading off to college and you'll have these times to look back upon.<br><br>
You CAN do it!!!! I promise it goes get easier and it's so, so worth it!!! Hang in there!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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