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I'm posting this here even though DD is only 11 months, but I plan on BFing her until she weans, and I assume that many of you here have been through something similar. Please don't flame me for what I'm going to write, but I'm going to go insane if things don't change.<br><br>
Up until now, I’ve enjoyed BFing immensely. I was very lucky and it was very easy for us. DD was a colicky baby, and she’s still very high needs and has horrible separation anxiety. She loves to nurse, and I nurse on demand. She isn’t a good solids eater. I nurse her down for every nap and at night. We co-sleep, and she wakes frequently to nurse. Sometimes she’s hungry and sometimes she’s just comfort sucking. I’ve always thought that eventually she will learn how to fall asleep on her own, but now she’s 11 months and I see no end in sight. I’m beginning to get a little resentful because I spend so much of my day (and night) with her on my breast, trying to get her to fall asleep. I don’t mind when it only takes 10 minutes to get her down, but recently, it can take up to an hour...both for naps and at bedtime! I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve read the No Cry Sleep Solution, but it hasn't helped. I want to let DD wean herself, but I feel like I want to put some limits on BF when she turns a year old. I feel incredibly guilty about wanting to put limits on BFing, but I'm begining to go a bit crazy. I’m not sure if you have any suggestions on how to do this.<br><br>
She’s also begun intentionally biting my nipples when she doesn’t want to go to sleep. I tell her, “ouch, that hurts mommy,” and then I put the boob away. It doesn’t seem to help. Yesterday, she even clapped her hands after she bit me. I still enjoy BFing, and I want to continue until DD is ready to wean, but we need some limits. Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks!
 

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A year is much too young to limit her nursing. She still needs it for nutrition.<br><br>
That said- the biting needs to stop. Talk to her about it first. Explain that it hurts mama. Let her know how much you like it when she nurses without biting. Watch her and try to figure out when she's going to bite and unlatch her first (often they do it at the end, when they don't really want to nurse any more.)<br><br>
hang in there!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
My dd has begun biting recently too. She's 14m. Telling her no firmly and ending the nursing session has helped some. I also set her down from my lap and she's gotten quite upset about that but she seems to learn from that more than just telliing her no.<br><br>
On one hand I agree with Alegna that one is pretty young to set limits. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like I need to be able to say no sometimes to my dd and have my own space. It can be very exhausting to nurse constantly and sometimes you need a break. My dd isn't high needs and I'm still trying to figure out how to say no. She throws a fit when she wants to nurse and I don't nurse her. I know that she needs it.<br><br>
But I also feel like sometimes we need a little balance. I won't be able to nurse her as long as I'd like if I can never say no. Don't feel guilty for needing a little boundaries. You've been meeting your dd's needs day and night for almost a year and that is hard. Setting some limits may help you to keep nursing longer. You may be a better mom when you're not so nursed out!<br><br>
Can your husband take over some nighttime duties? Can you nurse and then let him rock her? I know that my dd won't take any comfort from when she wants to nurse. It's nursing from me and that's it. Or how about putting her in the crib to start and then bringing her in your bed after the first waking. Maybe a little bit of space will help you. What about getting an evening out with your dh or with a friend. I really think that just one evening out leaves me refreshed for a while. A few hours out of the house can really do wonders.<br><br>
Good luck and I hope you find the balance you're looking for.<br><br>
Shelley
 

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When my baby bit me (around 11-12 mos old) I put her down and told her "no biting," then she would cry and make a very sad face and so I would pick her up again and continue nursing, but I only had to do this two or three times, and she has never bit me since.<br><br>
As for limits on nursing, she's 18 months now, and only now does she start to understand me in the middle of the night when she wakes up wanting to nurse and I say, "ga-ga went to sleep, we'll have ga-ga in the morning..." and she accepts this limit. (ga-ga is her word for nursing.)
 

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My dd went thru a biting phase around this age. It lasted about a week, then it passed.<br>
I did what others suggested- unlatched, told her no and ouch, ended nursing session (at least for a few minutes).<br><br>
What helped me was remembering that 2 LLL friends had recently experienced the same thing and the biting was a pretty short phase for both of their dd's as well.<br><br>
I felt very frustrated during that time, too. I knew I wasn't going to wean dd, but I really didn't look forward to her nursing either.<br><br>
I sincerely hope that this passes quickly for you as well.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you mama. Hang in there.<br>
IMO this is all 'normal' behaviour, being that normal is a very wide range. My ds is a similiar age to your dd and we are going though the same things. I feel like I never have my boobs put away. He will nurse down for every nap, and at night, and through the night. At 1 year, this is completely normal. When I remember that, I does make me feel better to know others also go through this and its part of raising a child. I know how demanding it is and how damn tired you get. Its a really challenging thing!! I go through stages too, of wanting to limit the nursing, but really, its not best. No matter how we justify it, its not best. But there has to be a compromise in situations like yours, because an unhappy mamma is not good either. Im sorry I cant give you better advice. Stick through it, it doesnt last for ever.<br>
Sita
 

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My DD is a bit older, 15m and I rarely limit her nursing, but on the occation where is it nesisary, either in the circumstances or my own need for a break if I'm feeling totally nursed-out (she nurses like an addict!) I try to re-route her, often including a snack and a drink of water, and some intense play sessions becasue sometimes she only wants my attention, and sometimes she onyl wants a bite to eat, and those needs can be met without breastfeeding- but I only do this if I feel like she's not really needing to nurse, like she just nursed half an hour ago or something. Also, she isn't eating solids so well, so if she asks to nurse 5 minutes before dinner, I tell her no, that we're going to eat. Then I usually get her involved in dinner prep to keep her flowing in that dirrection and not focusing on the nursing. If your sanity requires you to limit nursing, I think thats okay. Breastmilk + insane mom is likely not better than one session of nursing delayed, but a happy involved, refreshed mom. If you find your DD will only respond negatively to your delaying tactics, then I would recommend finding a way to have time to yourself out of the house. If you're not there, she cant ask for more milk. Go get groceries and take your time, or meet a friend for coffee or go for a walk or whatever...<br><br>
As for the biting, be firm, and dont engage in a discussion about it if she's sitting and clapping. I would get up, tell her its not acceptable to bite mama and walk away for a few minutes and then return to give her a cuddle. But she needs to see that its not okay, and that its certainly not funny. I try not to be angry or loud if DD bites me, but rather gentle and firm at the same time....<br><br>
Good luck!!<br><br>
Sarahfina
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for all of the support and advice. I really appreciate it.<br><br>
I think that one of the problems is that she needs to transition to 1 nap a day, instead of 2 naps. Maybe that is why I was spending 2-3 hours a day trying to get her to fall asleep. Hopefully that will help.<br><br>
With all of your advice, hopefully I will be able to stop her from biting me.
 

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You might also want to take a look at "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler." It deals with the kind of issues you mentioned, and it really helped me get through a rough patch a few months ago.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I wouldn't think of it as "setting limits on her nursing" but rather as "teaching nursing manners"- which she is definitely old enough for!<br><br>
She's too young to have you intentionally cut back on the number of nursing sessions, but she's certianly old enough to wait 5 minutes for you to pee first, and she's certainly old enough to learn not to bite you- or do anything else that you find annoying or painful.<br><br>
Nursing is a relationship between two people- and both of your needs matter! If setting a few limits means that you'll be more "there" for her the rest of the time, she'll benefit from that. And it's not like you're talking about night-weaning her at 11mo- you're talking about getting her to stop biting you intentionally!!
 

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I had a lot of trouble producing enough milk for my babies and I learned that sometimes they were just plain hungry. I thought they were comfort nursing but really, they were trying to get the last drops out. I know there are lots of things you can do to increase your milk supply -- did em all! -- but I eventually had to supplement.
 

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I think everyone I know has a child who went through a biting phase, but see, they all went THROUGH it! So you will too. DS is 20 mo and I'm still tweaking our nursing limits, like no twiddling (arghhhh!!!!!) or pinching. For us re: the biting, I just clenched my teeth and totally ignored the biting and he only did it 2 or 3 times. I read somewhere that sometimes, if they get a reaction, they'll keep doing it to test out that whole cause-and-effect thing. It's tough!!! Maybe she's also teething--that will make my child very clingy and nurse tons, esp. at night.<br><br>
Also, I so hear you on the constant nursing. I have a high needs child too. We've gone thru what I'd think of as "normal" nursing periods and times when he just wanted to be attached all the time. Like right now, for instance! But it always settles down eventually, usually right before I decide "this is it!"<br><br>
We're still working on the night weaning using Dr. Jay Gordon's method (you can google it). DS doesn't seem ready yet but oh, are dh and I ready toget more than 2 hrs of sleep!!!!<br><br>
Anyway, it sounds like you're doing a great job for your little girl. Hang in there!
 

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Boy, can I relate to this one! My ds is only 5 months, but her nurses on demand and sometimes it takes me 45 to an hour just to put him down in bed for a nap or nighttime. (We co-sleep). It seems like I am spending the majority of my time in bed (without my husband--lol). I enjoy every minute with my ds, but boy, sometimes it gets so tiring.<br><br>
He is already starting to bite and then looks up at me with this big, cute smile and I can't help but laugh (he has no teeth in yet so it doesn't hurt that much but it will!) I know its not good to smile or laugh because that will reinforce the behavior.<br><br>
I can't imagine going through this for a year, but whatever sacrifice I have to make, I'll make it. However, I'm tired of my house being a mess. I work full time and a few days a week, dh takes care of ds. Lately my son has been giving dad a hard time, crying a lot, not taking the bottle of breastmilk. I just hope while working at the same time, I can keep up the breastfeeding for as long as possible. Right now I can work at home 2 days a week, so I'm actually with him for four days, bring him into work one day, and then two days with dh. In a few months that won't be possible because he'll be crawling.<br><br>
Minaret
 
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