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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just got off the phone with my mom, who after a week of staying with us, suggested I put ds1 (4yo) on a stool in the middle of the kitchen when he pushes or hurts ds2 (2yo). He needs a logical consequence, she said, and she commented that he's really running the show here. Which is not true at all. He's a great kid who pushes his little brother sometimes when he wants attention or when he's mad. I'm trying to teach him to use words instead of pushes to express himself, and do not like to use time-outs because they do not work. Every so often, I get so frustrated with him hurting his little brother that I will send him to his room, but I know it's not helping to rectify the situation. It's just those times that I do not know what else to do with him and am so angry, that I just need to put him in his room for a few minutes so I can cool off. DH, on the other hand, uses time-outs all the time with ds1. So, since my mom observed that what we are doing is not working to curb the pushing, she suggested he be placed on a stool in the kitchen and we ignore him for x minutes everytime he pushes and she's sure he'll stop doing it. It didn't seem to phase her that I explained that time-outs do not work, have never worked with ds1, that DH put ds in time-out in his room every time he pushed and yet ds is still pushing. To her the stool in the kitchen is completely different. Sigh.

But she does point out a problem that I've been trying to solve and just do not know what to do. I'm so tired of ds1 hurting ds2. I do see him use words occasionally to express himself, so that message is starting to get through. But in the meantime I need to keep ds2 from getting hurt, from bearing the brunt of ds1's anger or need for attention.

I am trying to give ds1 more positive attention at other times, but I need some suggestions of tactics I could try to get ds to stop hurting his younger brother. Anyone?
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