Hugs and love to you for taking care of these two precious children. I have an eight year old daughter who I'm very close to and we talk alot. I can always tell when something is wrong with her and sometimes, frankly, she just needs to cry without talking and I just REALLY patiently hold her and let her cry for as long as she needs to. She's been through a lot in her young life, too. The other thing that's really helped support her is chiropractic adjustments. As a matter of fact, after her first adjustment about two years ago, she cried in the car for thirty minutes straight. Your support doesn't have to be verbal. Just let her know that you are there for her, like you do for your other kids, by loving her, telling her you love her and providing consistency and sanity for her. Best of luck.