Need Help with 8 yr old neice

656 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by Ann-Marita, Apr 3, 2006

1growingsprout

Discussion Starter · Apr 3, 2006

I have been posting my concerns here for the past few days. Its now official and we have custody of my 8 yr old niece and her 10 yr old brother. I am driving back with 8yr old and I am seriously doubting my skills as a mother, confidient, person etc...

I knew their life was traumatic and her brother seems to be coping well with my DH and other kids however today in the car we went about 150 miles of 500 total and she flips rapidly between depression and anger. its almost like flipping a light switch, one second shes crying and obviously upset the next shes very angry. I had to stop several times so she could get out and just scream and be angry.

HOW DO I BEST HELP HER?? and what happens when i get home and there are 5 kids who need me?

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ktmama

· #2 · Apr 3, 2006

Hugs and love to you for taking care of these two precious children. I have an eight year old daughter who I'm very close to and we talk alot. I can always tell when something is wrong with her and sometimes, frankly, she just needs to cry without talking and I just REALLY patiently hold her and let her cry for as long as she needs to. She's been through a lot in her young life, too. The other thing that's really helped support her is chiropractic adjustments. As a matter of fact, after her first adjustment about two years ago, she cried in the car for thirty minutes straight. Your support doesn't have to be verbal. Just let her know that you are there for her, like you do for your other kids, by loving her, telling her you love her and providing consistency and sanity for her. Best of luck.

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Ann-Marita

· #3 · Apr 3, 2006

1growingsprout,

Find a good, AP-friendly family counselor. (AP is attachment parenting.)

My family took in two children from our extended family when I was a teen. It was so tough. I wish that my parents had the foresight to get counseling for the most troubled of us, and maybe for all of us.

I have been thinking about you today. Keep posting here - there is much strength and wisdom in the women here, and I have found it a wonderful resource to draw upon when my own strength and wisdom don't seem adequate for the job at hand.

I'm sure others will be along soon, and may have more to offer than me. Hang in there.

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