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<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">I am still nursing my DD who will turn two this month. She has been nursed to sleep since she was born and basically has never had a bottle or pacifier. She has recently started to nap without nursing for her Dad or Grandma – but will not sleep without nursing for me. We had a co-sleeper when she was little, and then a family bed, then transitioned to a twin bed on the floor beside our queen bed when she was around 15 months. This worked great for a long time, she'd sleep on her bed and climb into ours 2-3 times a night for milk, and roll back into hers to sleep. Unfortunately the situation has stopped working the past month or so and I am getting desperate for sleep.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">Bedtime is now a huge struggle, she will do anything and everything not to go to sleep. She'll fall asleep (nursing) on me, but wakes when I transfer her to bed and will cry for an hour if we try to make her stay in bed or if her Dad holds her. She'll get up and play, or go back to nursing with me, but nothing else will do. We have never had a crib, so if we leave her to cry in her bed she'll kick and cry for a while, then eventually come into the room we are in and start to play a peek-a-boo type game. She is very verbal, so she comes up with all sorts of excuses not to lay down (super cute...but frustrating!!).</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">During the night she insists on staying latched on, and while she is nursing she suddenly wants to touch, pinch, and switch sides constantly. She “flutter sucks” my nipple so she wont get milk and tries to stay latched on all night. My nipples are red and sore for the first time in our nursing relationship. When I disengage her she'll wake and cry and kick and scream. Nothing but nursing will get her to calm down, and when I give up and let her nurse again I feel so much anger and resentment I just want to put her in another room and close the door and leave her there. Since we are all in the same room I feel a lot of pressure to keep her quiet and sleeping at night so her Dad gets enough rest to work. (He works full time, I work part time, so I can make due on less sleep)</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">We tried setting up her own room with her own big girl bed and making a special deal of it. It works during the day and for naps. She loves the idea of “her room” and loves to play in there and show it to people who come over. But at night she reverts back to the neediness and will not stay in her room. I tried for a few days to go back and forth to her when she cries at night – but I couldn't get her to nurse back to sleep in her own bed, so I eventually gave up to get some sleep.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">I am out of ideas. Is this just another phase? Do I just have to suck it up and suffer for a few weeks with absolutely no sleep? Will it even work? She's almost two – should I just wean her? I don't really want to, and if she would go back to just wanting to nurse for the nourishment 2 or 3 times a night I wouldn't mind. Has anyone tried to substitute a bottle at this age? She's never had one and I know all the risks of tooth decay...and eventually I'd have to wean her from the bottle. But I need some boundaries and I need her to learn that I have a body and needs too and she can't just have everything she wants all the time. (we talk about these things and during the day she seems to understand, but at night if I say no she get completely frantic)</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">In the light of the day things don't seem so bad, but at 3am when my nipples are sore after hours of her nursing and wrestling around I feel like I am going to scream. Sometimes I feel like I want to leave her and her Dad to figure it out while I spend a week at a hotel!!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom:0in;">Please help me with some tips to make it through this without causing too much trauma for my DD!!</p>
 

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<p>I was in a rush so didn't make it though your whole post but you dd sounds just like my 2 1/2yo dd. Have you tried nursing her to sleep on  on her matteress and then moving yourself instead of moving her? My nurslings always are light sleepers and there is no way I can move them. I hope you figure something out that works for your family. It is rough to get no sleep!</p>
 

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<p>omg... this is almost my story exactly!</p>
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<p>One thing someone suggested to me that I havent gotten to do is to leave her for 2 nights with someone else and you leave the house for a couple days... This of course means the end of your nursing relationship altogether.  I have struggled with this which is one of the reasons I havent done it yet (my daughter is only 2 months older than yours).</p>
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<p>We did have some success on a trip away from her dad, I didn't feel so much pressure to keep her quiet so started telling her " you are going to get a little bit of milk and then when I count to 3 you need to say night night to your milk and go to sleep"....</p>
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<p>There was some screaming of course for the first 2 nights but total compliance after that. It even worked for the middle of the night and early am nursing sessions (which often result in all night nurse -a -thon's). As soon as we came back she went back to her old thing...</p>
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<p>Her dad has been on a couple of trips lately where he is gone for a few nights and whenever he is not around she is really good about saying "night night " to her milk after I count to 3 (which usually I give her a warning first "I'm going to count to 3 now".....</p>
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<p>This back and forth with it working or not seems to really be centered around her dad. It seems both our daughters are very perceptive and get that we are trying to keep them quiet so daddy can sleep.</p>
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<p>I don't know what the solution is short of weaning which I am very close to doing as I am becoming resentful and impatient with her especially around nursing lately because of this night time problem.</p>
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<p>Not sure if that was helpful but at least you know you're not the only one out there dealing with this.</p>
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<p>:) Shannon</p>
 

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<p>I have an (almost) 2 year old and a few weeks ago I decided I was tired of her nursing and biting all night. So I started using the Pantley pull off method (without stress or any real expectations) at naptime and bedtime to try to give her gentle experiences with falling asleep without my nipple. And I am extremely surprised to see how well it is working. Now more often than not she will roll over and go to sleep on her own after I remove the nipple a few times. If she fusses, I give it back. If it's an awful night, I do my best and tackle it the next day. I am seeing improvements at bedtime and during the night, without any huge struggles or scream sessions. I am shocked to see this progress... maybe give it a try when you're have a good day. The thing that helped me the most was when she said "this might take two or five (or more) attempts" but just keep trying every 10 seconds or so.</p>
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<p>I only really push it at bedtime when I know she's super tired and won't do something crazy like wake up and stay up. Or in the middle of the night when I can't stand the nurse/biting anymore.</p>
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<p>And finally... I feel like the less emotional (and frantic for a change) I am the more progress I see. Can you sleep with your babe in another room for a week to take a little of the pressure off of you (or send DH in the other room)? Trying not to wake the spouse is a lot of pressure in an already crazy-making situation. Do you have a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution? Read the section on "How to Diminish the Sucking to Sleep Association" and see if it makes you feel better (it did for me).</p>
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<p>Good luck! It will pass, it will pass, it will pass.</p>
 

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<p>"Sometimes I feel like I want to leave her and her Dad to figure it out while I spend a week at a hotel!!"</p>
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<p>oooo I have felt like this! </p>
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<p>our girl is 22 months and has always slept in our bed. She still nurses all night and I have night's that I totally resent it. Which I know something needs to shift. </p>
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<p>A few months ago I hit a wall....she could only fall asleep if I nursed her or she was in the car. </p>
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<p>I started telling her that we'll have milk when she wakes up from her nap and I waited so patiently with her while she fell asleep. We started that a few months ago and it doesn't always happen that she falls asleep without it but It did have a HUGE impact on our night time nursing. She learned how to fall asleep with out nursing so now when she wakes up to nurse at night I can pop her off and she usually turns over and goes back to sleep. Before that she had to stay latched on even without getting any milk and it would take forever to pull away and it was really uncomfortable for me. </p>
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<p>With that said, she has had her share of nights that all of this is out the window. Like last night, she woke up every half an hour or so and said ,'more milk please mama'. And she wasn't nursing just  kinda chewing. If I took her off she would wake up and start freaking out. I've got to tell myself on these nights that something is going on for her, either teething, growth spurt or something and it will pass in a few days. Doesn't make me feel any more energetic with no sleep but it helps me have some compassion for her. </p>
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<p>I have thought of sleeping in another room for the night and seeing what would happen if I let her and papa figure it out. Then I would still be there in the morning to nurse her when she wakes up. </p>
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<p>I'm not wanting to wean her yet, and I know she's not ready, but breastfeeding this long with babes that need/want it all the time takes a lot of you. It's great that you are where you are and have nursed her for as long as you have. <img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>
 
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