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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Right now my 3 and a half yr old is locked in a room screaming. I just got home from singing at a funeral and my neighbor was babysiting. Myles began acting horrible the minute I walked in and through a book at me then screamed and hit me and then ran over and pushed his 71 yr old babysitter!!!! OMG I am sick. what the hell???? Someone give me some support that he isn't a brat!!!!
 

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He's not a brat. He's only little, and this is normal behavior for a kid his age. He missed you and he doesn't know how to express his feelings.<br><br>
Take some breaths and get calmed down. When you can handle it, go in there and give him a hug and calm him down. When you are both calm and mellow, tell him you don't approve of his behavior. Some variation on, "I want you to use words" or "in our house, we don't hit people or push them, we use words." You can also give him information about how his behavior might hurt the babysitter's feelings, and about how people generally deal with that. (He can draw her a picture to say that he's sorry.)<br><br>
If this is way outside his normal level of anger and reactivity, ask the babysitter what she gave him to eat.<br><br>
It will be okay. You can do it without hitting.
 

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Well, if it's not normal behaviour and someone knew is sitting that might be a key. Go open the door with a screwdriver and and try to talk to him. Take him outside for fresh air, whatever to calm him down. And try to refrain from the word brat?! It's so negative, and just saying it out loud to yourself will make you look into the situation in bad light
 

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He's not a brat, he's a normal 3 year old. I know it's hard, I have one myself. Try to be understanding, three year olds have limited coping skills when they are stressed.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<b><span style="font-size:medium;">b r e a t h</span></b><br><br>
You're a good mom and he's a good kid.<br><br>
As long as he's safe in his room, maybe you can peak in to check on him then wait outside his door. Let him know that you're available to him once he's physically calm. If he's really worked up and yelling, pushing, running, etc. I'd avoid any discussion about what he did wrong right now. Just wait for the both of you to feel more relaxed physically.<br><br>
Maybe these would work:<br><br>
"It looks like you're angry... I'm feeling angry too - maybe we can cuddle and talk in a while, when we feel better?"<br><br>
"I'll sit here and wait for you to relax. Do you want to take deep breaths with me to help us relax?"<br><br>
"I don't want to be close to you right now because you were pushing people and that's not safe. Can you show me how you can be gentle and we can spend some time being close?"<br><br>
I don't know... I'm sorry. I've been there though. I'm sure many of us have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks... Both kids a re sweetly eating blueberries right now and all is well. Man- this job is not easy!!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Deir</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7246173"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks... Both kids a re sweetly eating blueberries right now and all is well. Man- this job is not easy!!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">, no it's not. It's very challenging at times <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 
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