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A few things- my whole family had the flu and it was awful. Ever since then (2 weeks ago) it is like my 2.5 yr old has found a new way to live- with tantrums! It is causing stress in the whole family and now it seems that my 4 yr old is so upset by it then he is throwing tantrums as well. Also, I am working on a show and I generally work very little- like a few hours per month. This is a childrens theater show in the mornings so they are only with a babysitter from 9-12! The show only runs for 2 weeks so I know it coming to an end but I feel like they are having such a ridiculous time coping with my absence. Today Frankie threw a raging tantrum in the morning and then Myles threw one when we were leaving my sister's house (she was babysitting) these are complete with hitting, screaming , It is just horrible.<br><br>
A major part of this problem is that my anger reactions are so bad!! I know this and I am working on it but it is so hard when someone is screaming at you hitting you etc, Another part of this is I can't help feelingl like I have done something terribly wrong to raise children who behave like this so I am feeling like a failure as a parent. This compounds everything and makes me feel even more angry at them!<br>
I try to have a nice routine and a peaceful home and I feel like it is failing.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
My dh reminds me that they are mostly great and that I need to live in the present but these tantrums have been several times a day every day lately!!
 

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I think the flu must trigger them LOL My 2.5 year old was sick at Christmas and had about 6 weeks of really wicked tantrums afterwards! She is still having them, but *we* are handlingthem better so they happen less.<br><br>
Reading the 'Cry for Connection' article stickied at the top of this forum helped tremendously.<br><br>
Tantrums are an expression of emotions that are just overwhelming for a toddler. As I keep telling my dh ~ she isn't being a jerk, she is genuininely feeling that out of control and we need to work on staying in control of our emotions, because when we get angry, it only makes her spiral further ~ feel more overwhelmed and upset. I find when I can stay very calm, close by, affirm her feelings and assure her we can work it out when she is ready (read: finished the tantrum) ~ ie "I know you are SO upset and angry right now, that's ok, go ahead and get really mad and get it out! And when you are ready mommy is right here and we can work out xyz, ok?". My dd doesn't like to be touched or crowded when tantruming, so I often move about the room, do other things and just check in with her verbally.<br><br>
Once we started letting her ride it out, we found she calms, comes to us and we move forward. It just means leaving much more time around transitions (to a meal, to leave the house, to leav play group etc.) and lots of warning for her that a hcange is coming.<br><br>
So hang in there, mama, try to see this as healthy motions and keep your cool~ if you learn to expect it and build in a bit of time, you will all be less pressured and more likely to NOT have the tantrums (this is a tough one for us, too, two working parents etc.).<br><br>
L
 
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