[radish]

hi
my DH is really not happy with co-sleeping anymore.

:

i really dont want to get a crib (although MIL keeps reminding us she will pay for it). had the co-sleeper but doesnt seem like it would be worth it now..

any suggestions...

tia!
regina

 

[andreac]

If you have the room you could side-car a crib...just remove the side that drops down and set the crib mattress to the same level as your bed. That way you and DH have a bed to yourselves, but the baby is still right next to you! I haven't done it but I'm sure some of the mamas here could give you better details on how its done.

I have a co-sleeper that has turned into the worlds most expensive laundry basket

since DS sleeps with us all the time. I didn't really like that it wasn't level to our bed, so I still had to get up to get him in and out of it to nurse.

Good luck finding a solution that works for all 3 of you!

 

[mamaduck]

radish -- when my dh wanted the baby to sleep elsewhere, I pointed out that I was happy with cosleeping, and I suggested that *he* come up with a plan for establishing a new sleeping arrangement. I agreed that I would cooperate with his plan as long as it did not involve CIO.

He thought about it for a few weeks, tried putting ds in the crib a few times with disasterous results, ultimately came up with nothing, and eventually bought *himself* a twin bed and put it beside our queen. Haven't heard a word of complaint from him since.

If your okay with cosleeping, I don't see why you should be the one stuck with solving the problem.

 

[mama_kass]

Why dosen't dh like co-sleeping? Do you need more room? Create more sleeping space. Is he jealous of the closeness between you and baby? Give DH a little extra attention. Maybe he feels it's time baby had her own bed so that she can learn to sleep alone? Let him know this is a concept of detachment parenting. I don't know the situation. Just throwing out for instances. You and DH should work together to come up with an arrangement that works for everyone.

I have a friend who's DP sleeps on the couch. He is a person who dosen't want to be touched during sleep. This is what works for them. Whatever works so that everyone gets good sleep is what you should do.

 

[radish]

well, thats kinda what i did...told him to tell me the problem/s, figure out a resolution...

problem is his inability to get a good nite sleep for fear of smooshing baby/baby rollingoff bed...and our lack of sleeping intimacy...not sex, just snuggling/etc...

he slept on living room sofa bad for a few weeks but misses me/us

????? i dont know what to do

:

 

[DaryLLL]

Why would one little old baby in the bed reduce snuggling between partners? Let baby sleep, at least part of the night, between you and the wall or bed rail. (Spoken as a former sharer of sleep with ultimately 3 kids at once, and my dh. Now that did reduce our ability to snuggle each other for a while! We had a double and a twin pushed together.)

 

[mamaduck]

Quote:

Originally posted by radish problem is his inability to get a good nite sleep for fear of smooshing baby/baby rollingoff bed...

As far as rolling off the bed -- there a lot of options for eliminating this concern. Push bed against the wall. Get bedrails. Or put your mattress on the floor.

As far as smooshing the baby -- maybe we had exceptional babies, but at 5 months they were pretty much unsmooshable. All dh had to do was begin to roll toward them, and they'd be kicking and yelling up a storm. Or even rolling out of his way. But the extra bed in our room alleviated any trace of this concern anyhow -- because between a twin and a queen mattress there was/is room for everyone.

As far as his inability to get a good nite sleep --- well, welcome to the club! It usually goes with the job of being parent to a young
baby/child.

 

[radish]

thx for all the feedback!

cant puch bed against wall, mirror on 1 side, lg window on other

we do have a bed rail on my side so baby is fine on edge of bed, but i swap places with her throughout the night

any recommendations for a side car crib?

 

[KarmaChameleon]

hi -- we side-carred our crib with dd for a while until we got her into her own bed around her first b-day (a mattress and boxspring on the floor in her room -- and she would toddle into our room whenever she pleased and was quite happy with the arrangement -- she still toddles in to this day at some point every night!).

Until we thought to do tha,t the crib was a total waste. I would buy a cheap crib (Jenny Lind model is $100 I think) and like someone mentioned, just remove the side that goes up and down. Push it up against the wall and your bed up against it. The goodpart for us was that once she was asleep (I would place her on a blankie and nurse her to sleep in our bed) we'd slide the blankie/baby combo into the crib.

This arrangement worked well for everyone and my dh came to realize that if she wasn't in bed with us -- at least some of the night -- he missed her and couldn't sleep well. Every once in a while he pitches a fit about not sleeping well and sometimes he targets co-sleeping as the cause, but he's just being a big baby and he can later admit that.

 

[DaryLLL]

Here are instructions on how to put the crib next to your bed. Secure the crib to the bed with bungee cords. Fill any gaps with tightly rolled blankets, no soft pillows.

http://pages.ivillage.com/gentlegoodnight/sidecar.html