[MrsMike]

I know there have been umpteen threads on babies who scream in their carseats. I'm not asking for solutions because I've tried just about everything and nothing works. He just screams and screams. My problem is that I worry I'm damaging his little psyche. I'm very much against letting him cry it out but I have no other options in the car. It's the only time I allow him to cry without picking him up. I do talk to him for the whole ride so he knows I'm there. I reach back and touch him when we're at a stop. Please tell me I'm not doing emotional damage and that he'll be okay. We drive everyday and it really breaks my heart to hear him scream so much.

 

[sewaneecook]

I'm the same way. When DH and I are together, I sit in the back seat with DS to help calm him down. DS HATES his car seat, so I try not to run errands unless I have to when we're alone. I don't have any answers for you, but I can definitely sympathize!

 

[~member~]

 

[PortraitPixie]

Noah did the exact same thing. The only thing that I can tell you is that it was fairly short lived...and he loves riding now!

Hang in there....I know how horrible you feel.

 

[cindyjedz]

My twins are now 13 months and they still hate the car, it has gotten better. In the worst time when they were younger I seldom went anywhere. It has slowwwwwly gotten better. I now know nothing is wrong and I don't worry now about damaging them. I believe now it is more of a habit. but when you do need to go with them somewhere what you are currantly doing is I'm sure a comfort.
Cindy

 

[ochoco]

I hear you. My DS, who is now 7.5 months old, cries every time we go in the car. Other than that, I never let him cry either...and despite the car issues, he still seems to be happy and healthy, and clearly trusts us and doesn't seem to have any lasting trauma despite the tears.

I also sit in the back seat when I can, and my new trick now is to nurse him in the carseat. It's tricky - we are both still belted in, but I am aware it's not the safest position. However, having a baby screaming in the back seat is extremely distracting for the driver, so I figure it's probably better all around. Now I find that if I can just have him nurse like that for five minutes or so, he usually plays fairly contentedly or sleeps for the rest of the trip.

I find that if I put him in after a nap and with a full belly, the ride will go a bit better. If I also give him something to play with that is usually verboten - like my (closed) lip balm, or a hairband - that will keep him busy for much longer than one of his usual toys. (Of course, I am sitting right next to him when he's playing with that sort of thing.)

Still, though, if it's just the two of us, I try to keep trips to a minimum. It does suck! Nothing is worse than driving while listening to your baby cry!

Don't you wish everyone just rode bikes, and it would be safe to just tote them behind us without worrying?

 

[sdmoose]

My ds is the same way. Last month we travelled so much that I thought I'd have a breakdown at the thought of that much time in the car....we've come up with ways to help him tolerate the car better when my dh can drive and I can be in the back. But during the week when I'm home alone I totally understand what you are going through. It was better for a bit, now he's back to screaming during 90% of each car trip. He's almost 5 months old and a very smiley, interactive, curious guy. He stops crying immediately when I pull him out of the seat...so that reassures me that I'm not doing lasting damage (at least this is what I tell myself!!) It may be doing lasting damage to me, however!!! My friend got me to laugh about this the other day...she said...OF COURSE he cries when he's there...he's strapped in, misses mom, is staring at the back of a carseat (though I do put a mirror there and a toy which helps some), and may be carsick a little. She said "Frankly, I worry more about the kids that DON'T cry...they are saying...ok...mom abandoned me again, guess I'll shut down and sleep. Therein begins the road to adult depression...curling up in bed all day". She's a bit of a drama gal...but it made me laugh a little and realize that MAYBE, just MAYBE his hatred of the carseat and ability to let me know that is a sign of a healthy personality

Anway, it gets me so bummed and upset some days that I totally want to rearrange my whole life just so we never (rarely) have to ride in the car!!! Move, change jobs, change cities...ha!

 

[elmh23]

My dd is now 20 months old and doesn't seemed scarred. She now loves the car. She screamed non-stop in the car until about 5 or 6 months, then would only scream occasionally. It finally stopped when I turned her around at one year (just to see if it would be better, and it was so we kept her ff, she was 25lbs at that point.) I also talked to her non-stop while she was screaming. I think it helped.

 

[alegna]

 

[muckemom]

No advice, just a mom going through the same thing every day...

 

[wendizbaby]

Been there. As long as your child can hear your voice and you are comforting them, then you are still doing attachment parenting!!

Hang in there!!

Wendi

 

[Carley]

nak... dd screamed tilll 2 months when she could see better. shes very happy & untraumatized by the car

she even likes her carseat now & smiles when we put her in it!

do what makes you feel comfortable

it will get better eventually!!

 

[Enudely]

I worry about the same thing. DD looks at me with this horrible look like "how could you do this to me?" It breaks my heart. I never take her on trips by myself. I also wonder about lasting damage, though she does seem fine as soon as I'm holding her. SO SAD!
It seems so unnatural. When else would we find ourselves in a position where we CAN'T pick up our screaming baby. Damn modern living!!

:

 

[MrsMike]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the replies. I feel better...and not so alone.