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Dh and I choose AP and babywearing and cosleeping because it seems to keep our children happiest and seems the most intuitive to us BUT

he said to me the other day- why do we co-sleep? Long term, what's the benefit?

And I said, uh, I don't have to get up at night to nurse. And it creates a sense of security and closeness.

And dh said, yah, but long term...what's the point?

(I guess he wanted to be able to tell people why we do what we do.)

And it's been so long since I really thought about it, and the way that we parent falls into the AP catergory, but I just don't have any one-liners to respond with anymore.

Help. I need inspiration and motivation and reminders of why we do what we do, and the basic tenents of what we do.
 

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We're meeting our child's night-needs so that in the long run, they will have a firm foundation of trust so they grow independent in a healthy way.


My Wee One goes through fazes of wanting to sleep alone and wanting to sleep with me. I roll with the punches right now, because she can't verbalize what she needs. I know this will pay off in the long run because she will be more in tune with her body and its needs, versus other people's wants. She will also have the trust in dh and I that we will meet her needs, which is already helping her to be more independent--that is, when those teeth aren't coming in!

Here's the only one-liner for your dh that I can think of. "Why wouldn't we co-sleep? I can't think of anyone that it doesn't benefit."

I hope that this is somewhat of a helpful answer and gets ideas sparked for you. If you have any, let me know! I'm sure we'll have to have a concrete answer soon, as my Babywise friend will be visiting this summer.
 

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I say co sleep because in the long term my ds will be more independent because even if when he's older (he's four months) and goes to his own bed knowing that he can come to our bed whenever he wants makes him more confident as a person. As opposed to sleeping by himself and being fearful about coming to our bed at night. Plus for me it helped my ds's breathing problem.

Here's a website I found interesting:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/longterm.html

Hope this helps
 

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Most of my crib-sleeping friends' kids are really afraid of things like movies, etc. They're just more skittish. I know my daughter is a lot more secure in her world because she has had the adult presence that she can depend upon from co-sleeping. That's a huge benefit. Also, on our busiest days with me at meetings and her at daycare, I know I can reconnect with her with a cuddle at any time of the night or early morning. Sharing sleep, I've always thought, is an intimate and trusting time which connects people. I am proud of that connection I've fostered with my almost 6 year old and now my infant.
 
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