Okay, I realize that most people don't mean any harm and are really just being nosy but since we announced our second pregnancy (due Nov. 10) several people have asked 'Was it planned?" or "Were you trying?" My ds is just 9 months and it did take us a little by surprise but seriously I think this is kind of a personal and not to mention rude question to ask. It's kind of like when someone's expecting multiples and people ask if they were using fertility drugs. How does anyone feel like it's their business. Besides, even if we were surprised my husband and I are beyond thrilled so I hate replying with a "No, it was an accident." Anybody else dealing with this? What do you say?
Need snappy comeback for stupid question
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Joined
·
1,011 Posts
Ah, there have been several threads recently in the pregnancy forum about the 'was it planned?' question. The consensus seems to be that it is pretty rude of people to ask, and really none of their business. It's the equivalent of asking someone if they were trying to get pregnant, or just messing around having sex and...oops! Made a baby!
Anyways, I think a good comeback in your situation would be something like:
"I know the spacing is a bit closer than many families prefer, but we are just so delighted that (your child's name) will have a little brother or sister!"
That'll keep them guessing! And of course the most important thing for them to know is that you and your family are excited about a new baby!
Anyways, I think a good comeback in your situation would be something like:
"I know the spacing is a bit closer than many families prefer, but we are just so delighted that (your child's name) will have a little brother or sister!"
That'll keep them guessing! And of course the most important thing for them to know is that you and your family are excited about a new baby!
Joined
·
5,554 Posts
Just smile and turn it around on them..."why does it matter?" Make them feel uncomfortable!
![]()
Joined
·
640 Posts
"the aliens never tell me ahead of time when they're coming to impregnate me."
Joined
·
6,552 Posts
Quote:
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
![]()
Originally Posted by mamatolevi  "the aliens never tell me ahead of time when they're coming to impregnate me." |
I'm honestly not offended by this question. Dd was planned, this one was not. Simple as that. I am a little offended by people asking what type of contraception we were using!
Anyway, if you're offended, how about saying something like "Whatever would make you ask that question?" with a smile on your face.
Anyway, if you're offended, how about saying something like "Whatever would make you ask that question?" with a smile on your face.
Quote:
oh, I like this one!
I'm enjoying this thread...
Originally Posted by Daisie125 I like to go with the old standby: "You realize you said that out loud, right?" depending on the company I also like "We never plan sex, it's more fun it's spontaneous." |
I'm enjoying this thread...
Joined
·
776 Posts
I'm dealing with comments in regards to the Octo-mom and "are you keeping up with the Duggars?".
![]()
Joined
·
507 Posts
A lot of people ask stupid questions, and I agree its really frusterating. I just told the people at work that it was twins, and at least 3 have said "how did that happen?". Ummm the same way it happens for the rest of the population! Maybe I should tell them we had sex twice in one night! I also get a lot of advice thats pretty crazy. I usually just ignore the questions though, I change the subject or walk away.
Quote:
![]()
!
I even get weirded out by that question when my mw asks during the first visit.
"Was this a planned pregnancy"
Me: "(stammer) well, uh, sort of, I guess not, well we were open, we just weren't specifically trying that time, uh, is that weird I just said that? We knew we wanted another, but it just kind of happened. Uh, does that mean it was planned, or not? I don't know. Yes, I guess it was planned......sort of."
![]()
Originally Posted by Daisie125 I like to go with the old standby: "You realize you said that out loud, right?" depending on the company I also like "We never plan sex, it's more fun it's spontaneous." |
I even get weirded out by that question when my mw asks during the first visit.
"Was this a planned pregnancy"
Me: "(stammer) well, uh, sort of, I guess not, well we were open, we just weren't specifically trying that time, uh, is that weird I just said that? We knew we wanted another, but it just kind of happened. Uh, does that mean it was planned, or not? I don't know. Yes, I guess it was planned......sort of."
Joined
·
234 Posts
Quote:
Well that is a very common question, I don't have any problem with those ones..... for me is a problem when after your answer come more questions......many people around me ask me those questions and many of them were happy about us
![]()
:..... only a few did more questions but related to my previous pregnancy
![]()
: (it was high risk and completely bedrest)..... for those one my only answer was:
Think positive and that is our problem not yours!!!!
![]()
Originally Posted by mama2be11 'Was it planned?" or "Were you trying?" Anybody else dealing with this? What do you say? |
Think positive and that is our problem not yours!!!!
Joined
·
2,980 Posts
My grandmother once gave me this piece of advice as the answer to rude questions:
stand there, grimace at them, and say "excuuuuse me????" Like "how dare you ask such a personal question!"
stand there, grimace at them, and say "excuuuuse me????" Like "how dare you ask such a personal question!"
Joined
·
349 Posts
It's so weird, that seems like a normal question until you are actually HAVING children and now I realize how invasive and rude it is. I'm nervous to be telling people because I am in the same boat as the OP. (Dd is 9mos, due with #2 mid-November)
Anyway, the truth is we don't ever "plan" our pregnancies. At least in part because we are lazy and I feel like I don't enjoy the baby stage much and would rather just keep having them until we feel done and move past the baby stage quickly. Plus, how fun to have 2 lo's so close in age when they're a bit older.
The short and sweet answer, however, would be something like:
Stupid Person: Was it planned!!??
Me: Yes. (straight face, no smile, you are dumb expression on my face)
My other favorite from last time around:
Stupid person: How many do you have in there!?
Me: Four. All boys. (I was pregnant with ONE, by the way and again would use a very straight, serious face...it was pretty funny)
Anyway, the truth is we don't ever "plan" our pregnancies. At least in part because we are lazy and I feel like I don't enjoy the baby stage much and would rather just keep having them until we feel done and move past the baby stage quickly. Plus, how fun to have 2 lo's so close in age when they're a bit older.
The short and sweet answer, however, would be something like:
Stupid Person: Was it planned!!??
Me: Yes. (straight face, no smile, you are dumb expression on my face)
My other favorite from last time around:
Stupid person: How many do you have in there!?
Me: Four. All boys. (I was pregnant with ONE, by the way and again would use a very straight, serious face...it was pretty funny)
Quote:
Well, I'm glad to see that some people aren't offended, as I asked SIL this question when she was pg 3 years ago. Then, after coming to MDC and seeing all the threads about this, I was embarressed that I had asked that. It's not that it matters whether it was planned or not... It's not like if it was a surprise, I would think they didn't want the baby. I was just curious, making small talk, I don't know...
Originally Posted by Juliacat I'm honestly not offended by this question. |
Joined
·
1,639 Posts
its almost like they think u DONT want this baby was it planned i respond ya god planned it dumb ass !
or the always good is this your child on no thats right its mine so i dont think thats any of your business
or the always good is this your child on no thats right its mine so i dont think thats any of your business
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
