Wow...I am sorry you're having this issue!!! REALLY! I am no expert, but I teach my doula clients to do Kegals by stopping the flow of urine while on the toilet...this helps you recognize the muscles you need to use. You can practice this for a while and soon you'll be able to squeeze them at will. You can also squeeze while having intimacy. Once you have the muscles identified you practice often...holding tight and slowly releasing....slowly tightening back up...many times a day. You can also hold tight for a count of 10 and work up to a count of 30. I do not know if Kegals helps this kind of thing, but it can't hurt. Again...I am sorry I cannot be more help...and I wish you the best in your search. Sometimes self doctoring works best any way! I have been to a Naturalpath many times and they usually do have great/helpful things...so don't give up!
-Blessings,
Rebecca
-Blessings,
Rebecca