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Need some GD help for 15 mo

413 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  The4OfUs
Since dd is only 15 mo I don't have a whole lot of experience with GD. Dh and I just watched Alfie Kohn's video, and it really made a lot of sense to us, so I was wondering if someone could tell me how you would deal with this situation:

DD ADORES baths. She is always trying to climb in the tub. DH usually give her one every night and she has a blast. BUT, she always tries to grab the handle that adjusts the temperature of the water. We are afraid that she is going to scald herself, so DH explains to her why she can't touch it and redirects her. Then she does it about a thousand other times. She even looks at him, grabs it, and shakes her head, as if she knows that she's not supposed to touch it. I think she's just imitating us, but still.

I suggested that maybe we get some kind of lock on the knob, but I don't even know if they exist.

So in general, there are some things that she just can't play with. There are just times that we have to say no, because of safety, but also because we're maybe doing something else at the moment. For example, we can't take a bath right now, because we have to get to the babysitters.

DH was wondering if you can ever convince a kid to do something without any kind of threat. I think that Kohn would say that if you must control a kid's behavior, like stopping them from running in the street for example, the kid will trust that you have their best interest in mind. Is that right?

Also, at this age, it is hard to do the "working with" approach when she can't really communicate, kwim? We explain to her, when she's sitting on the cat, for example, that it hurts the cat, but she just doesn't understand yet. Plus, it doesn't help that the cat is so docile that she doesn;t make any move to defend herself or run away or act like it hurts her.

Well, this has turned into more of a rant than anything else!

Anyone have any advice?
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BABYPROOF as much as possible, REDIRECT, and DISTRACT. Lather, rinse, repeat...about 2.7 billion times in the next 2 years.

Seriously, though. Try turning her around in the bathtub with some neat stuff to play with facing the other direction fro the tub knobs. Or, get something to put over the handle, there's got to be some kind of cover out there...try Googling "bathtub handle cover" or soemthing like that...

Keep removing her from the cat, and try to prevent it from happening (though I know they're so lightning quick, it can't always be done).

Even though it *seems* like nothing is sinking in, it really is. I promise.

DS used to go over to the cabinets we had bungee-corded shut in the kitchen and say "no touch"....which is like what you were saying she does with the tub knob, so I'd just reinforce what he was saying and then walk him to "his" cabinet in the kitchen and say "This is D's cabinet".....always best to give them something they CAN do to replace what you don't want them doing...

Maybe give her a pillow or stuffed animal to sit on and squash when she gets that glimmer in her eye and is heading for the cat? Dunno, just a thought.

But really, your best tools now are CONSISTENT redirection, substitution, and distraction. It's exhausting, I know. Just go to your Zen place and let the words flow out of you while you redirect or swap. It does get easier, and it will eventually sink in.
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