Lori- as the Mom of a premie, I know how strong your feelings can be. emotions play a big part in being able to continue expressing when the family is also demanding. Its hard to "get over" all the challenges you have. They do not go away and unless someone has been there they have no clue.
One suggestion I found helpful when David was locked up in NICU and we were not nearby was to use the timer as a substitute for the baby who should have been there crying to be fed every few hours. I had two other children and they were in charge of helping me. One made sure I had my glass of water to drink, the other got to be in charge of snacks, story time a sing fest or whatever needed to happen while I was pumping. The answering machine took care of that annoying phone and no one answered the door as I did not do demonstrations for the curious friends. It was a 20 minute -time out from 6 am until bed time at 11pm. It took some planning but that would have happened if baby was home and by the time he was, we had a good
routine going. I did one pumping during the night too.
Stress is keeping you from eating and probably some guilt as well and that is something we do have to live with as our fragile little ones struggle for about 2 years before they are all caught up. meanwhile do the best you can and making milk is your only challenge right now. Everything else comes second and your other children can bloom as they stretch to make room for the new baby. We had a teen helper come in after school to give them an hour or two of her undivided attention. a walk to the park, a bath, all doing the laundry just some little things to give me a break. I figured if I did one thing a day, it wa enough.
DAd did most of the milk runs during the week.
Here's a good expressing routine for you to try- message your breasts for a few minutes, have a 4 oz drink of water- then use pumnp of choice for 5+
minutes; pause for another 4 oz drink and take some deep breaths;repeat pumping for 5 + minutes and then finish up with some hand expressing ( see lactationinstitute.org for the Marmet technique). Repeat every two hours.
This routine is used at Breastfeeding Boot Camp ( an at home time out to help Moms recapture their milk supply and connect with baby)You can find out more at
fourfriends.com/abrw/ They have a weekend mini-camp and a full ten day plan as well. There are also diet recommendation that may help you. small meals 4 times a day may help as will keeping up the liquids ( 3 quarts a day)Even starving Moms in Africa can make good milk but its the let-down that you need and stress keeps it from happening. I liked playing an Andy William's recording of Moon River and imagining that the river was my milk. Also putting a picture of baby on the pump lets you focus on the job at hand. You are an essential part of the baby care team and will be able to play a critical role once she can have your prescious milk. One day at a time is all you need to work on for now. Hang tough...