Mothering Forum banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,872 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like I'm struggling a bit here myself the last few days, since I had the ultrasound / breech / low fluid hospital scare...<br><br>
To condense:<br><br>
I feel like previous to the hosptial visit, I didn't pay attention to every movement, but now I feel like I have to. And even though I don't WANT to go into the hospital for non stress tests every three days, I also feel myself CRAVING tomorrow's test... as if I suddenly no longer can tell for myself that everything is going okay! The nurse told me I don't need to do specific kick counts, yet its all I can do to keep myself from looking up online what "normal" amounts of kicks are. I know nothing has changed in my instincts... yet I'm just not trusting myself as much.<br><br>
I guess with the insertion of medicality (is that a word <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ?) into this pregnancy, I feel like suddenly have these doubts that everything will be fine, when previously I had no doubts. It's VERY frustrating.<br><br>
With regards to breech, I feel like previous to the ultrasound, I knew DS would turn heads down when ready, and yet now I'm worried he won't. Even though DD turned just before I went into labor... And so, I feel guilty about going to get that ultrasound in the first place... like it was the first in a line of interventions that are going to lead to another C section for me... because I can't wrap my mind around the idea that even though there's a bit of stepped up concern, everything is still fine, progressing normally, and nothing TRULY has changed.<br><br>
DH has such a great attitude about things - he really believes everything is still normal, that the fluid levels & placenta degeneration are normal for ME, which is all that's important, and that I'm healthy, baby is fine (I guess all of this is true), and that everything will work out - and he keeps reminding me of this - yet I'm feeling this doubtful, self defeating feelings! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
I just feel like I'm walking around on slightly heightened alert, and I can't relax... and I really want to hold my baby too... but I know its still too early... and then I start thinking about all the what ifs, and start remembering the parts about my previous C section that weren't all that stellar (I'll save you all the details... assuming you've even been able to wade through this post this far! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) and I lose my focus on the positive.<br><br>
Any other mamas (previous C, breech, or otherwise!) feeling this way? Any words of wisdom, positive thoughts, mantras you're willing to share?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
Your body is wise and your baby is wise. Try not to waste your precious resources you need for labor on worry and fear. I know that's easier said than done ... but no matter what, you have a strong, healthy baby coming your way. I was really freaking out about my baby being transverse, but some wise women around me talked me through (including myself, if I may be so bold!). Maybe your baby knows something you don't and is in the position he's in right now for a good reason.<br><br>
You're doing the right things and this community is full of wisdom and guidance. stay focused and STAY POSITIVE <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I'll do my part to send good vibes your way, too
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
924 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> just wanted to say I hope you find peace and let your body do its thing
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,373 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br>
Add me to those thinking of you and sending positive vibes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
While, in most of life, I'm a fairly controlled person, somehow, at least in my first labor, I found the way to totally relax and let my body be guided by that inner wisdom that I really wasn't sure (beforehand) that I had. Honestly, I believe (and I'm not *THIS* crunchy) that I was physically, emotionally and spiritually supported by a cloud of angels who carried me through the majority of my labor.<br><br>
I believe this happened because I let go and let it happen, in spite of myself!<br><br>
If you have any relaxation exercises, or if you can find a book or website and learn some, maybe try to spend some time really just consciously finding how to let yourself relax into a moment. I think that will help in any kind of birth--especially your beautiful, natural, perfect-for-you-and-your-baby birth that is almost here! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
--willo
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,040 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry that the doctors are making you doubt yourself. I went through that too for a while this preg. What helped me was to meditate and say some positive affirmations when I was doubting myself. Remember that your body KNOWS how to grow and give birth to a healthy baby. Your baby knows how to be born. There may be a reason he is breech right now, but if he can safely be born vaginally then he will turn in time. Nature knew what it was doing when it made us women, we were designed for this.<br><br>
Nothing has changed in you since that u/s. Your body is the same as it was before you went in to have that u/s and you trusted it prior to the u/s so continue to have faith.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,038 Posts
Hugs and hopes KS Mama...we CAN (and WILL) do this. In just a few weeks we can swap VBAC stories and see if we've maintained our "twin super birth powers". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Seriously though, I've been having some doubts too about this birth...I'm worried that my labor will repeat itself and I'll just "give in" to a repeat c/s. I'm worried that I'll stall out at 7cm again, worried that I'll reach a point where a c/s just seems easier and more "logical" and since I'm a VBAC the hospital staff will take my request for a repeat seriously and off to the OR I'll go. I'm worried that my babes really don't know how to get out naturally and Roro will squish herself around the way her big sis did and that will be the end of that.<br><br>
I think it's really really normal to have these sorts of doubts and fears though...and since you've already been given a dose of "medicality" these last few days it's totally natural that thee worries be even bigger.<br><br>
But hang in there! Just because you had the u/s and are now having nstests, it DOESN'T mean you've started down some slippery slope of medical intervention. You're using tools that are available to you and, even more than a mama who has never had birth difficulties, you are very aware of the risks and trade offs these tools can bring. On the one hand this can make you worry more (about that darn cascade of interventions) but on the other it means you're paying closer attention and are much LESS likely to allow the situation to cascade. You know what you need and what you want, and you have the power and experience to ask for and demand that those needs be met.<br><br>
You are a strong and capable mama and you (and your babe) are going to be FINE! I know how hard it can be to trust your body after c/s and now with everything else you're facing it's even tougher...but you're doing it every minute of the day! Listen to your DH, listen to your inner voice, listen to your babe, and hang in there...<br><br>
I've been trying to focus on my "mantra" from Shakespeare in Love, "it'll all work out...I don't know how, it just does". I don't know if it will help, but feel free to borrow it if it does!
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top