Mothering Forum banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there. I have an 18mo old little girl that loooves the boob. This is fine with us, lol.<br><br>
I'm having a problem though. I really, really want to have another baby and my husband and I would like to ttc. The trouble is that as far as I can tell, I'm not ovulating. What does this have to do with night-weaning?<br><br>
Well, I believe in child-led weaning. I really do, I cannot even immagine just taking the boob away from my baby. But I really want another baby and I'd also really like to sleep, lol. The few times M has slept through the night she's been a very happy lil girl the next day, too. Anyway, the hope is that if I can just cut out the ONE nighttime feed that at least I can start moving my body in the direction of getting it's stuff together. i didn't want to even consider it before, but she has brought herself down to one feeding a night...and even that isn't a feeding so much as Oops, I woke up, where's my boob, back to sleep. Sometimes, she pees. So, it's not even a feeding anymore and I had nothing to do with that, she has just gradually done that on her own. But now I'm a pacifier all night long and that just isn't cool for me because her sleep-latch is absolutely horrific...so having her sorta half on there flutter-suckling is killing my sleep. It hurts and even when it isn't gratingly painful, it's nerve-wracking. i simply can't *stand* it.<br><br>
Anyway, how do I go about getting her to stop that? She has her own bed, in our room, but I really don't mind her sleeping with us (she always has) I just don't want to be a night-pacifier anymore. During the day, I nurse when she asks, also at naptime and before bed. She still nurses alot but not when we are out (her doing, not mine, she's entirely to busy to ask). I dont' want to wean her, just nightime feedings have to go. What do I do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Don't want this to go unanswered, but I don't have many suggestions, as I a in same boat. Some of the tips in NCSS might help for the needing to be constantly latched on.<br><br>
Anyone else have anything for this mama?<br><br>
Mamatrip
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
I co-slept with our daughter in our bedroom until she was about 16 months old. She was such an intense night nurser that she and I slept together and Papa slept in another room so that at least one parent wasn't totally wrecked! We decided to try a different arrangement. We made her room--in which she had never slept--as cozy and lovely as we could. We played there and read books there for a few days. We put a queen size mattress on the floor. Then after about a week, we nursed to sleep on that mattress. After she fell asleep, I returned to our bedroom--where Papa was waiting for me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I don't know if it was that she had reached some new sleeping milestone or what, but she immediately started to sleep long stretches. She had been sleeping about 45 minute to 2 hour stretches before that. Our bedrooms are side by side and my head is about 2 feet from her head, separated by a wall. I hear her when she wakes and nurse her in her bed. I return to my bed when she is asleep. This is do-able since she is nursing once in the night. This may very well not continue, but for the time being it is nice to see. We still share sleep. We still nurse to sleep. But for a mom who was turning into a completely sleep deprived zombie, this has been good. For me, the key was making her room feel really safe and welcoming. Before this, I felt that anyplace but our bed was not good for her. Now we share a bed in her room and we still share sleep, but we both are getting more sleep.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yay! Thanks for responding, you guys. I'd LOVE to set M up in her own room. But unfortunately there isn't another room to set her up in, lol. We did set up her todler bed, and that has helped. She actually sleeps longer now. She still wakes up sometime between 4 and 6am most nights (sometimes earlier) and wants to nurse (which right now we do in our bed). i've been trying to be firm about her being off the bood when she's not eating anymore. It's tough because I'm half asleep, lol. Hopefully, we'll manage something. Thank you for your responses!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16 Posts
When my daughter was 17 months I got pregnant again, and her all night long wake ups and painful night nursing were killing me, and I was already tired from being pregnant but would walk around like a zomby during the day. Something had to change. I love sleeping with her and have always have, but she had never slept longer than a 2 hour stretch when I was her "all night snack bar", and I didn't feel it was fair to my new baby or my body for me to be this sleep deprived. So, we got the book "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Pantley". We decided to take some techniques from there and have my husband night-time parent her. It worked like a charm. Within 5 nights she was sleeping from 8pm until 4am. She is still in our bed and we have one night nursing at 5am and then she sleeps until 7:30 or so. Our family bed is happy and we are all getting so much more sleep, it is wonderful. (Her daytime napping has improved too).<br>
Jennifer
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,289 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jennmom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We decided to take some techniques from there and have my husband night-time parent her. It worked like a charm. Within 5 nights she was sleeping from 8pm until 4am. She is still in our bed and we have one night nursing at 5am and then she sleeps until 7:30 or so. Our family bed is happy and we are all getting so much more sleep, it is wonderful. (Her daytime napping has improved too).<br>
Jennifer</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
The same thing worked for us. Although our naps did NOT improve.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Dr. Jay Gordon has a gentle approach to night weaning on his website and I think he has also written a book about it. We have been using it and it is slow going, but it's working. Check it out, maybe you'll find something helpful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you, again, guys. I'll check out Dr. Jay Gordon's site (never even heard of him, lol). I'm also going to see if I can get the NCSS from the local library.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,277 Posts
You've gotten great responses and I just wanted to add one thing I learned at a development discipline workshop last week. Whatever change you institute, make sure you talk to your child about it in the days leading up to it. Such as, "In three days we're not going to have nursies in the night anymore. I'll hold your hand/you can hold Teddy/daddy will rock you, but no more night nursies in three nights (then two, then one)" and say it often during the day, especially when you are nursing.<br><br>
For me it's so true that I have great plans and goals for my kids and often I forget to clue them in! If you share your plan, you can then validate their experience and feelings and they're not taken by suprise by the sudden change in their lives. The instructor said kids as young as 12 months understand these things, but I try to practice this now with my 7.5 month old.<br><br>
Good luck to you. I'm looking for my own nighttime solutions right now and I know how hard it is to struggle with sleep deprivation and guilt.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
704 Posts
We've been going through this as well. First we tried to set limits. For example, if he woke up before midnight, then dad would go to him (in his crib still at this point) and soothe him back to sleep. If he woke up after midnight, I would go to him and either nurse him there, or bring him back to bed with us. Using this approach we got down to roughly 3 X's a night - once at bedtime, once in the middle of the night and once upon waking up. He nurse very infrequently during the day (but eats a ton), so I wasn't looking to eliminate all nursings.<br><br>
Anyway, he got sick (croup) and this all went out the window and he nursed every 2 hours for 4 days straight! When he was healthier, I tried to get the nursings back down and actually am still trying. At one point, when he was in bed with us, and not really nursing but doing that where is my boob thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I just got cranky and said - no more, mama needs to sleep. Then I rolled over and went back to sleep. I was just over it. I thought he'd scream, but no, he just rolled around a bit, like he was searching for a comfortable position and fell back to sleep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wild.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wild"><br><br>
I couldn't believe it! Of course it isn't always like that, but I am getting at least a couple nights a week now where he is sleeping thru till 5 am or so. Other nights, I have one waking w/ nursing prior to that. I'm happier, but still working towards a more restful sleep, as just like you I'm hoping to conceive soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
[q] At one point, when he was in bed with us, and not really nursing but doing that where is my boob thing I just got cranky and said - no more, mama needs to sleep. Then I rolled over and went back to sleep. I was just over it. I thought he'd scream, but no, he just rolled around a bit, like he was searching for a comfortable position and fell back to sleep.[/q]<br><br><br>
This is pretty much what's been happening recently. I just get so worn out that eventually I'm just like, Nope, we're done, go to sleep and I just roll over. Dh has been good with helping to calm her down. She likes to sleep between both of us and if he gets up in the middle of the night or leaves early for work or something, she'll wake me up and ask me "Where's Daddy?" It's precious. We ec, too, and last night she was driving me INSANE at like, 4:30 or something like that. Kicking, wiggling, whining about milk, whining about dady. Finally I woke up enough to realize that she needed to pee! She peed three times last night and woke up dry this morning! *dances*<br><br>
So, that's a start. We are down to one feeding in the middle of the night and one upon waking (which I've conveniently distracted her from successfully three times, now). She doesn't miss it, I give her breakfast and then we sit down for a good long nurse. I'm hoping that will catch becaues that is much preferrable to being up most of the night. Thanks again, y'all.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top