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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Mamas,

I am 21 weeks pregnant with DD#3, and my 27 month old DD has definately cut back on her nursing, though she hasn't weaned. My supply disappeared a couple months ago, but it seems that it has come back again, though DD says it tastes different now. Maybe it is colustrum already.

I am conflicted about tandem nursing but think that CLW will be best for DD, so we are still nursing. My big issue right now is that I would like to establish some boundaries.

She doesn't nurse much, probably 2X per day, short periods. But she is extremely possesive of my breasts. She gets upset if anyone else touches them, even if it is just me. I have been having to do that to help position myself due to extreme pain when she is nursing. It gets too uncomfortable unless I get a really nice latch. For example, she got very upset the other day when I had my hand on my breast while she was nursing. I explained to her that my nipples are very sore and that I needed to hold my breast while she nursed so that it wouldn't hurt me. She didn't accept my explanation and proceeded to stop nursing and have a tantrum. Not fun first thing in the morning as we are waking up in bed. She cried for about 40 minutes. I tried to offer her her paci, her special baby, to snuggle, breakfast etc. but she was inconsolable and stayed focused on her distress about my hand on my breast. She kept asking to nurse and I told her she could but that I would have to hold my breast and that was unacceptable to her. Yowza, that was so bad. At her age, I think she should be able to accept my wishes in this relationship.

Her possessivness isn't OK with me and feel it will be extremely distressing to her when our new baby arrives and will be exlusively nursing.

She is very attached to her nursing (as limited as it is now) and I don't feel comfortable weaning her.

Otherwise, she is a pretty chilled out, happy kid in all other areas.

Yikes.

My plan is this:

I am making her a book about the new baby, which will prominently feature how the baby nurses etc. I am trying to prepare her for this fact. We have some other books too but they don't specifically address this.

I have established specific nursing times. Before nap and bed, and in the AM if she wants. But I am asking her to wait if she asks at other times, and snuggling instead. She has been OK with this.

I think I need to stand firm, I will allow her to nurse, but it may have to be on my terms and she will have to get past her stubborness if she wants to nurse. It just doesn't feel very gentle, and it is so disruptive.

Sorry about this long ramble, needed to get it down.

Have any of you had to deal with situations like this? Jealousy, possesivness? How did you soften those emotions in your nursling?

I was hoping she would wean on her own by now, but at this point I feel like I need to put some work into preparing her so that the arrival of the new baby won't be as traumatic for her.

Thanks in advance, ND
 

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I am impressed that you're figuring all this out before babe arrives. I decided I'd just go with the flow, so to speak, and it was very difficult for me. I do think, that at past 2, they are very capable of understanding simple limits, and it's wise of you to implement them now. In short, I think your plan sounds great and you're doing your very best to meet the needs of both your nurslings, as well as your own needs. (something I had a hard time with.
)

Good Luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Teabag. Today was a pretty good day. She complained a bit when I had her change positions to nurse but she accepted my explanation that it made me much more comfortable. I am taking it as a good sign


It is a hard thing, because of her jealousy, I think it would be better for her not to be in a situation where she has to share nursing, but because of her attachment to nursing, I think it would be really hard for her to no longer be nursing
: Oy.

LOL I am sure the challenges will be totally different from what I am anticipating


ND
 

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I don't really have any advice, but I'm interested in the responses. dd (30mos.) wants to nurse around the clock (seriously - like an infant!) and when I pms my nipples HURTS!! DS self weaned at two, when my milk dried up (pregnancy) so I have no real experiance nursing a two year old. I'm trying to set boundries, or at be able to tell her "not now, but latter," maybe she's still too little for that.
 

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Hey stranger!!!!!


First off ~ CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
So excited to hear about your pregnancy!


Secondly ~ I am also still nursing Zarah (also 27 mos
) AND Zane (7 mos tomorrow) so hopefully I can be of some help!

Zarah isn't possessive of my breasts but she has her preferences about "how" she nurses and can have mini-fits as well. She was *almost* weaned (AM and PM only) when Zane came along and then ~~~ BAM ~~ she decided that everytime Zane nursed, she had to too!!!! OY VEY!

I am sure it had to do with possessiveness ~ "those are mine" ~ as well as wanting do what the baby did so she didn't feel left out. She has never tried to get Zane off the breast but always insists on nursing EVERY. SINGLE. TIME that he does!!!! It was very tough in the beginning when Zane was an infant.

I truly hoped she would lose interest without my prompting but it looks like that won't be happening. I didn't set any limits in the beginning because I didn't want her to resent Zane. Besides, I was sitting there nursing anyway so what was another child on the other boob?!


Around Zane's six month is when I started putting down some limits. She still wants to nurse everytime he does, and I let her, but I have cut back on the times that she nurses on her own. (She would seriously nurse ALL day if I let her)

The one GREAT thing about tandem nursing was/is watching them hold hands across my chest.
Melts my heart everytime. They have a great relationship and I like to think it is because of the tandem nursing ~~ it's what gets me through the days and nights when I simply feel like a milking cow!!!


So ~ long story short. I don't really have any tips for you ~ I can just relate!


Edit ~ Had to fix some smilies!
 
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