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Need support/tips with my 4mo

432 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Carlyle
We've been ecing with dd for about a month (since she was 3 mo). It started out pretty good, but has gotten frustrating and I need some ideas to help me keep going.

Right now, she refuses to be held "in-arms" or to sit on her bblp. (Though making a cover for it might help?). So, I'll resort to lying her down on some prefolds, and sometimes then she'll go. (Though often it seems she waits till I leave the room.) I cue her when I see her go. I also cue her when I manage to get her to relax "in-arms" but that isn't getting her to go right now. I often hold a bowl between my legs when I nurse, and somtimes she'll pee then. But she usually doesn't stop nursing or give any signals. Just pees and seems oblivious.

Thought No. 1: I need new equipment. We just bought a bunch of pockets right before I discovered ECing
. Before we were using prefolds, the small ones, and she grew out of them. Back to prefold without a cover so i can tell better when she pees? I'm also tempted to invest in split crotch pants, traning pants, wool puddle pads, etc. But I don't want to go spend a bunch more money and not have any more success!

Thought No 2: Caregiver confusion/getting grandparents on board. We have 3 sets of grandparents in town who are very mainstream and I haven't told them about EC yet. One of them babysits in the morning 6 days a week, for abotu 4 hours. I come back to breastfeed at the halfway point. Right now I'm embarassed to try and potty her (with no success!) while they're in the house.

Thought No. 3: Time management! I work at home, on a flexible schedule, but am very busy, and all this time trying to potty is not helping! Ideally I'd be out the door (to the garden, farm stand, etc.) with dd in tow by 6:30 or 7:00...but now I just sit around the house and try and get her to go. I'm thinking I need to spend some serious weekend, totally diaper free time?? or what?

Thought No. 4: role of routine in all of this. I am not good about setting routines either for myself or DD. We have not tried at all to get her on a schedule/routine for sleeping, eating, anything. Sometimes she goes to bed at 6:30, sometimes at 10:30. Her waking time depends on when she went to bed, and whether I wake her up to take her out to the field with me. Ask me how often she eats, I have no idea. Often. Does she sleep well? I think so. We cosleep and I just latch her on and go back to sleep. I have no idea how often she eats. I have noticed at night sometimes I try and get her to nurse and she really just wants a change in position or something. My baby is generally very mellow, but I'm wondering if all this lack of routine is not helping the EC et going??

Maybe I just need patience and to relax. Thoughts? TIA.
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Hi there,

Welcome! I work at home with the baby, and mine is also 4 months. it does feel like all we do is potty sometimes, but his signals are pretty clear so it's not too bad here. I only have time for a quick response right now, so I just wanted to tell you to include the grandparents! Both my mother and mother-in-law have been very supportive. We are diapering full time and pottying full time, so it's pretty easy for them to support. I think they like the challenge of reading the baby's signals. And one of my sisters has visited a few times to help. On her last visit, she started offering to take the baby to potty. I think once anyone witnesses a potty full of poop instead of a diaper full of poop, they will support you! Keep at it, it will all get easier soon...
Relax, don't pressure yourself. It sounds like you're doing fine. Even if you just offer when you can I think you're doing your baby a big favor. If you don't want to use the pockets because they feel too dry, you can just use them as a cover, and put the insert in them just like they were a cover (instead of sticking them IN the pocket, you're just laying them on top...make any sense?).

If you want grandparent help, but don't want to seem whacko, just tell them: Hey, I've been offering her a chance to pee in the potty a couple of times a day: right when she wakes up, 15 minutes after she has her milk, every time I change her diaper, and whenever I go to the bathroom. So feel free to stick her on there whenever you're inspired. I've heard it makes potty training so much easier when the time comes.

This makes it seem so much less intimidating (and is likely what their parents did with them). Really, I think that this is the ideal because it keeps you relaxed and keeps it low pressure, but still gets your lo used to using the potty in a seriously low pressure way! Good luck!
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