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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm camping out in the GD forum for a while. I'm struggling with some issues, mostly yelling. All my issues circle back around to me and my own desires or expectations. As I work through some of this, I'll be looking toward making my home more peaceful for my children, dh and myself.

I'll be lurking, learning, and maybe even posting. I need to recharge my GD philosophy. It seems to have gotten trampled on this year. It has been a year of stress. We moved to another state, had baby #3 (and she was a surprise), and have had some serious financial struggles. Other things have gone on as well, but those are the big three that are making it hard for me to remember to not yell at my dc.

I'm so thankful to have this place to come to. I'm looking forward to getting to know the moms here and getting GD back into the forefront of mothering my dc.
 

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Welcome Tanya! Seems like now, as the seasons change and everything else is changing in many families, there are struggles...

Hang around, post, vent, ask, whine, contribute - we are here for support!
 

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Nice to have you

It's so easy to get off track, and especially with all the HUGE changes you've gone through!
Do what you need to do to get on track- vent, post, lurk. Whatever makes you happy
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the welcome. I have dusted a book off my shelf that I've wanted to read for a while. The How to talk so kids will listen/listen so kids will talk by Faber. I'm hoping it will help me with my two older dc and reinforce my discipline with some practical help. I've read other books, too, but I need a fresh look instead of re-reading favorites as I have in the past.
 

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Hi Friend! What a nice surprise to see you here...as I just ventured over here today myself, as my GD tank seems to be empty. The yelling has gotten out of control, and I am desperate to do better. My 2yo is ... two years old. She ignores everything I say, and I want to smack her. I don't smack her, but the fact that I want to really bothers me.

I'd like to know what else you have read - I'm gearing up for a trip to the library. I am taking next week off of work and hopefully recharging a little myself.

Anyway, I'm glad to see you here (but sorry you are struggling also). We can surely help each other out. PM me anytime
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, fancy meeting you here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Juice View Post
I don't smack her, but the fact that I want to really bothers me.
This is what bothers me the most right now, too. I feel it more often with my 5 yo ds, but I still get that same feeling with me 2 yo dd. Right now I just have more days that are out of control than not. I know I don't want to hit, but that feeling of wanting to is coming out in the form of yelling.
:

How can I have nothing but warm fuzzy feelings for the baby no matter how often she nurses at night, and have these awful feelings for my other dc who I love just as much?

Some of the last week or so is a delayed reaction to dh being out of town. It's like it was dormant while he was gone, but the stress is begging for release lately.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Juice View Post
I'd like to know what else you have read - I'm gearing up for a trip to the library.
I've read The Discipline Book by Sears (twice)
How to Really Love Your Child by Campbell - a favorite
The Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman -another favorite
Time In: When time out doesn't work (or something like that)
Non-violent Communication

I'm a Christian, so I also look for discipline books that reflect this and are not by Dobson (or similar to him). One of the very best that I have found is Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmell.


On my shelf is Faber's book I just opened up, and Siblings without Rivalry. I'd also like to read Adventures in Gentle Discipline, Biblical Parenting, and Raising Your Spirited Child (because ds is one of those
)
 

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I too have decided its time I should camp out here.
I have been struggling with the same things as you and it looks as if we are in the same boat with our personal life, new home, Job ect.

I have a 14 mo. ds and an 8 yr old dd. Everyday it seems I am yelling at my dd. When she falls asleep at night, a rush of guilt comes over me and I feel so awful. Next day comes and it happens again
All the while ds is the perfect babe and could never make me yell (in dd's eyes).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TanyaS View Post
Some of the last week or so is a delayed reaction to dh being out of town. It's like it was dormant while he was gone, but the stress is begging for release lately.
Mega-props to you for handling everything so well during that time. I totally understand the feeling of being in Survival Mode - and then the crash when you don't have to be in it anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hip_mama View Post
Everyday it seems I am yelling at my dd. When she falls asleep at night, a rush of guilt comes over me and I feel so awful.
: We just transitioned from two kids to three, and it was really really hard on everybody. All of a sudden I found myself at home, alone, with three kids under age five, all day, every day. The two older kids were so bored, it was August, we couldn't really GO anywhere because I felt like I'd been hit by a truck after DS' birth, and our backyard was demolished by the construction of our new garage. It was bad news. One day I yelled at DD1, and sent her to her room (mostly so I could deal with the situation at hand) and when I went up to talk to her, she was sobbing in her bed, clutching a framed photograph of me. It killed me. I'm crying now just thinking of that, and it was months ago. I felt like she missed me as though I were dead.

Everything is better now, my two girls are in the routine of preschool, I'm back at work, and things have struck a better balance. We're mainly having problems with DD2, who is just being a normal two-year-old.

I am so committed to doing better. I'm going to start with some reading. I'm very interested in Unconditional Parenting, and my local library has it so I'll pick it up today. I've got Sears' The Discipline Book, but I have to find it again
. I want to read Siblings Without Rivalry because it seems that sibling issues are at the top of the list right now. I'm going to see what else is on the shelf at my library this morning, and then get to it.

Also, I'm trying to motivate DH to do something other than yelling, or snapping at the kids when he's frustrated. Sometimes it seems like he's grumpy with them from the moment he wakes up, or the moment he comes home. He's a HUGE reader, so if I can get some good information in front of him, it will work better than if I try to tell him something, which he'll take as criticism.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Jessica! I teared up just reading that. I have had those moments with my ds. It seems easier to send him to his room so I can defuse the situation. We're having some serious sibling issues between my oldest two. Ds teases dd, and she is learning to assert herself with him more, and sometimes overdoes it. Then he responds with an equally overdone reaction. Nothing brings out the primal child in me more than everyone around me acting like crazed children.


That's awesome your dh is a reader. Mine is not, unless it's a short booklet or magazine. I blame it on his ADHD. Yup, he has it. And you know it makes things SO easy around here.
I'm determined to foster a love of reading in my dc, especially my ds so when his wife wants him to read something then he will. My brother is a reader like me, and it's because my mom was a reader and encouraged us to read as well.
 

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OK, I went to the library. I got:

Unconditional Parenting
How to Talk so your kids will listen...
Parenting with Purpose (don't know anything about this one)
and The Family Kitchen (yeah, so, not a gd book at all but one I saw while I was there
)

I passed up "I'm OK, You're a Brat", which I am not making up.
Of course, now I'm at work, so not much time to delve in.
 

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yup this is my spot too. This morning it was "SHUT UP BIG MOUTH" and "EVERY THING YOU SAY IS A LIE" and we were on our way out the door to the school bus so I couldn't do a thing. I understand hormones and she is being adopted by us and she wants to be and she has just had a family visit and been a monster ever since so I try yo be understanding but aaaaagh! What the heck do I do?

she did apologize as she got out of the car.
 
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