[mmhinton]

I know that there are similar posts regarding this... here's mine...DS 2 will be 2 in a month. I thought night weaning would help me not resent his nursing... but that hasn't helped much. He still cosleeps as he will NOT sleep unless up against me or DH. But, now when he does wake during the night (which is still at least once), I offer him his water. He can either have a drink of that or go back to sleep, but I do not nurse him.
I'd thought I would do CLW, but I have begun to truly resent nursing him. I can't stand it. I know that to at least some extent it is hormonal - my periods returned with he was about 10 months old (even though he was still exclusively BF). And, now that I'm done trying to get preg, my periods are regular (NEVER were, ever, before kids). And with with regular periods, I've been having definite hormonal (PMS, ?PMDD) issues. I'd thought it would get better each month after period started or whatever, but each month it just seems to last longer to the extent that now, there might be only a few days of the month that I don't just hate nursing him.
DS 1 self weaned at 16 months b/c I was 6 month preg with ds2 and had no milk left, so I have no personal experience with true "weaning". As I mentioned, I'd really thought I would do CLW, but now I am just not sure I can or want to do that as I feel like continuing to nurse might be negatively affecting my relationship with both my boys (ds1 wants my attention especially when I nurse and ds2 gets frustrated when I tell him no touch or whatever when he's nursing).

Mostly, I think I just feel guilty for: 1) not being able to do CLW with ds1 due to pregnancy 2) feeling so resentful towards continued nursing and 3) not feeling up to CLW with ds2.....
I think that about sums it up...

Is it worth it to try to continue to nurse? If I do decide to wean, HOW do I do it gently???

 

[wagamama]

No advice, but I'm there too! In my case, I actually still enjoy nursing, but the problem is that I can't keep up with my daughter's "appetite" for bm. I'm feeling so nutrionally drained and exhausted. Wanted to CLW, but need to find a solution that works for the whole family

 

[Sheryl1678]

I am going through the exact same thing right now with my 14mo dd. Nursing is just no fun. Her latch has changed, the drain on my body is unbelievable. I really want to do clw too so working on her latch and we banned all sippy cups. I am also struggling with her needs vs. mine. I don't want to hate what I am doing multiple times a day but I think its really important for her.

No advice, just hugs.

 

[mmhinton]

DS2 still has a fine latch and he drinks from cups (or sippy's without stoppers), my supply is fine (for him)... it's just that I CAN'T STAND IT when he's nursing! Kind of like the feeling I had when pregnant and nursing ... just that UUUUGGGGHHHHH GET OFF feeling.
I LOVE my son and love that I have been able to keep him so healthy with breast milk... but it's making me nuts!
I think the thing that drives me most crazy is when he's latched on, but doing nothing... not "eating", not even a "pacifier" suck (though he's never had one...and even when he does paci suck - that drives me nuts too). He's just there... and I hate it! And, at times, though his latch itself is good, it feels like he's trying to chew my nipple off - not biting, but not sucking and I always unlatch him then...
When he wants to nurse, but I know he's not "hungry" I have started giving him water or trying to hold/cuddle him. BUT, if he wants milk and I tell him "in a little bit" or the equivalent, he literally SCREAMS at me "MOMMA" (while screaming) in anger. At that point he will not even let me hold him - he's just mad at me

But, at the same time, I know he does not NEED to nurse - it's just been such a habit for him.
Anyway, I am losing patience quickly and feel AWFUL about it.....

 

[D_McG]

I started weaning my son at 20 mos when I was pregnant. I just put us on a schedule and weaned one feeding by week. When it was time to nurse I nursed. When it wasn't I did everything but nurse.

My little girl is now 16 mos and from right when I got my period back (2 mos ago?) the same feelings were back. This time I didn't hesitate. We are down to 3x day (morning, nap, nght) and then unlimited over night (that's the next to go).

Order is restored. I enjoy nursing again.

To get her I just did what I did with my son. We nurse in bed before we get up.. at naptime.. before bed. Any other time we have a drink, a snack, a cuddle, play with something cool. I am calm and supportive. It's OK that she wants it. It's ok that she can't have it. I'm the mommy and I know what we need to keep on moving here. To keep our relationship (nursing and otherwise) intact.

That being said, CLW was never my goal. MLW seems much more natural to me (for me). So I have no guilt with that.

Good luck whatever you choose!

 

[zinemama]

In your situation, no it doesn't seem worthwhile to continue. Two years is a huge achievement and you should be tremendously proud.

If he's already not nursing at night you can cut out the first nurse of the day and take it from there. On the other hand, "cold turkey" might be less confusing for him than figuring out why nursing is ok sometimes but not others. Good luck.

 

[INSPIREDVEGAN]

I liked what D_McG said. You definitely don't want to end your nursing relationship on a bad note. Someday you will miss that special bond and time together.

 

[mtbmomma]

I too dislike when my dd is done getting milk and just sucking. I have started telling her, "10 more seconds of nursing", when we get to that point. Then, I count up or down from ten and she pops off and says all done and runs off to play. I think the first few times I had to pop her off myself, but now she just does it on her own most of the time. I think it makes her feel a little more in control about the situation, and I know it makes me a lot happier and more comfortable. This is also how we end our nursing sessions before bed. Once we count down from 10 and I turn out the lights, she can have snuggles and water, but no more nursing until morning. So far it is working really well. This might work instead of weaning, or might be a good direction to go in gently weaning him.

 

[mmhinton]

Thanks for all the support, comments and advice! I think "cold turkey" would be a shock for him (and me) in that he would probably just scream ALL day (and night). But, mtbmomma, I like your idea of counting to a certain number (and keeping that consistent) to give him a "feeling / sense of control" - great idea! With ds1 (when I nursed during pregnancy) I used a song - it was a certain length of time - but that was more for me than for him

So, I have tried to decrease number of nursings during the day (he was still nursing generally every 2-3 hours during the day - BUT only actually "nutritive" nursing about 3 times per day). Maybe I can incorporate the counting too!
Again - Thanks!!

 

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

You mention being done trying to get pregnant and having regular periods-- are you using hormonal birth control? I only ask because that can cause different people to have all different sorts of symptoms, and perhaps that could be a cause of your negative feelings.

 

[mmhinton]

MaterPrimaePuellae - DH had a vasectomy, so yep, no more kiddos

I am now, for the first time in my menstruating life, having "regular" periods (varying from 28 - 40 days apart). I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) when we were trying to get pregnant the first time. Up to that point, my periods were VERY, VERY irregular and I'm not sure I'd ever really ovulated? I "felt" more hormonally "normal" during pregnancy than I ever had in my life. Now, after pregnancies, I "FEEL" hormonally out of whack, but am having regular periods. But, with regular periods, come the regular hormones and that, among other things, makes me really, really not like nursing ds2 any longer.
I've been to my GP doctor and asked about why I feel so out of whack, but he just said that since I'm having regular periods, my hormones are "fine" (I have other symptoms new to me before periods - i.e., stomach pain (not intestinal - stomach), very cold hands and feet, etc all of which dr. said was just "part of my "time of life/age"").
So, any negative feelings are due to my own hormones

Overall, I think I'll be more content if I can get ds2 to decrease nursing frequency from every 2-3 hours to every 5-6+ hours (e.g., wake up, once in a.m., before nap, once in p.m. and then before bed). We are working toward that and it does seem to be helping me. And, really, those are the only times he nutritively nurses anyway...so, hopefully he'll get used to that and we can decrease from there.

 

[hollytheteacher]

have you tried birth control? when I am just having my regular cycles i have those crazy ups and downs too. For the last almost-year i was on the nuvaring and that helped in sooooo many ways!

I'm off it now and in the TWW to find out if i'm preggo with #2 so i'm all hormonal again and feeling kinda resentful about nursing my 2.5 ds as well but if it is something you want to continue you might look into it!