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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
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I used to read the blog of a woman who had a son the day before I did. She was breastfeeding but just complained, complained, complained. It hurt, he was always hungry, she couldn't get a break, she couldn't sleep all night, so on and so forth. I tried my hardest to help her, talk her through it, promised her it gets easier, told her to get help with her latch, etc... She gave up after a month because it wasn't getting easier like everyone said it would, and she was just too stressed and tired.
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Today she wrote a long post about she's using formula now. Then she went on to complain how he still eats all the time, he's now constipated, his poop stinks, she's already switched formulas twice because he's not tollerating it, he screams and cries constantly, they can't go anywhere because he's always cranky, she can't sleep because of him being so fussy all night, her breasts are in severe pain from the engorgement and her attempt to stop it with Ace bandages (can we say mastitis?), and her husband won't change diapers anymore because it now makes him gag. Oh, and she ended it asking if anyone had any coupons for formula she could have because it's so expensive.

But hey! She can go back to smoking again that she had quit when she got pregnant. So see, the formula is so worth it!

 

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So there were MORE CONS with formula, but she's sticking with that?
: I really don't understand the mentality...
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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Originally Posted by VaMountainMomma
If she's engorged, I'm assuming she still has milk. Can you tell her to go back? Seems like the obvious choice to me!!!
It's only been about 2 weeks so I'm sure there is still plenty of milk. I tried talking to her but got the usual "Don't make me feel guilty!" responce, she doesn't even want to hear it. She just wants to be patted on the back, told she did the best she could, and never hear the possibility that the formula is what is making her baby so irritable all the time.
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Sometimes you have to just give up on the person and be grateful her baby got any breastmilk at all.
a few times because you can't really
as much as you want to.
 

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What a sickeningly selfish individual. I'm going to go throw up now...

Honestly, I'd tell her exactly what you think about her decision- who cares if it offends her. You get what you give, right?
 

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But hey! She can go back to smoking again that she had quit when she got pregnant. So see, the formula is so worth it!
According to kellymom, smoking and bf'ing is STILL better than ff'ing so the smoking "arguement' doesn't fly
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I had a similar situation.

I offered to help a friend of a friend with some questions that she had about bf-ing (I had so many problems that I gathered a lot of info and resources of LC's and such). Her dd was only about 9 days old and reminded me so much of my DD (who went with me at 2yo to show that they do eventually grow out of the all the time nursing
). She was so frustrated because she couldn't understand why her baby wanted to be nursed all the time and why she wanted to stay latched on for so long. I tried to encourage her and explain that this is what newborns do and that it will pass and to take advantage of the peace and quiet (at least when she's nursing she's not screaming!) She really wanted DD to be on a schedule and to finish up each nursing quickly, not want to nurse for another 3-4 hours and all that jazz and was not really wanting to hear that that's not how many/most newborns are...

Anyway, it was frustrating to me because she switched to formula and then was told by a doc that she should formula feed on demand
If she had just done that in the first place when she was breastfeeding, she may have been okay. Then of course, her DD was allergic to the formula so ended up with teh super-expensive stuff...
 

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Maybe it would have helped if you'd told her the negatives while she was still breastfeeding.
'Hey, if you have milk and you DON'T nurse, your breasts will hurt. If you feed him formula he'll get sick and his diapers will stink.'

Hey, if she HAS been willing to buy formula so far and has the money for it, maybe she could spend the same money on the ingredients for a whole foods baby formula. It'd be healthy and be the bottle feeding she thinks she wants.

Unless the mother thinks it would be a hassle to 'make' all that formula every day, but not to 'mix' that commercial formula powder with water or heat it.

I might suggest it to her if I get the name of the blog website.
 

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There's just no reasoning with some people. I'm reading your post thinking, yeah, what did she THINK would happen? A baby is still a baby, period. They don't get more convenient just because you stop nursing. I think with nursing we're just more attuned to their needs because the bond is that much more physical, but it's not like FF babies go on that 3-4 hour schedule, sleep better or anything.

Argh, why am I ranting? You all agree with me!
 

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Do people honestly go into becoming a parent as if it's going to be simple?!

Okay, rant time!

I am 19 years old and pregnant with my first. I have NO unrealistic expectations about being a parent. I hear from so many first time moms to be that "having a baby won't change my life that much because I won't let it." That's the type of attitude that makes me wonder why they're having children in the first place. I KNOW that having a child will not be convenient. I'm well prepared for endless feeding, diaper changes, possible colic or sleepless nights. I don't want to force my baby to fit into my schedule. I can understand these things, why are there so many people who can't? Why do people fool themselves into believing there is some way to raise a child that will not inconvenience them? People look to ff, CIO, etc. like it's a solution to their problems, when, in actuality, it's causing more problems. Honestly, if you can't afford to be inconvenienced, don't have children.
 

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Is there a duh smilie around here lol???
 

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Maybe there should be a licensing process for people to be able to have children. You take some classes and some months of practice w/ other people's children, and then at the end if you pass, you get a license to be a parent.
 

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Hey Yasmel, glad to finally see you around here! I'm sure you'll find this place so much more supportive than *you know where*. Like I've said before, over there I'm "Captain Crunch", but here I'm, like, "Specialist Crunch"
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by frontierpsych
Hey Yasmel, glad to finally see you around here! I'm sure you'll find this place so much more supportive than *you know where*. Like I've said before, over there I'm "Captain Crunch", but here I'm, like, "Specialist Crunch"

 

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I just went through something like this with my cousin. She had her first baby and months before asked me about nursing and we talked a long time about it, she decided to give it a go....until her mom and sister heard. Her mom told her that formula was the exact same thing as breastmilk, only more convenient because you could just leave the baby with a sitter and get some time off to yourself, and her sister told her breastfeeding was gross. I was SO MAD!
: So at her shower I tried and tried to talk her back into it, only to see her open 5 or 6 packages containing formula or those little nursette bottles. I couldn't believe people were giving her FORMULA for a baby gift!

A few weeks after he was born we had a family reunion and she was feeding him one of those nursettes, the milk looked so gross, it was brown and all thick, ugh! And he threw most of it back up anyway. Poor little guy.
My baby, though, had on his shirt that said 'I get my milk straight from the tap!'
 

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I'd post a link on her blog to Kellymom's page on relactation and then keep my mouth shut unless she asks for help in relactation.

Just a simple "this is an option" and then bow out. At least her baby got a month of the good stuff.
 
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