Mothering Forum banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a friend I just found out today that during Christmas break, he has to be circumcised. He's 19 and a college friend. He wouldn't tell me anymore, he just stated it was for medical reasons. Keep him in prayer.
:
He seems really pissed off. I'm not sure if its 'cause he's loosing his foreskin or it's just he has to get circumcised at a late age.

Thanks all.
:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,017 Posts
you can probably tell him, that it might be a less invasive approach but then you need to know what's wrong with him and why he is mad... If he wants it done, I would support him 100%. It's his choice anyways.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
414 Posts
If his medical problem is phimosis, you should tell him that a preputial plasty is a much better surgical solution than circumcision. It effectively treats the condition while preserving the foreskin. The recovery time is about the same and he'll be happier with the long-term result.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
Find out what's the problem. Most cases of phimosis don't need to be treated by circumcision. However, there are some medical conditions that do justify the procedure. So, it's hard to conclude anything with regards to your friend. I can only wish him good luck.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
4,280 Posts
Unless he had cancer, frostbite, gangrene or has had a major trauma to the foreskin, he does not have to be circumcised. Whatever the problem is, there is a much less invasive way to handle it.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
8,855 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by NoCircBoi2010 View Post
I have a friend I just found out today that during Christmas break, he has to be circumcised. He's 19 and a college friend. He wouldn't tell me anymore, he just stated it was for medical reasons. Keep him in prayer.
:
He seems really pissed off. I'm not sure if its 'cause he's loosing his foreskin or it's just he has to get circumcised at a late age.

Thanks all.
:
The only three medical conditions that necessitate circucmision are cancer, gangrene and frostbite. In countries who do not routinely circumcised men circumcised later are only at a rate of about 1 in 17,000. So, the chances that his are medically necessary are VERY low.

In fact, I'll share a story. On a different pregnancy board I was on I was sharing information about RIC, another woman came forth and said that her new husband (they were also expecting) had to be circ'd. She briefly discussed his issue (phimosis), and then said that because of that she was planning on having her baby circ'd as well (she was then preggo).

I shared with her a bunch of links about it, and told her to tell her husband to get a second opinion. And, she private messaged me on the board telling me that he had gotten the second opinion, and did NOT need to be circumcised (was able to treat it medically with steroids and stretching). And, with that, not only was the father saved from an unnecessary circumcision, so was their baby boy! That was one of my happier intactavist moments actually
.

And, there is absolutely one thing that I know in dealing with the medical community (having lots of doctors in the family myself and having personal experience with it as well)...you have to absolutely advocate for yourself when it comes to medical treatment. Nobody is going to put as much time or research into it as you are. And, opinions vary greatly among caregivers based on the areas/regions of the country you live in, where the caregivers were schooled and what their personal experience is.

Such as with a pediatrician we saw many years ago--an older male doctor from overseas who admitted that he felt that the majority of his colleagues living in the US were too quick to advocate for circumcision based on their own personal status (I'm guessing too he did not because most likely he was not circumcised himself and knew it to be a good thing).
 

· Registered
Joined
·
14,304 Posts
I would talk to him I know it might be uncomfy but he needs to know that he has a choice.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
363 Posts
Maybe you could message him with the info on treating phimosis without circ? Tell him docs are circ-happy and he really needs a second opinion. Maybe email him so it won't be embarrassing?
This is just more fuel to the fire of "well I know this guy that had to get it done at a later age...so lets just do it on the baby now"
When really whatever the diagnosis is, it should be treated with the least invasive treatment possible, only moving up to surgery as the Very Last Resort.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
358 Posts
Even if he doesn't want to tell the reason, you can still give him the info on why the usual reasons aren't valid, what the alternatives would be, and what the few valid reasons (cancer, etc.) are.
Chances are it's not a good reason.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
372 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Haselnuss View Post
Even if he doesn't want to tell the reason, you can still give him the info on why the usual reasons aren't valid, what the alternatives would be, and what the few valid reasons (cancer, etc.) are.
Chances are it's not a good reason.
:
Foreskin restoration sites have lots of members who were cut as adults that wish SOMEONE had given them another option BEFORE they got circumcised.

If he told you he was getting circ'd to begin with, then he should at least be comfortable enough with you to accept some info about his options.

Prayer is great, but (insert deity of your choice here) helps those who help themselves even more.

One other thought: Could this be something his parents are insisting on for some other, non-medical, reason? If he's 19 and that's the case, he can always tell them to go jump in the lake... although that could have negative repercussions on his college funds. I'm just curious.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
358 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by BamaDude View Post
One other thought: Could this be something his parents are insisting on for some other, non-medical, reason? If he's 19 and that's the case, he can always tell them to go jump in the lake... although that could have negative repercussions on his college funds. I'm just curious.
Hmm, interesting. I would think his parents probably chose to leave him intact, so it would be less likely to be them pushing for it... but perhaps a girlfriend is?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
Yeah, I would still give him the info. Email it or give it in person or both. Also, tell him it's nothing to be embarrassed or defensive about. Yeah, it maybe a private matter, but in my book you are a great friend if you are willing to share important info. with him and/or talk to him about such stuff. It shows that you care and he should appreciate that. I know I would, and it's always good to have someone to be open with like that. In this way, you enhance trust in your friendship. By the way, if it is a girlfriend thing (highly doubtful) or some pressure to "conform," tell him to grow a pair and not listen to some idiots.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
372 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Haselnuss View Post
Hmm, interesting. I would think his parents probably chose to leave him intact, so it would be less likely to be them pushing for it...
I know of a few cases where step-parents insisted their step-sons be circumcised, even when said step-sons were well into their teens.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haselnuss View Post
but perhaps a girlfriend is?
If it is in fact a girlfriend insisting on the circumcision, then the guy in question needs to know what's really going on:

99 times out of 100, when a guy's partner (male or female) insists that a guy get circumcised that's the last thing in the world the partner actually wants him to do. What the partner really wants him to do is say "Hell no!" and break up with them on the spot because they, for whatever reason, aren't willing to be straightforward and break up with him. That way he becomes the "bad guy" because he refused to get circ'd to make the partner happy and the partner's conscience is clear over the breakup.

However, these partners consistently underestimate the lengths to which love-besotted men will go to please them, up to and including permanent body modification. In every single case I've heard of where a man got circumcised because their partner insisted, said partner was gone anyway after three months or less... occasionally even before the stitches have come out.

To sum it up, the guy in question can always find a new partner but he only has one foreskin.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,481 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by NoCircBoi2010 View Post
well I tried and he doesn't want to tell, so I'm not going to push it anymore, he's very defensive, but it's still sad.
I hope you can get him to read some of the info that the OP's posted. After all, if he goes through with it, he'll probably be even more upset after the operation. Good luck!!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
Unless he has frosbite, gangrene, malignancy or serious trauma then it is not likely to be truly medically necessary. Please print this off and give it to him. You can save him a great deal of pain and loss by helping him understand the correct treatment for his issue. My guess is that he has phimosis which is easily treatable. I also believe that he has run across a circ-happy doc that doesn't understand the proper treatment of the intact male.

Answers to your questions about circumcision after the neonatal period:
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet7.html
 

· Registered
Joined
·
439 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by latinalonestar View Post
Unless he has frosbite, gangrene, malignancy or serious trauma then it is not likely to be truly medically necessary.
At this year's Genital Integrity Symposium, I was persuaded that there is another legit reason to be circumcised, but it would be vanishingly rare in a 19 year-old. It is seen as whitish scarring of the preputial sphincter or clitoral hood and is usually diagnosed as BXO or LS. The doctor I heard admitted nobody really knows what it is. It occurs in about 1 in 10,000 men or women. A third of the cases fail to respond to Protopic ointment, and surgery is warranted to relieve painful scratching at the mucosa.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top