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Hi everyone,
This is most likely going to happen again and I need some practical ways to deal with this.
Tonight we went to two very dear, older friends home for dinner. The meal took hours to prepare and was a special way for our friends to show their caring. We sit to eat and dd (3) who often doesn't want to stay in her chair for meals as it is announces as I am putting yams (her favorite) on her plate that she doesn't want the food. The tone is rude and she tells me to 'get the food off her plate'. The woman of the couple offers her another choice but she doesn't want it (and says so in the same tone). I lean into her and quietly mention (as the others start a conversation about something else) that she doesn't have to eat the food but that she needs to speak to our friends with kind words. She sits for a while and then a few mins into the meal she wants to get out of the high chair. The man of the couple tells her (in a strong and - my pov - irritated tone) that it is his house and he has rules that everyone needs to sit in their chair until the others are finished. She sat back down for a moment but the approach that he took is not our way.
What should the next steps have looked like that would have been a positive way of addressing the entire situation? What wound up happening was that she sat on my lap for a while as I ate, then in the woman friends lap and then went into the living room for a while.
I feel embarassed that neither I nor dh could think of a positive way to address the situation.
I would appreciate perspectives and example of how to approach this.
TIA
This is most likely going to happen again and I need some practical ways to deal with this.
Tonight we went to two very dear, older friends home for dinner. The meal took hours to prepare and was a special way for our friends to show their caring. We sit to eat and dd (3) who often doesn't want to stay in her chair for meals as it is announces as I am putting yams (her favorite) on her plate that she doesn't want the food. The tone is rude and she tells me to 'get the food off her plate'. The woman of the couple offers her another choice but she doesn't want it (and says so in the same tone). I lean into her and quietly mention (as the others start a conversation about something else) that she doesn't have to eat the food but that she needs to speak to our friends with kind words. She sits for a while and then a few mins into the meal she wants to get out of the high chair. The man of the couple tells her (in a strong and - my pov - irritated tone) that it is his house and he has rules that everyone needs to sit in their chair until the others are finished. She sat back down for a moment but the approach that he took is not our way.
What should the next steps have looked like that would have been a positive way of addressing the entire situation? What wound up happening was that she sat on my lap for a while as I ate, then in the woman friends lap and then went into the living room for a while.
I feel embarassed that neither I nor dh could think of a positive way to address the situation.
I would appreciate perspectives and example of how to approach this.
TIA