Mothering Forum banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,806 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As the pressure mounts for me to wean my 3-year-old DS, I feel myself growing more and more defensive. People (DH, my mother, my father, my in-laws) keep warning about all the possible negative side effects of nursing such an "old" child. My response is always the same, "Show me one legitimate source that states even one true negative outcome of extended breastfeeding."

I could keep them reading for days on all the positives about it, but of course that's just skewed stuff from crazies like you freaky fringe MDC weirdos. And that lunatic Dr. Sears. You just know he's a freak.

My son has met all his milestones late (because he's breastfed). He has speech delays (because he's breastfed). He's skinny, doesn't eat well, doesn't like to stay with babysitters, sometimes wakes up crying from naps, prefers mommy to daddy (all because he's breastfed).
:

Can any of these "issues" be at all pinned on my breast (ouch!)?

Is there a true possible bad outcome of nursing beyond infancy?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
222 Posts
I am sorry you are having to deal with such boogery attitudes. You may want to point out that almost every great leader in human histiry was EBF or mention that EBF actually helps brain development so any delays would be worse if he were weaned already. Stand strong you are totally doing the right thing for your boy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,806 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvMyLittles
Stand strong you are totally doing the right thing for your boy.
I must be feeling especially vulnerable today. You just made me cry.

Thanks.
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,190 Posts
I am sorry Mama, that stinks that you are feeling this pressure.

The only negative I have heard relateds to extended nightime BF. According to my babysitter's dad, who is a dentist, older kids who nurse a great deal during the night are more prone to cavities than kids who don't (just like any kid who is drinking any non water thing in the night I suppose)

I have no idea if this is true or not. Most older kids that I know who are still nursing are not nursing very frequently during the nighttime hours so I am not sure how this pertains.

Good luck, I hope you find some ways to cope with this pressure without it making you crazy


ND
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,977 Posts
I'm really sorry to hear you are getting this pressure. Ugh!

I've never heard of one verified negative outcome. The dental thing is supposedly that breastmilk in contact with food particles on unbrushed or poorly brushed teeth can contribute to caries but so can formula, so the bottom line is brush their teeth well at bedtime and hope they got good tooth genes too. At any rate, a few cavities seems lower priority when compared to increasing your risk of a long list of diseases.. a lifelong effect.

Is the AAP full of skewed crazies to them? I seem to recall they actually say in one of their recommendations about length of nursing that there are no negative psychological effects. I don't think they felt it was necessary to say "and by the way it doesn't cause developmental delays and picky eating" though, lol.

I can tell you that what helps me most is to give myself the opportunity to be around like-minded people who understand why I am letting ds self-wean. It's like an antidote to the deliberate lack of knowledge out there.

And honestly, I think it would be completely appropriate for you to let anyone outside your marriage know that it isn't up for discussion.

I feel for you that this is a point of disagreement with your dh. I can't imagine having my dh disagree with my choices about how to proceed with the nursing relationship. I guess I'd have to do kinda what I did on the homebirth issue... stopped the conversation and told him he didn't marry me because I was an ignorant dingbat who would be careless with our children. So any further commentary based on that premise was not welcome.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,869 Posts
Quote:
Is there a true possible bad outcome of nursing beyond infancy?
Depends on the rest of your parenting.


But that would mean that it was the rest of the parenting, eh?


As far as I can tell, the problems we've had with our kids are normal ones which could/would happen regardless of how long they'd nursed.

The closeness we've got with them could happen without my having nursed them to self-weaning too, but I think allowing them to grow out of that need in their own time helped.

FWIW, DS is now 15, and tonight he certainly had more patience with DD than I did. Darned if I know where he learned it, but I'm surely glad he did. Must've done something correct I guess.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,869 Posts
What is it about this one parental decision that turns otherwise intelligent people into such idiots?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,977 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Meiri
FWIW, DS is now 15, and tonight he certainly had more patience with DD than I did. Darned if I know where he learned it, but I'm surely glad he did. Must've done something correct I guess.

That is so neat to hear, I have a 15 year old ds also and when I get frustrated with ds2 who is three, he will notice, step up and take ds2 off to do something else. I found a study once that showed teens who nursed longer rated their relationship with their mother as closer compared to other teens. He didn't nurse as long as his brother but still way longer than most kids. It must have worked in our cases!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,520 Posts
You are standing strong against the pressure and that is so important!! I caved in to it when my oldest DD was three months from her 3rd b-day. She hadn't nursed for a 24hr period, and because of pressure (mostly from in-laws), I decided to just quit, and I regretted it greatly. For several weeks she was SO upset, then sort of quietly gave up but seemed sad. Shortly after her 3rd b-day she came to me, crying hard, and said, "Please can I nurse you?" I started crying and pulled her into my lap. We then "secretly" nursed for another 3 months, then she quit on her own. I was so grateful for the redo, because I seriously felt that I had harmed her emotionally by making her quit cold turkey.

With my youngest DD I am letting her wean herself, regardless of what ANYONE says. It was a lesson learned the hard way. And we won't be weaning anytime soon - at 19 months she is still going strong.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top