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On Monday I go for a DNC. I am/was 13 weeks pregnant, but the baby stopped developing. Up until today I still had some nausea, tenderness, and frequent urination... It feels so strange to now have those symptoms going away- and knowing on Monday I won't have my little 'petit raisin' inside anymore. (My hubby named the baby that).<br><br>
Maybe I am just nervous. I thought I just wanted this to over with, but now I realize I want to treasure the last few days I have- even though to a doctor the pregnancy was over a while ago. To me, it still felt real because I had the symptoms still.<br><br>
I am so worried this will happen again. The doctor says he thinks 'it's just bad luck'. It just seems like so much can go wrong. I know many other mama's have had this happen, and I admire them for their strength and courage. I hope I will be able to put on my brave face too.
 

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I just want to send you hugs. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
This is the worst thing most women ever go through and I say that as an abuse survivor. There's something especially horrible about wanting whatever moments with your baby that you can manage to have during his short stay with you and wanting the experience overwith at the same time.<br><br>
Take it easy, be gentle with yourself, don't be afraid to grieve and to ackowledge that, even at 13 weeks (or earlier), that's your baby who you loved and wanted.<br><br>
You're in my thoughts.<br>
-MQ
 

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I'm sorry you're going through this. It's very hard. Be gentle on yourself and give yourself time to grieve. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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I understand exactly how you're feeling, and wish that you weren't going through this.<br><br>
My-j-angel is right...be gentle with yourself...but I want to add that its okay to not put on a brave face. This is quite easily the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and it still is, although not as hard as it was (I lost my baby 4 weeks ago and would have been 12 weeks tomorrow). Initially I attempted to be logical about it (statistically common, something wrong, etc), but it was my baby, my daughter's sibling, a child that I had hopes and dreams for, and I realized very quickly that she (I think she was a she) was and is very much worth mourning for.<br><br>
I hope that you can find peace this weekend, and strength on Monday. I'll be thinking about you.
 
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