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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I did this when I was pg with DD, too, only not quite so much. At the end of my pregnancy, about the last month or so, I found myself asking DH if he really thought I could handle another natural birth. (And I should note that neither one of my labors has ever been "hard".)

I find myself nervous/worried/apprehensive/concerned about labor this time. I'm going through this whole "what if I can't handle it? what if I can't do it?" montage in my head and it's driving me (and DH) nuts.

I KNOW I can do it. I've done it twice before! And we were going to have a homebirth this time until we discovered the two little bundles in there!

I think a lot of it is my nerves b/c I don't know when these girls are going to decide to come. If DH is at work, I'll have to call him and he'll have to rush home so we can get to the hospital. (They've asked me not to wait too long since DD's birth was only 4.5 hours and-according to them-sometimes twin labors start out a little different and go faster.)

I think, too, it's the fear of the unknown. Maybe this is most of it. I've never had two babies at once before and I feel like there's so much more that could go wrong. I've read lots of birth stories and talked to other twin moms, and that has helped to an extent.

Anyone else? What are you doing to keep yourself calm and collected? Anyone got any positive birth affirmations to toss my way?
 

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I'm there with you. Only for me, it's not having twins that's making it harder, it's not having dh come home until days before my edd and the uncertainty of how this birth will play out. I'm unsure of my own strength if dh is not there to be with me and help me through it. I'm a little scared to do this without him.

Not sure I'm really any help, though. I haven't been doing any positive birth affirmations. I just keep thinking through how easy and peaceful dd2's birth was how it really wasn't *painful* until the end. I keep telling myself that it's very possible for that to happen again with or without dh. Oh, and the fact that I didn't wake dh to go until my contractions were 2 min. apart and by my self check, I was probably 7 cm. dialated, so I figure if I labored alone that long before, I can do it again. Anyway, just wanted to add my empathy I guess. I'm sure you'll be fine.
 

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I think it is very normal to have self doubt (esp with two) , just keep the pos mantras going.. I know it must be hard bue WE all know you can do it!! I ahve been going between confident and totally freaked out too... I guess we will all just have to ride it out...

Oh... Sheeli's mom.. RE: self check in labor.. I want to do this so I sort of have an idea what is going on (under 2 hr labor and del with evan too) I kinda want a heads u(or DOWN actually!)... do you just sort of dive in and feel around??? and judge by feeling the head.. sorry if this is a stupid question but I'm not that experienced feeling that far up in there!! details?? care to share??
 

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Laura, you said you've done FAM right? So, do you know what your cervix feels like normally? Before it's dialated too much, it will feel similar, just maybe a tad more open, shorter maybe. You might wash your hands and feel for it now, just so you have a general idea of where it is. But do so gently, because cervical checks near the end can cause you to go into labor if it's not gentle. When you're more dialated, you will be able to feel a handful of baby head (covered by the membranes of course.) You are not suppose to check yourself or take a bath or anything after your water breaks, but then, you would know for sure that you needed to go in anyway.

My problem was that my contractions had been regular for hours, gradually getting closer together, but even at 2 min. apart, they weren't painful, so I wasn't convinced I was in labor. That's why I checked myself. I felt a huge amount of head and freaked out a bit. I had just stripped down to hop in the shower and see if it would help the contractions to go away and help me relax, but after checking, I decided to put my clothes back on and wake up dh. It was a 40 min. drive for us, plus we had to pack up dd and take her to a friends house. All in all, it took us 1.5 hours from that time that I woke up dh and called the mw, to the time we got there. So, I'm glad I checked and didn't wait any longer.
 

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Thanks Alisha... I was never greeat about the cervix check part of NFP (I know, that explains a lot!!!!!!!) but I do know what you mean I guess I jsut assumed it would feel way different in labor.. which I guess it does,, I think I'll wait a few weeks to check since I would be up a creek at work if I went into labor sooner than three weeks from now and I really need four weeks... so in three weeks I'll doa little poking around!
 

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I am nervous about labor too. I just talked to DH about this last night, in fact.

I am trying to figure out if natural childbirth is harder (mentally) the first time or the second time. The first time, you're all gung-ho, but you don't know what to expect, no matter how prepared you are, so it can be shocking. The second time, you know what you are in for, which for me is not helpful (DD was posterior and at some point my head started spinning around), but on the other hand, I have been through it before and KNOW I can do it again. I guess I feel like I have nothing to prove this time and that I will be more willing in that vulnerable state to accept drugs. Does that make any sense?

I think all this nervousness is our minds getting ready for a big job! It seems like a good thing to me.
 

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I am getting nervous too! And no twins here. I know what to expect on one hand and know nothing on the other.

I am afraid I will be alone when I go into labor and not know what to do while my husband is traveling home and MW is traveling my way. I could be alone for a couple ogf hours.

I am scared that I won't recognize danger like a prolapsed cord by myself (first homebirth).

I am afraid the water labor/birth won't be as wonderful as I hope. I am afraid I will have back labor. I am afraid I will completely lose my mind with pain.

I am totally freaking and perhaps (for me) that's because I had a handle on it until I faced losing my homebirth (and still could lose it if I develop something like pre-e) so I am just sort of flailing here.

I need to pull it together and start visualizing again and just take one day at a time.

(And look at all the I's down the left side. Wow. Talent!)
 

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Lindsey, something my doula recommends and something I've done quite a lot in the last in other situations (job interviews, thesis defense, first dates
) is positive visualization/mental rehearsal. Just thinking about the process, what will probably happen, what you will do, the comfort measures you will try. If you have a good imagination, then you can sort of put yourself into the situation ahead of time... assuming you can do this without scaring yourself. If you can picture yourself coping ahead of time, I think it makes it easier to actually cope when you get to the real thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissakc View Post
I am trying to figure out if natural childbirth is harder (mentally) the first time or the second time. The first time, you're all gung-ho, but you don't know what to expect, no matter how prepared you are, so it can be shocking. The second time, you know what you are in for, which for me is not helpful
Yeah, I think I know what you mean... I remember feeling surprised at how painful the contractions were getting as I really hit active labor. They pulled the plug on my labor while I was in transition, so that is where I left off. It's hard to have that as my last memory of active labor. I'm trying to focus on the fact that I made it that far before, and I am more prepared mentally this time around (I was just not ready to be in labor last time). I'm not panicking yet... I don't think.

I've been trying to think of things that I will focus on in labor to help me through... my son, keeping my jaw relaxed, different yoga poses. I've been thinking about salmon a lot, too, which sounds weird.
I work in a town that has a huge salmon hatchery and every year they swim up the creek to spawn. I've been going to watch them swimming a couple times a week... partly because they are just amazing to watch, and partly because heck, if they can swim 80+ miles upstream for weeks without eating anything to procreate, then I have it easy!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Enjoying these responses very much!

Erica--Your advice is very helpful! I'm definitely going to take time each day to visualize my ideal birth. Love the salmon analogy!

Melissa--Your point makes a lot of sense. For me, I found my 2nd birth to be MUCH easier than my first BECAUSE I knew what to expect and that what was happening was normal. I felt in control.
 

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I'm actually not that nervous about labor because of last time... I made it through my awful, long, horrid induction with all its cascading interventions and pushed out my 10-pounder with only minimal tearing.. I'm being induced more than two weeks earlier this time (41.5 weeks last time, 39 weeks this time), so I'm sure the baby won't be any bigger, and I'm sure my labor can't possibly be as long this time (40 hours last time).. So since I made it through all that I was put through last time, I know I can do it again. And probably won't have it nearly as bad for various reasons anyway.

Lindsey, one of my good friends gave birth to identical twin boys last year. Both were over 7 pounds, and she had them vaginally with no pain medication! It can be done! You can do it!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by *Lindsey* View Post
Erica--Your advice is very helpful! I'm definitely going to take time each day to visualize my ideal birth. Love the salmon analogy!
I'm glad it was helpful... I was worried after I posted that it was too pat and slick, considering I have only been through half a labor before, where you've been through two! Glad I could give you a couple more tools to throw in the box.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Great point, Maggie! You definitely can do it!
And thanks for sharing the story about your friend, very inspiring.

Erica
 
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