[Ceinwen]

I recently found out my dp and I are expecting babe number two.<br><br>
We are both very much looking forward to a home waterbirth.<br><br>
Having said that, with my first dd (now four years old) I had a fourth degree tear with a hematoma and almost bled out (hospital birth with midwife).<br><br>
Anyone want to tell me anything really reassuring about this not happening again, so I feel better? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:

 

[Rockies5]

why did you tear? what was done durring the birth and what position were you in for pushing? HOw did you push?<br><br>
Tears are avoidable, esp. one that drastic-YIKES and I'm sorry, mama.

 

[Ceinwen]

Thank you for replying! I was starting to think I'd asked something taboo. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
My first birth was a midwife attended hospital birth; it was intervention free, but I ended up pushing on my back and my dd came very quickly.<br><br>
That was what they told me - she came too fast and I didn't have time to stretch.<br><br>
Of course the OB who did the repairs was a complete ass and kept telling me I might end up with a colostomy or septicemia... It was a nightmare!<br><br>
Anyway, I'm really hoping to be able to listen to MY body this time around.

 

[Rockies5]

Absolutley! Are you birthing with the same MW this time around, or will you choose other assistants?<br><br>
Either way having enough support for YOUR wishes is essential<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
YOu didn't ask something taboo, but maybe asking what you could do to avoid tearing in Birth and Beyond would have gotten you more replies. YOur post just looked so lonley I had to answer<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
If you haven't already got it, Birthing From Within is an EXCELLENT book, both for preparing youself and your partner and working through any lingering fears. I'm just assuming, because if I had torn badly I know I would have some trust issues at least.<br><br>
I'm so sorry you felt mistrated by the attending<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[jee'smom]

I agree with the positioning thing, and doing what feels right for you also. I tore in three spots (little tears) with a preemie- 5lb. 9oz. I should've NEVER tore with a baby that small, I don't care how fast she came out!!! Had I not been flat on my back with my legs pushed up against my freakin' nose, (stretching my perineum too tightly) I would've NEVER tore! I'm doing things MY WAY this time!!!!! Good luck!