[PGNPORTLAND]

hi all
looking for any and all advice or opinions. my dd is almost 7 months old, EBF and I havn't "really" started solids yet. what I mean by that is that she has tasted/played with a mushed up avacado twice and tried some water out of a sippy cup a few times. Each time I have tried these things I feel a terrible sadness in my heart. I think I feel this way because I see starting solids as the begining of the end of the incredible, beautiful, wonderful, and easy breastfeeding relationship I know I am extremely lucky and fortunate to have. I try to separate my emotions from it. Is she "ready" for solids? She sits up beautifully, shows lots of interest in food, doesn't seem to have the pushing out reflex. We do not have a history of allergies in our family.

I don't know what I am asking here. Should I wait? Should I start? I know nutritionally she will be fine on BM for a year but what about developmentally? I mean, is this the time for leaning to pick up food and eat it? Also, if I do give her food, is it better to feed her with a spoon or let her pick it up with her fingers and try to put it in her mouth (and hair, and ears

)? If I wait for a year to start solids, will she have trouble with the mechanics of eating? Am I doing her a disservice.

Have others felt this way? I kind of think it's for my own reasons I am not starting solids. I just love to nurse. I know I can and will still nurse for a long time after starting solids but it just seems like a big change from baby to big girl. Although I hope to have another baby, it's possible dd might be my one and only and I am trying to cherish this time and it is already going so fast. yesterday I built the high chair and let her sit in it and play with empty cups and bowls and it almost made me cry. On the other hand, dh and I are big foodies. I love and get great pleasure out of eating delicious food and want to share that with my daughter too.

The last thing I want to ask about is what you think my pediatrician will say. she will have her six month visit at seven months (we were out of town) and I know I will be asked how solids are going. (they had said I could start at 4 months and I said no way. I don't really care what they say, I'll do what I decide is right, but I just want to be prepared in case they give me misinformation.

If anyone else waited - how long did you wait and when you did start solids, did you have any problems from waiting.

Do you think it's bad I'm delaying solids mainly for my own reasons and because I think my milk is still best unacompanied?

thanks

 

[PGNPORTLAND]

hello?

 

[beachbaby]

can't type much (sleeping baby in arms), but wanted to say i felt that way, too. i was especially sad about dd no longer being ebf since we had a rocky start to bf...even the solid food poo made me sad

i'm sure others will chime in, but i think many of us have the same feelings...

 

[MamaRabbit]

DS is 11mo old and only EBF. I do NOT see anything developmentally wrong with having delayed. Still has developed the pincer grasp. Can definitely "feed" himself, such as toys, paper, anything DD drops. He does sit in the highchair at supper time now (as of last week!) and just plays with a toy. I gave him a piece of mushy steamed cauliflower and he just gummed it, played with it, slobbered it everywhere. He's more interested in the play part of eating right now.

And what to say to your doctor when asked about starting solids? If you think the doctor will be negative and pushy if you say not yet, just say you have. That's what I told my doctor. "We've started some, but not too much yet." Which is true, since you've done a tiny bit. "I still want breastmilk as the main nutrition."

 

[SweetPotato]

I know just how you feel! My dd is almost 9 months and we still don't do muchinthe way of solids. I've been offering her mashed banana, avocado, or applesauce maybe 2 or 3x a week since 6 months, but she still has a serious gag reflex if I spoon feed her and gets very little in her mouth if she self-feeds. I'm taking a rather relaxed approach-- figuring that offering her different flavors and textures gives her the opportunity to learn and explore at her own pace-- if he chooses to wear her food instead of eating it, that's cool with me. I recal my ped. mentioning a "window" for learning to eat solids, but (while I do have great resepect for her expertise on many things), I just don't feel like the calendar is a better guide than my baby herself. I mean- have you ever met a grown-up who didn't know how to swallow applesauce because his mom missed the window?!

Also like you, I'm constantly aware that dd might be my only child- and I do think that I'm less likely than others perhaps to push her to grow up any faster than necessary (the thought of her deciding to wean early is a fear of mine, and might also play into our approach with solids). I wouldn't feel right in holding her back, though, if she seemed very ready- I truly do think that she'll let you know. If you offer solids and she's able and eager to self-feed, then I think offering more would be appropriate-- but it doesn't have to mean that you suddenly start dropping nursing sessions in favor of 3 square meals- I'd probably offer more little tastes of different things, so that she's getting the learning experience while still getting most of her nutrition from you.

(if it makes you feel any better, when I asked my mom how old I was when I started solids, she replied that "by the time you were interested in solids, you were old enough to make your own sndwiches" - so I'm in no hurry

)

 

[runes]

i felt the same way when dd was 7 months. she was definitely interested in watching us eat because it was a novel activity, but when i offered her food, she really didn't want it at all. on the first afternoon i tried to give her some banana, she refused it, but then a minute later i offered her one of the babysafe mesh feeders with a cube of frozen breastmilk in it and SHE LOVED IT!! so it was very clear to me that she still much preferred breastmilk at that time (and secretly my mama's heart leapt with joy!)

dd just turned 9 months and just this past week, she has been much more interested in the food that we've been eating. it's hard to describe but i could tell that her focus shifted from "hey, what are you doing?" and watching us to "hey, i want some of that" and opening her mouth.

so cute. so just this week i've been giving her table food that's appropriate for her and she is just loving it. we are still delaying grains and dairy (both dh and i are allergic people so we don't want to take a chance) but we are freely giving her most veggies and fruits (of course no citrus/strawberries for allergy reasons). it is so much fun now, and i no longer have that feeling of sadness and, dare i say it, dread?? about introducing solids. i think in a way it was my mamas intuition guiding me towards waiting, because i no longer have the trepidation anymore.

by the way, even with the fun with solids, dd still loves her mamas milk!

also, we just went to the ped yesterday (we don't really do well baby visits because we don't vax, we just went in to check in with him) and he reiterated that breastmilk is the best nutrition for them until 12 months plus!! so don't worry about there being some magic 'window' of when to introduce solids. all in due time. and clearly dd is getting enough nutrition, she is so healthy, has never been sick and she's in the 95th percentile for height and weight.

 

[chiro_kristin]

oooh, I totally understand that feeling of sadness you get about your baby eating solids and (eventually much later) BFing less.

Your baby is fine on BM alone. The best way to start them is just as you have described: Give them some chunks of soft foods (banana, avocado, steamed cooled veggies) and let them self feed. They will play and taste for quite a while before they begin to eat, maybe months. They do not need to be spoonfed pureeds.

DS is almost 12 months and is still in the playing stages. Some babies are ready earlier, some later, and there is nothing wrong with that. I know of a baby who was EBF for more than 2 years, and that was what was best for that baby!

 

[alegna]

Is your baby showing all the readiness signs for solids?

sitting unassisted
grabs food
can put things in mouth
no tongue thrust

If so, when you feel like it, put some bits of food on a tray and see what happens. My guess is that it will be quite awhile before he's really eating.

-Angela

 

[Marlisesmom]

Hi,

I personally don't think that you have to give a baby solids just because they show signs that they can tolerate them. My daughter is almost 11 months old and we haven't started her on solids. I don't think there's any rush and people love to rush into it because they must think it's fun to play dolls and feed the baby. I think it will be a huge hassle to be boiling her meals. Most importantly though, is that breast milk is the ULTIMATE food. Why mess with that? It's an incredible opportunity to bond, it's healthy, and it doesn't create stinky poo...OK, now there's a selfish reason to not start solids- stinky poo!!

My pediatrician is very mainstream and didn't bat an eye when I said that I want to hold off on solids until 12 months.

My advice is- put away your little spoons, bowls, food processor and jars. Enjoy breastfeeding while you can. You can always START solids, but you can never "unstart" once you have started. If you think your baby is getting too thin, you can change your mind. I have several friends with babies 10-11 months (same birthing class) and none of them have started solids...but I'm in a crunchy part of the country. My one friend didn't start solids until her daughter was 23 months. Good luck.

 

[Dido]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marlisesmom Enjoy breastfeeding while you can. You can always START solids, but you can never "unstart" once you have started.

Well...sure...you can't "start" twice - but unless your DC just LOVES solids right away (which is not really that common for EBF-to-6-months babies) you can easily stop. And if you're giving solids, it's not like you stop enjoying breastfeeding. It's not like you even have to cut down on breastfeeding.

Before we started solids I felt a little mournful about it, like the OP. Now that I realize that 8.5 month DD is still nursing like a maniac and eats like a teaspoon a day if that, I realize it's no big deal.

My advice would be to relax, delay further if you want, but try to avoid a big emotional build-up about the whole issue, because you are most likely destined for a major anti-climax.

 

[millionmom]

I started around 7 months! I know what you mean about not wanting to make that transition, but if she's ready, she's ready. And I have to say it is really enjoyable to see you child enjoying food along with you at dinner time! I was scared and thought it would be a hassle, but it really is fun!
I started off with spoon feeding, and he let me know when he was ready for finger foods. After a month or two of spoon feeding, and a little experrimenting with finger foods, he now is almost exclusively feeding himself. I do dip a piece of bread or rice cake in some pureed vegies, only because it's been difficult to get the hang of steaming veggies...a lot of them are stringy and too textury for him.

as far as breastfeeding goes, all is fine there along with the solids. Your milk changes with her age, so it's amazing that I can bf ds, and then feed him solids and he hasno problem with that! The breastfeeding relationship seems to be getting more and more enjoyable as he gets older (even though he's biting me now and again!)

Anyways, good luck I hope you start enjoying this new and exc iting phase in her life!!

 

[Jillie]

Another slow food introducer here. I'm not in any hurry for those nasty dipes. He is only sometimes interested and I'm not worried at all. They take thing at their own pace and will definately learn to eat! Go with your gut.

 

[damyen's mommy]

Just wanted to give this thread a bump for those questioning starting solids. I am just throwing out the books an letting my babe decide. She plays in it and if it reaches her mouth it does.

 

[UptownZoo]

I so understand the sadness! It so wonderful, to watch your baby thrive on nothing but what your body magically provides for him!

I started my youngest on solids at around 7 months and he had tiny bits here and there, but didn't really have a lot of interest until 14-15 months. Then he started having meals when we had them. He still nursed (lots!) until he was almost 3. He eventually enjoyed his food, but was passionate about "munga" for a good long time (OK, not quite as long as I'd hoped, but still.).

Parenting is such a sad/exciting process of letting go, starting with birth. I sent my eldest child off to his first day of middle school yesterday, and all I could think of was him as a baby/toddler/preschooler. Motherhood is bittersweet, no way around it.

Follow your heart. Know, though, that your baby is going to grow and change and sometimes (like now) it will be sad. Totally normal.