[RainbowsMum]

I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I figured some of you with teenagers would maybe know something....
(If theres a better place to ask something like this feel free to move it to there....)

I have a problem with my partner using my computer to look at pornography - Already having gotten a virus from a site he visited a month ago and had the "Dont you dare look at that on my computer again" convo when it was fixed, I thought the problem was over (I do have an anti virus, it somehow was conveniently disabled at the time). I have recently noticed that he's been deleting the history on the computer after he's been on it (I notice because I do the same thing - see if I don't he can read the names of all the threads and stuff that I read and post on from here and as a lot are on single parenting etc... I don't want to cause arguments so I just delete my history) so anyway, I've noticed that he's been deleting the history, which I found to be odd, so I looked in the temporary internet files / cookies, which as some of you may know, is basically like a second history, tells you all the web pages, all the stuff thats loaded onto that page etc... And sure enough he'd been going to websites again

it's not that I have a problem that he's looking at it, cos I don't care about that, it's the fact that he's doing it after it has already caused my computer damage, and I've asked him not to look at the stuff on my computer and he agreed not to, and the fact he's hiding it as well, so he definatly knows he shouldn't be doing it. So, the long story leads me to my question: I have heard about Net Nanny, which is some sort of programme to stop children etc looking at pornography and stuff on a computer, I was wondering if anyone had it, or knew anything about it. I don't want to lock down my whole computer, I just want to stop him accessing porn sites from it... So yeah... Anyone know anything about it????

 

[JustJamie]

Set up an administrative password on your internet options.

In Internet Explorer:

Go Tools, Internet Options, Content, click Enable, select each of the options (Language, Nudity, Sex, Violence) and adjust the slide bar accordingly.

Click Apply, then Okay, and then you'll be prompted to establish a password. Whenever someone attempts to access a site that is not approved-content, they're asked to enter the password. If they don't know it, the site won't load.

 

[Yoshua]

why don't you get separate computers then?

You both are doing things on the computer you don't want the other to know about. It would make more sense to just have separate computers.

And lets be honest, he doesn't need a top of the line computer to browse for porn.

 

[Yoshua]

as for 'blocking sites' to me that is not treating eachother as equals. I mean, if you really don't have an issue with the porn it is still a form of parenting and punishing him.

You both should be able to be upfront about this, and if the computer is YOURS and not the 'families' then he should respect that you don't want it broken.

hence the dual computer set up. Really isnt that expensive, can get a new desktop for 400$ from dell and make 20$ a month payments.

 

[Pandora114]

Tell him strait up, that his surfing can and will cause irreperable damage to your PC and will neccessitate the need for a new one.

Stress the DAMAGE and the MONEY that it will cost to get your PC fix because he chooses to surf those sites without the benefit of an antivirus protection (since he obviously disables it)

Some Virii don't just infect the Hard drive neccesitating a format/reinstall (therefore wiping *EVERYTHING on your PC* I would burn some backups of some files like family photos and whatnot NOW!) but acctually infect the boot sector, and acctually become irreperable as time rolls on because it can and will infect the coding of the antivirus software, and THAT my friend is when you need a new PC.

And Yosua: It's not the fact that she has an issue with porn, it's the fact she wants to protect what she has (her computer) From an obviously *no offense OP* Computer STUPID person who thinks that viruses are nothing but an easy fix.

Ya dont mess with virii...pr0n sites have tons of virii...He disables the Norton he gets the PC infected. What if he gets a boot sector virus that Norton can't catch because he turns it off? What then? Poor OP is out a couple of grand having to get a new PC because of her husband's idiocity.

And Dell sucks dude...Their customer support stinks, they have an open case warrentee (which means you have to send the damn PC back to them, you cover the postage) when something goes wrong...)

Your best bet OP is to hit up craigslist and get him a dinky Pentium 2 (Gateway made an Imac ripoff one piece)with 98 SE so he can browse pr0n and infect to his hearts content. That way you will only have one piece to drop kick out the door instead of the whole tower/monitor setup.

ETA: When you network the PC's through a router, I would make it so you cant enable file sharing or print sharing. Viruses can travel real nicely that way too...If he wants to print something, he uses YOUR computer to type it and print it.

 

[Yoshua]

i got that she was trying to protect. I thought that is what my messages conveyed.

buy a new pc, problem solved. he wont be able to screw hers up and it is his own problem if he messes his up.

if buying a new pc isnt an option I still don't think net nanny will fix anything, If my spouse decided to attempt to lock down the pc, it would just mean I would find funner ways to circumvent her.

Need to be upfront about these things or else they turn into silent wars. If you just slap net nanny on there he will figure his retaliation will be justified and won't tell you it's coming.

bad situation to be in, and a relationship isn't worth a computer.

 

[Sharlla]

Actually if you intall Linux as your OS you shouldn't have any virus problems at all. Most versions of linux is free and there are easier to install versions for the less computer literate or you could have a techy friend install it. That is the cheapest route anyway.

 

[Pandora114]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sharlla Actually if you intall Linux as your OS you shouldn't have any virus problems at all. Most versions of linux is free and there are easier to install versions for the less computer literate or you could have a techy friend install it. That is the cheapest route anyway.

Yeah, but then her husband wont be able to use it at all, because it takes more than half a computer saavy brain to work Linux, even the basic flavours. Installing programs and extentions are a PITA as well because you have to compile and all that. (Has little faith because of the description the OP gave of DISABLING the Antivirus while surfing adult sites..that's just a sheer act of stupidity in and of itself...)

And if any one of them games, FORGET It. Linux doesn't support any of the games out there. Unless you get a windows emulator which takes up more memory than you want compromising the performance of the game.

Of course she could make a dual boot system...but then her husband will just click "Boot in Windows" and mess everything up anyway.

Linux isn't gonna solve the problem here. If anything it could make it just as bad if not worse if she installed Net Nanny.

Linux is a GREAT OS dont get me wrong....But one has to evaluate the umm PC IQ of the users in the house before putting it on....or else you'll have everyone gong "How do I do this how do I do that how how how help me help me AAAAAAAH"

Here's an idea. Get a MAC.

 

[Clarinet]

I agree with Yoshua on this one. I won't parent my husband. If you really don't have a problem with the porn itself, offer him an alternative. Purchase a couple magazines or a movie or subscribe to a reputable website and tell him in order to avoid viruses, please visit only this site. If he really can't limit himself to this, he may have a problem that netnanny won't help.

 

[mommy68]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yoshua why don't you get separate computers then? You both are doing things on the computer you don't want the other to know about. It would make more sense to just have separate computers.

I agree.

: My husband and I have separate computers. If you don't have a problem with him looking at porn then help him out with finding subscriptions to magazines or porn sites that are safer to view.

 

[kittywitty]

Dude, are we married to the same man????

I used something like Net Nanny. I forget the name. It caused a whole lot of problems for me not even being able to look up kids coloring pages, but still allowing porn to pop up on google. So they don't work really well.

I do consider it parenting my dh. Because if you repeatedly ask him to stop because your computer is getting infested and is malfunctioning, there is a PROBLEM. I had to reformat my old computer twice and spent days at a time every week fixing it because my dh disrespcted me. I would BEG him to please find a different way and to stop ruining my computer (which I HAD to have for my classes for school). He would turn me down for the computer. So if you are going to act like a 14 year old, you are going to get treated like one, IMO.

I think that it is laughable that your dh hasn't thought of another way to look at porn and that it would be your responsibility to find and buy him materials when he is obviously disrespecting you. Tell him to grow up and find it another way. He's a big boy, right, according to other people on here?

 

[kittywitty]

And, I'm sorry. Maybe it's that I'm poor, but buying even a $400 computer just for porn seems like there would be a severe problem going on. I would seek a counselor if you need a $400 piece of equipment to browse for porn.

 

[sweetpea333]

my hubby looks at porn, i dont even bother trying to tell him not to anymore or do anything about... but it still makes me wanna uke

 

[Yoshua]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnw826 And, I'm sorry. Maybe it's that I'm poor, but buying even a $400 computer just for porn seems like there would be a severe problem going on. I would seek a counselor if you need a $400 piece of equipment to browse for porn.

what kind of severe problem are you referring to?

not everyone finds viewing porn a problem. And I spend about 2000 every 2 years on a new PC anyways.... but that is just me. I also, am not rich. But it is a priority for me seeing as I work in the PC field and test many programs.

400$ on a new low end PC is a drop in the bucket in comparison to the possible repairs on a better computer, and the 400$ on counseling? coulda been used on the PC and everyone would be happy.

 

[kittywitty]

I never said I had a problem with the porn itself, though there is plenty out there that makes me wanna puke. I do know that the internet porn out there is 99% viruses and going through that much money just to look at it is outrageous. Buy a friggin dvd if you are that desperate, but destroying hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of equipment just to look at it on the net is ridiculous IMO. Which is not everybody's. But this isn't an argument as to whether porn is bad. This is about helping the OP deal with the cards she was dealt and giving her support. As I have been there, I have given my opinion. And I am SO not getting into this with you, as we all know how that ends up.

 

[Pandora114]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetpea333 my hubby looks at porn, i dont even bother trying to tell him not to anymore or do anything about... but it still makes me wanna uke

Yeah but it comprises your system's security. He can be picking up many nasty little PC diseases that can compromise your personal information.

Seriously, You could have trojans and other ilk creeping around on your PC...

Trojans are one of the main methods of identity theft eh? Yeah...

Trojans picked up from pr0n sites.

Instead of focusing on the moral objection, focus on the security aspect.

Viruses cost money...lots of money.

If your hubbys want to surf teh pr0n, and you dont want to comprimise your security *and are sick of the fighting about it..because they are too thick to realize the virus/security threat their vice causes), just download torrents, scan the files with your antivirus software before watching them.

That way you A: wont get a virus, B: can delete the movie right after and C: dont have to worry about buying a totally seperate PC.

 

[Marco Esquandolas]

coming out of lurkdom to say that I like irony. Anyone else find it funny that even net porn causes viruses?????? BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

:

 

[Pandora114]

Quote:

Originally Posted by phishmama coming out of lurkdom to say that I like irony. Anyone else find it funny that even net porn causes viruses?????? BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA :

Trust me, I have been trying SO hard not to be "explicit" in my posting about this and keeping it just plain facts, and not trying to be "punny"

Lets just say...Damnit! I can't use a Paris Hilton joke can I??

*sigh*

 

[Marco Esquandolas]

spanky time!!!! How funny is it NOW that we at mdc have deemed that his name?!!!! agggghhhhhh Here he is!!!!! laughup

ohhh, can't take it. spanky on a porn thread. :

(sorry to derail)

but seriously, to OP-b/c I feel badly for cracking jokes on a serious thread. A little porn is a-ok when it is OK btwn both parties in the couple. If NOT ok, by one party, then you could look at it from everything from cheating to just not respecting your wishes to whatever/however you wanna look at it. It IS a two way street, relationships. Porn alone is probably not the problem, unless he has uhhh "sex" issues. You guys need to get to the root of the problem (ohhh, geez, and now my head is in the gutter again, over root, as I still have explicit in quotes in my head....me going to bow out now and sincere apologies, but if you did at least crack a grin at all over this post and resisted the urge to throttle me, then all was not for naught.

)

 

[kittywitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pandora114 Trust me, I have been trying SO hard not to be "explicit" in my posting about this and keeping it just plain facts, and not trying to be "punny" Lets just say...Damnit! I can't use a Paris Hilton joke can I?? *sigh*

:

That's hot.