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Never heard of a 2+ yr old asking to nurse, it's the mom keeping it going

1391 Views 20 Replies 17 Participants Last post by  NoraB
Ladies, let me vent a moment... I just had the worst conversation with my mother where she threw every cliche in the book at me against my continuing to nurse my ds til he weans himself.

"Is it for him or for you? Cuz I've never heard of a 2 yr old asking to nurse, it's their mom encouraging it"

'"Once he's got a mouthful of teeth, wears real underwear and shoes...."

"our society thinks its gross, and you live here, so..."

Oh there was more but I'm to disgusted to go on....
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I get all that from my MIL. Ignore her, you know you're doing the best thing for your DS. Good for you.
i'm sorry - its tough to hear those things from someone you love. if you don't think she's willing to have her mind changed or at least be open to hearing how you feel, tell her it isn't up for discussion anymore, and end the coversation anytime it's brought up.
My MIL kind of goes with whatever I have decided to do and she tries to support me, but I think she forgets what she says because she sure does contradict herself alot. A while ago we were talking about bf'ing beyond one and she said it was discusting and her sister did it...and on...and on. Then this past weekend I told her I was trying to bf again and will most likely continue well past one, she thought it was great.
I know how she really feels and I know she'll be discussing with others, but as long as she does'nt discuss it with me then I'm ok with that. I think everyone should be supportive wether it's just to be nice or how they really feel.
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*blech* Ignorant ppl can be so irritating.
When I went back to work, my dad was on my case to wean (my mom is deceased, so I don't know what she would have thought or said).

He was encouraging me to "make my life easier" by weaning. I said, "maybe nursing IS easier. And anyhow, since you have never nursed a child, and none of your children had been nursed, and you have never known any child this age to be nursed, how would you know whether it made my life easier or not????"

He kind of thought for a brief moment, then laughed and said "I never could tell you anything" with a grin on his face. He never said much more about it - he knew he couldn't!

Velcro... are you sure we aren't sisters??? Because your mother sounds exactly like mine (see my post... vent/b*tch about family)

I'm learning that they can't change their views and that's fine. She can complain till she is blue in the face, fact is... I'm nursing my DD till she doesn't want it anymore!

I often wonder if I'm met with so much resistence because she is riddled with guilt for not BFing me... who knows.

I feel your pain!!!
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Milk Pride is one of those issues that can cause all kinds of nasty comments. It seems we can support others as long as they do not bf any longer than we did. Then somehow its not nice,kids is too old,will become dependent,will cause cavities and all sorts of other dire predictions. Tell your Mom its really hard to con a kid into bf when they have had enough. When our three year old asked to bf while wearing roller skates, I suggested she make up her mind'cause babies nurse & big girls roller skate. She laughed and went down the hall to find her sibs. I was ok as her bio sibs had not bf longer than a year but it took me a long time to make an equal amount of milk for her as she was adopted. Fortunately we lived across the country from our relatives
who are all dedicated bottle feeders and their Milk Pride begins to run amock on day 1...
You can tell her my 3 1/2 year old still asks to bf.

What the heck do "real" underwear have to do with it??

A lot of people think it's "gross" to bf at ANY age. I guess we should all just ff then, huh, since that's the society we live in?
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Lots of hugs to velcromom!

Please just tell her that it is no longer up for discussion!
One of my sisters and I have went rounds and rounds with this. After many tears on my part I finally told her that. I know how she feels about it but it's my babies and our family life and if she can't be supportive then she is to just stay out of it.period. She has tried bring it up lightly with jokes here and there with my new babe. Usually all it takes is a look from me and she stops, If she doesn't I leave the room or politaly get off the phone with her asap. I will agrue or defiend my nursing my babes, or any other of my 'strange' parenting ways with my family any more.
You know what you are doing is right for you and your dc!
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Thank you all, it's so nice to be able to talk with moms who know just what I am going through.

Mum 2 4, I love the roller skate story! You're right, it's impossible to coerce a child of any age to nurse, I wonder what in the world people are imagining we do to "make" them keep on nursing?!

I just hate the "this is our society" comment, our society here in America seems to really like drugs and violence and fatty foods, so by that 'logic' I guess I shouldn't be telling my kids not to smoke, drink, get high, or fight or eat frenchfries for breakfast, either!

Then there's the "Other kids will make fun of him at preschool" comment, which my mom says she has seen happen to a friends' children who nursed past 3. I just told her kids at that age will find something to tease each other about no matter what, and it's not a valid excuse to wean.

But in the end, I agree that it's time to make this a closed subject between her and I, as much as possible. I dread visiting her during the next year or two, she has also said that if ds is still nursing,"I just hope you do it in private".
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What the heck do "real" underwear have to do with it??
I hear ya. Total ignorance. Like the "if they can ask for it they're too old." Well, technically a newborn asks for nursing by licking it's lips. Stupid ppl! *grr*

Milk Pride
OOOo! I like that term! LOL

Then there's the "Other kids will make fun of him at preschool" comment, which my mom says she has seen happen to a friends' children who nursed past 3.
Yeah, b/c that's what should dictate our parenting? It's sad that anybody would even suggest that.
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I'll invite her to my house. My two year old asks all the time.

And what's with the underwear comment? My food and comfort preferences don't change based on what's covering my tush. Hmmm, today I've got Victoria's Secret low-riders, guess I'll have chocolate cappucinno. The granny undies, though-- those are strictly a smoothie item.

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I can't get that picture out of my head!
so today I'm wearing Jockey bikinis, perhaps Gatorade?
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aw i'm sorry you're going through that. i'm starting to get it a bit from my mom too, but i have decided that if she is open to hearing my reasons, i will give them to her, and if all she wants to do is show me how uncomfortable she is with it, and how weird it is for her, then it is not up for discussion. i will discuss it in a mature manner, but i will not be browbeat about it, or made to feel guilty about it, or be criticized for it. if the conversation takes that turn, i will no longer talk about it.

can you imagine if we let what the rest of the society we lived in dictate our parenting choices? yikes.
gee, yana's 2 1/2 and asks sometimes. And I'm definity not encouraging it since I was under the impression she weaned like a year ago.just out of the blue "mommy I want some of your milka milka"
I always loved the comback that goes

"yes my ds is Weaning right now!"

You see this "weaning" is of course child led weaning so you're not lying

And by the time she's heard this for the next yr or so she'll get bored asking and he can continue to "wean" himself for the next 2 yrs without headache from her! LOL!

I had a friend who thought she was so smart to try and get me to wean my dd, she ended up not staying my firend for much longer as I was getting really perterbed at the whole thing. I think she was just fed a lot of misinformation about how children should wean if they want to learn independance etc, etc, etc.

My dd went on to nurse until 5

She is at 7 (going on 17!) the MOST outgoing and independant little lady around!
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I love your sig velcromom!!!

Changing the ingredients of formula and claiming it's now more like breastmilk is like changing your oven temperature from 350 to 250 and saying, "There, now it's more like a refrigerator!"

"mom, when people push you to change your beliefs, are you thankful or resentful? want to guess how it makes me feel?"

"Mom, it has become obvious you don't support me here. I'm not changing. so lets not discuss it anymore."
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