[MotherofZion]

My MIL and I have always gotten along well. I'm a stepmom to her grandkids and she has always been respectful of me and my husband's parenting style without stepping on our toes. Normally she only offers advice when you ask for it, and even then she doesn't really tell you what is on her mind...IMO. But every since I had my baby she has been really letting her opinion be known. I don't remember a lot of specific things, but the most recent thing happened yesterday. My daughter is 8 weeks and she is a little chubby baby, but not overweight or anything, she just has really big cheeks. Anyway, my mother-in-law has been trying to get me to give her cereal every since she was 2 or 3 weeks old. She said I need to start putting some in her bottles. Well, I just ignored her because she was way to young IMO. Anyway, the other day we were over visiting and everyone was commenting on how much she has grown. Then my MIL said, yeah I told you to give her cereal...I don't know why you won't listen to me. Then I said..well because she's not ready for cereal yet. Then she said...she's past ready. I'm not really the confrontational type so I just dropped it at that. I mean, my daughter normally drinks 3-6 oz bottles of breastmilk, she goes 2-4 hours between feedings and on a good night she'll sleep 5 or 6 hours straight. Plus I feel like this is my child and ultimately I am responsible for her well being.

So I guess my question is am I being too sensitive? Has anyone else had a change of relationship w/their once they had kids? How should I deal w/ future conflicts in a way that is respectful but lets her know that I am the parent of my child? I really want to keep things kosher because we have a good relationship.

 

[alegna]

No you're not being too sensitive. Draw the line now. Let her know that you're the mom. All information now says NO solids before 6 months- minimum. And at that, cereal is usless filler best skipped.

-Angela

 

[Ellp]

Yup, I agree with the PP. You have to make it clear that you and your Dh are the parents and it is you guys who will be doing the parenting. Best to nip the advice giving in the bud before it spills into other topics of child rearing. I've BTDT with my folks and it does create some awkwardness, but at least they know who's boss when it comes to Dd.

 

[PancakeGoddess]

It reminds me of my parents, who think my 3-week old needs some kind of metal brace on his feet because they turn in a little, the way they were in utero. Hello?!! My siblings "needed" this, therefore my baby must need it. It doesn't matter that every modern expert would disagree (just as with giving solids so early).

 

[greenmagick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PancakeGoddess It reminds me of my parents, who think my 3-week old needs some kind of metal brace on his feet because they turn in a little, the way they were in utero. Hello?!! My siblings "needed" this, therefore my baby must need it. It doesn't matter that every modern expert would disagree (just as with giving solids so early).

Dont know your situation, so this probably does not apply but.... if the feet are really turned in (actual clubfooot) this does run in families and needs to be casted and braced to correct. Just a little turned probably will fix itself

 

[eco_mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna No you're not being too sensitive. Draw the line now. Let her know that you're the mom. All information now says NO solids before 6 months- minimum. And at that, cereal is usless filler best skipped. -Angela

I agree.

I know family can be hard to deal with sometimes but don't back down mama. Just let them know what YOU want and are doing for YOUR baby. While they may have "good" intentions, they aren't always right and they mostly only do/say things because that's the way they did things or was taught. My family (on dh's side as well) won't really argue any facts w/ me because they know how I am and they (I guess) respect our choices. (or just act like they do in front of us..i really think that they think we're just crazy) But they know that we definitely do our homework when it comes to raising our family. Last weekend my sil was over and she made a comment about giving my ds cereal at 6 months. And I was like, "Babies don't particularly need anythiing other than bm at 6 months of age..and especially cereal." Boy, that seemed to spark something. I could tell she was thinking that I was just absolutely full of sh*t when I said that. I also told her that I'm just gonna follow his lead. If he seems like he needs MORE then perhaps I'll start him on something else as well as bfing but if not...I don't see the point.

The bottom line is that no matter how much your family (or anyone else for that matter!) thinks your crazy, or disagrees w/ you, or thinks you're just full of bananas...don't buy into it. Just ignore them because at the end of the day it's your child and you're the one raising him/her.

 

[*guest]

You can always blame the ped... "the doctor says....<whatever it is you plan on doing anyway>" That always, always shuts down my MIL. sad but true, and easier than walking around with print outs of info that I already know is valid.

 

[sapphire_chan]

How do people not know anything about babies? I mean, her 'logic' for the cereal thing is basically "your daughter is big and needs more food", um, how does she think your daughter got that big in the first place???

You've told her the facts, she's choosing to ignore sense, now it's time to break out the bean dip.

 

[PancakeGoddess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenmagick Dont know your situation, so this probably does not apply but.... if the feet are really turned in (actual clubfooot) this does run in families and needs to be casted and braced to correct. Just a little turned probably will fix itself

oh, yes - that's not the situation at all. Actually, I just looked at him again and they're not realy turned at all - he just holds his little legs crossed with his feet pointing inward - you can just picture him pretzeled up like that in my belly

This brace my bro and sis wore is actual hard baby shoes with a metal bar across the bottom. I honestly have no idea what was up with that but the midwife and MD both have looked him over and I think his feet are a-ok.