Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Since losing my little girl, I have been lurking on this board, reading everyone elses stories. Although I do not know any of you, just reading your stories helped me connect and start healing. On 4/3/09 I had noticed at work that I really had not felt the baby move that day. I am a teacher and we were on a field trip, so I figured I was just not paying attention. When I got home I still did not feel the baby move so I did all the typical things that usually made the baby active. I drank a glass of cold juice and laid down, I played the flashlight game and nothing...It was then I really started to panic and called the Dr. The Dr. told me to go to the hospital to get monitored. As soon as they had trouble finding the heartbeat, I knew...My husband stayed optimistic and was in denial. The ultrasound showed that the heart was not beating and the baby had passed. It all seems like a nightmare. They induced my labor and my sweet baby girl, Marissa Faith, was born on 4/4/09 at 11:22 a.m. She weighed 6lb 15 oz and was 20 in. long. The absolute most beautiful baby...We did not know if it was going to be a boy or girl; A surprise that helped me see the positive in labor. Although I knew the baby was gone, I wanted so bad to know what I was having, see their innocent face, and hold that baby in my longing arms. The doctor said the cord was too tight around her neck and body and that is why she passed...I trust my dr. but I can't seem but to wonder how and why. I keep wondering if we should had gotten the autopsy to ease our minds...I miss her so much. She was my first pregnancy and my entire life. I am trying to keep busy and move forward, as I feel lost as to what to do with all my time and love these days. My heart aches for any mother who has to endure a loss of their baby.