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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today I found out I have no baby. An ultrasound revealed a sac but no fetus, my doctor called it a blighted ovum or anembreyonic(sp?) pregnancy. I am/was 7 weeks, 5 days. My OB gave me the option to wait and miscarry naturally or have a D&C. I am so torn about what to do... I haven't had any bleeding or cramping, and my OB said it could be weeks, even a month, before I miscarry. I'm not sure if I can handle that emotionally - I think it will be very hard to walk around for weeks still feeling/looking pregnant.<br><br>
I also have a 2.5 year old to think about. I'm a SAHM, and I'm scared of being home alone with him when the miscarriage happens. If I didn't have another child, I would most definitely choose to miscarry naturally, but I am really scared about how it will affect my ds. What if it's a really bad miscarriage? How will he handle seeing me in so much pain and bleeding? What if I pass out or something??<br><br>
On the other hand, having a D&C terrifies me. I have never had any type of surgery. I would really prefer to just let my body take care of things, but I'm not sure I can wait that long.<br><br>
I am so confused, and I don't see how I will ever be able to make this decision. I'm such an emotional wreck right now.
 

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I am so sorry about your loss. I hope that you find here comfort, understanding and unconditional LOVE...<br><br>
I am happy you are here, not happy about why you have to be here!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
~Jackie
 

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Aimee, take your time, I'm convinced you will know when the decision is right, if it happens before you make up your mind, you will know that what was what your body wanted. I had a d&c the day after finding out the baby was gone, but I'll be honest with you, for me at that time, there was no doubt in my mind as to what I should do and I've never regretted it. Nobody pressured me or influenced my decision.<br>
In the mean time, drink PLENTY of water, get lots of rest and make sure you have some advil or something stronger on hand. My first natural m/c went so badly I'm sure because I had drank a lot of wine that night (to drown my sorrows) adn I know I was horribly dehydrated.<br>
I think your body and your baby will tell you what is right, if you read closely, the women here who were not pressured into their decisions all seem to feel good about what they chose, be it natural or d&c.<br>
Take care of yourself mama and please come here to talk things out.
 

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aimcar - i could have written your post. i just found out the same thing on friday. it was our first and we had tried for so long to get pregnant. For me it was therapeutic to put away all the baby books and throw away the positive test, etc. I had an awful weekend - mostly rented and watched a bunch of movies and that REALLY helped. Yesterday and today I felt much better. Right now I seem to be ok as long as I don't think about it. I had 2 little spots today and I am just hoping the bleeding will start soon. I have never hoped for blood more in my whole life!! I am just ready to have it over with to move on and start trying again. I have another appt with with mw tomorrow where they will draw blood (to look at hcg levels) and do another u/s. I guess right now I am thinking of just seeing how long it will take for it to happen naturally. If it starts to take too long then I will look into the d&c. I know for me- I really feel the need to move on.<br>
Take care and feel free to pm me if you just want to talk -
 

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aimcar, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am so sorry about your loss. I agree with Shannon that you can take your time.<br><br>
I wrote this same post a few weeks ago. I hope it will help to read my story.<br><br>
I was torn, too. My gut was to go naturally. However, I started thinking about my dd (who is 3.5) and what was best for her and scheduled a D&C for the Friday afternoon after I found out (I found out on Monday, I was 11.5 weeks, but baby was 8 weeks). I started spotting the day before and by 8am the day of the D&C app't the baby left. It went very well for me (as well as somethin glike this could be). I took the wise advice of the women here and kept myself hydrated, especially after I started spotting and all through the night. I made sure I ate enough to keep my energy up. My dh was taking the day off anyway for the D&C so luckily he was there. DD had no idea anything had happened as she was downstairs watching TV.<br><br>
Please let us know if you have anymore questions or if you need to just talk. We have all been there and all know what you are going through. Take good care of yourself. And as someone who also had to deal with this while watching my child, let me strongly suggest that you ask for help with your child. It's like the airplane directions - put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you all so much for your kind words. I am able to think much clearer today and had decided to go ahead and have a D&C. I think it will help me move on quicker and help rid myself of the anxiety I have about miscarrying while I'm alone with ds. However, within the last hour or so I have started cramping and spotting, so maybe it will happen on its own afterall. DH is home today so at least I won't be by myself.<br><br>
I'm sorry any of us has to be here, but I'm grateful there is a place to come and receive support and love from others who have been there before.
 

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Aimee,<br><br>
Sending you much support as you go through this difficult time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm so sorry you need to be here, but the women here are wonderfully comforting and supportive.<br><br>
I started spotting on a Friday evening and was bleeding pretty heavily by Saturday evening. This continued all day Sunday (although the cramps had stopped by then) and Sunday evening with only a slight decrease in bleeding. Saw my ob Monday early afternoon and he wanted to do a D&C later that afternoon. I was ready - the bleeding was really draining on me physically and emotionally. Because my cervix was already slightly dilated they were able to use twilight anesthesia instead of general or spinal/epi. The twilight worked wonderfully for me - did not require any breathing tubes and I felt nothing. Afterwards I spotted a bit for a couple days and then the bleeding stopped. Never needed any tylenol or any other pain meds. For me the D&C was a positive experience. I was 10 weeks, so being a little further along than that may be to your advantage for a natural miscarriage.<br><br>
I echo others' recommendations to drink plenty of water, rest, get help with your child if possible. My dh was able to take the next day off work, and while I didn't think I needed it, it was really nice having him around for support. Take the time to feel what is the best decision for you and know that we are here to help.<br><br>
LisaG
 

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amicar,<br>
I'm sending you strength and healing vibes. I hope you will be allright on whatever path you choose.<br>
I miscarried 'naturally' just one week ago at 10 weeks with pretty heavy cramping (like a mini-birth) for some 4 hours and my 2 1/2 yo was there the whole time. Dh and her took turns either sitting next to me on the bed or playing in her room. For me, the hospital was never an option, but I had a mw to call in case of any problems and was watching any signs of infection carefully.<br>
Make sure to allow for some time to yourself to adjust and heal.<br><br>
Paniscus, I'm so sorry for your loss! I had my first dd with the Athens mws and I always felt very well cared for.
 

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I am sorry you are going through this. I hope whether the baby passes naturally or you have to have a D&C that it is gentle on you, and that you can come to terms with your decision. Be gentle on yourself.
 

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yes, be gentle with yourself. i had a natural mc but it took about a week for it to happen. i started spotting monday evening and the next monday i was still passing tissue. i thought it was never gonna end. i dont think it was as intense as some women's experience but it was scary and bewildering b/c i kept thinking it was over and it wasnt. my dh took 3 days off work on the advice of the ER doc which was a very good thing. so no pressure from me but i wish someone had told me what the possibilities were. i would not have done it differently but i would have been more prepared. i kept on living all through it without realising i was having mini-labour till it was all over. now it makes me a bit sad that i didnt just put my feet up. so take it easy. i am so sorry for your loss.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><br>
There are some threads discussing the advantage of a D&C over a natural miscarriage. The main advantange is being able to choose when it happens and get it done quickly so you can start the grieving process. Since you are starting to have symptoms it may be starting already but sometimes it can still take a bit for it to be complete.<br><br>
Will your dh be able to stay with you tomorrow as well? If you do m/c today you will likely be exhausted and need a little extra help with your ds.<br><br>
Like others said, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and maybe find some red rasberry leaf tea, it is good for uterine health.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
No one will judge you should you decide to have the D&C it is really a personal decision.
 

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I am so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I had more words for you right now but the ladies before me have said a lot of it. Stay hydrated!<br><br>
I just wanted to add a quick note about the d&c. I was very afraid of it and I ended up having one last week. There was very little pain or discomfort. The procedure was quick. I know the prospect of one can be terrifying, it was for me. Just wanted to give some reassurance if you opt for one that it is less terrifying than I anticipated.<br><br>
Sending you healing thoughts in this difficult time for you and your family.
 
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