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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br>
This is my first time here. My first pregnancy just ended in miscarriage at 5.5 weeks. We did have one very, very happy week of being pregnant & telling friends & family, but now I am devastated by the loss of my hoped for first baby, who was supposed to have been born in May. I know when it happens this early there is probably a reason, but I really thought this was meant to be--my whole family has been so excited, my partner & I were already talking to our baby & making plans, and grandma to be had written letters to the baby already. I can't believe all this has ended! I'm grateful that we weren't pregnant longer and that I seem to be healthy and able to get pregnant easily.<br>
So many questions-how to mark this event- what rituals have others done? When to start trying again? How to get the strength to try again? How to recover?<br>
Thanks in advance to all the wise & supportive women on these boards,<br>
Jesse<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">
 

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I'm so sorry you lost your pregnancy. It is especially hard when you have told so many people and you now have to tell people about the loss. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Take good care of yourself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. Telling people is hard, maybe you could talk to one or two family members and have them tell everyone else. Sometimes that makes it easier.<br><br>
Naming your baby helps, also people often get something to remind them of their child, a peice of jewelry, a statue, a memorial tree are all things I have seen people talk about.<br><br>
As far as recovery goes I would talk to your Dr a bit about how long they feel you should wait. Red Rasberry leaf tea is good for uterine health and will help with the healing process. Usually women wait a cycle or two before trying again but some have not waited at all and been fine with their next pregnancy. It is really up to how you are feeling in my opinion.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thank you abimommy & Gemini,<br><br>
we've told almost everyone we need to now, and have had very loving & supportive responses. The memory suggestions are wonderful, abimommy--I really want something permanent to remember this special little being. Haven't yet talked to my Dr. about trying again, but an unexpected blessing is how gentle & compassionate his response to our loss was (not expected based on previous experience with this Dr.)<br>
I think we are going to go to a river next to our house to send flowers off in memory....<br><br>
Jesse
 

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That sounds like a really nice thing to do for your little spirit! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angel.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angel">
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it is to lose a child. PLease know that you can find great support here. Just for me personally it was hard but it got worse for me when I had my first cycle afterwards. Be kind and let your body do whats it has to do. I know its easier said then done. But please try. Bless you. sweetie.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had magic words to take away the pain. My suggestion is to keep talking about your baby. Talk about your joy and your pain and your hopes for the future. Feel free to pm me if you need to.<br>
Gossamer
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you so much for your supportive words-it means so much from all of you strong women who have been through this kind of thing.<br><br>
I head back to work tomorrow after 5 days away, and I am not looking forward to this, though I do feel it's time. I do find myself still feeling very tired and get dizzy etc. easily. I have started taking an herbal iron supplement to help my body feel better. Does anyone have any thoughts about this?<br><br>
My partner has been really supportive, but just doesn't understand my need to remember a baby that she didn't yet have any connection with. Have any of you experienced something similar? She has a lot of grief issues of her own from losing her father in childhood, and this is getting in the way of her understanding my grief at this time.<br>
But she is really trying to listen & understand & be supportive, which I appreciate.<br><br>
thanks for listening-this is a very helpful board.
 
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