[catholic74]

My oldest daughter is nearly finished with Kindergarten at a local Catholic school and next year we plan to homeschool her. This isn't because we have a problem with the school, in fact, it's a great school. The problem for me is that the school is 30 minutes away and with a deployed husband (we're military) and two other kids, the communte has become very stressful for me.

I feel strongly that homeschooling will lessen the stress and bring peace to our family and will even bring blessings that I haven't even thought of. My daughter loves the idea and can't wait. My husband is supportive. I know which curriculum I like (Seton). Everything is sound.

But, ya know, every once in a while (mostly in the middle of the night), I have mini panic attacks because the idea of homeschooling, the complete change of lifestyle, is a little weird and scary. Can anyone relate to these types of feelings? Are they normal? It's such a huge lifestyle change, at least it feels like it and I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I wonder if folks will just think we're weird. I'm already counter cultural with other things (homebirthing, no circ, co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding). Not to mention we're a very religious family, which I sense sometimes makes folks shy away from me or at least remain reserved around me.

I know folks don't understand why I don't just put them on the bus like everyone else in the neighborhood, but it's because we feel strongly that our children must have a catholic education. If I can't provide this through a catholic school, then it has always been our plan to homeschool with a catholic curriculum. Public schools are just not an option for us. I don't know if folks understand this or just think we're strange because of it.....

Guess I'd like to hear what others have to say......any thoughts...

 

[skueppers]

It's entirely possible that your neighbors think you are strange.

All you can do is hold your head up high and live the way you believe to be right. You know it's right for you and your family, so it really doesn't matter what your neighbors think.

 

[bendingbirch]

I think homeschooling can be a big transition for the whole family, but a great one. Most importantly, I think, is to give yourself and your children time to settle in without trying to jump into "school at home" right away. Your child will have memories of school, and sometimes that comes up as "I would like to go back to school, I don't like this homeschool thing", sometimes not, so I would say to really be as calm and centered about it as possible if your child brings this up and just rather matter of fact that this is how it is.
Homeschooling is not school at home, it can be far more relaxed and you can get far more done in a hands-on way, so my other suggestion would be not to ignore cooking (lots of math and science there), gardening, and other areas of practical life.
I can't wait to hear from you in six months or so and find out how everything is going! There are so many advantages to homeschooling that I don't think even private school can touch, so I feel excited you are embarking on this journey!

 

[AAK]

Also, you may wish to seek out others like yourself. There is a Catholic homeschooling co-op in our town, you might find one around you. I find that I stopped feeling weird when I found others that were similar in belief to me.

Amy

 

[hotmamacita]

I am not Catholic but think that if your husband and you feel strongly about giving them a Catholic education then you have to trust that decision. Your neighbors are going to think you are odd no matter what you do. Some neighbors are just like that, especially with those who are different.

Welcome to the homeschooling forum, btw.

: Your daughter's excitement is delightful. She loves her mama!!!!

ETA: Lillian always has the best advice!

 

[LucyRev]

I think your feelings are totally normal. When I was on the brink of making the decision to homeschool (only 1.5 months ago!) I was kind of temporarily insane. It was like severe PMS for a whole month.

It felt like so much to take on. But now I am so happy with our decision and our family life is much more peaceful. We also had a bad commute to a good school, but decided to quit. DD wasn't enjoying school though.

And yes, take time to destress and deschool. Do fun activities, follow your bliss, observe your daughter's and your own learning styles and visualize what you want your new path to be.

I also feel like quite a weirdo sometimes, depending on what circles I'm in. I was so excited about saying, "We homeschool!

:" and so many times I get

in return. Oh well. But you'll also find the people who are supportive. Everybody is weird to someone, right? We have to do what is right for us.

 

[Lillian J]

First of all, the lifestyle you'll be moving into will feel a whole lot more natural, and it will be a lot less stressful

- change of lifestyle will not be a problem. And when times are easier, you can just as easily return to the school option if you want to.

But don't get yourself in the position of trying to defend what you're doing - just being full of joy and confidence - enthusiasm - about it is enough to fend most people off and bring out the positive reactions from them about the good things they've heard about homeschooling.

As for answering people's questions, I think it would work better to just skip talk about the religious part, which is something most won't be able to relate to nor understand. I think you could just focus on the advantages of keeping the family together with less driving and disruption while providing a good education. Keep in mind that most people are not even dealing with the factor of the parochial school being too far away - they're just dealing with the issue of wanting to homeschool for a whole set of other reasons.

I must add, though, in regard to religious education, having attended a number of parochial schools when I was growing up, from Baptist to Catholic, that it has not been my personal experience at all that a parochial school provides a better religious education than what can easily happen at home and church while attending public schools. In fact, my experience seemed just the opposite.

And what Carrie said cannot be emphasized enough: "Most importantly, I think, is to give yourself and your children time to settle in without trying to jump into "school at home" right away." And once you move into it more, there's no reason why it ever has to feel like school at home - there are lots of ways to enjoy learning together in the same casual ways you do everything else.

Lillian

 

[catholic74]

Thanks to you all for all the support and advice. After my daughter finishes up the year, we'll have all summer to relax and get out of school mode. I figure that will allow us time to start over and prepare our curriculim so that we're ready for our new adventure in the fall when the school year begins.

I feel confident in every area. I just get this feeling sometimes, of strangeness when I'm doing something so unconventional. I felt the same way when I was exploring the idea of homebirthing. It felt so right and natural to me, yet I, like everyone else, was so conditioned all my life to think that women are supposed to have babies in hospitals. Same with this. I've been so conditioned to think kids belong in a school building somewhere, that even when my instinct tells me homeschooling is best in every way, the part of me that wants to conform rears it's ugly head. I suppose, like someone said, once I do it for a while, it will feel normal. After all, having babies at home feels normal to me now and I plan to have any more babies at home. And someone mentioned wanting to hear from my in 6 months. I will make a point to check in and let you know! Perhaps I will look back at my misgivings and laugh.

Someone in the "tell us your story" area said "When I started homeschooling I felt like my children and I jumped off of a cliff. Imagine my surprise to find out we had wings!"

I like that!

 

[Lillian J]

This is probably going to sound pretty weird, but I've seen it so often over the years - the time over the summer is great, but it just doesn't tend to work for enough of a decompression/deschooling time. It's as if it doesn't count at all in many cases.

If you can plan for relaxed and fun things for the fall, rather than thinking in terms of starting right into a school year or curriculum, it can really help in getting off to a smooth start. You mentioned the things we're conditioned to do, and one of those is having regular school terms, with learning happening within set school time. But in a home setting, you have all the time in the world to provide for what the schools are trying to accomplish within the commotion of large classrooms full of children of all personalities and learning styles from lots of different family circumstances. They spend an awful lot of time getting students organized and attentive, passing things out, answering questions, asking questions to let various students respond - well, you know...we've all been there. And there's an awful lot of busy work that involves trying to cover all bases for all students or gathering evaluations to figure out where each student is in the process. But at home, it's a whole different story!

As I wrote in a "getting started" article for a state organization I volunteer with, "this can be a special and delicate time for your family-a time for getting to know and trust in one another in a new way-and it's a time to relish. This is a great time to relax and read to the family, take walks and field trips, bake and do crafts, and leisurely pursue special interests-all those wonderful things there was no time for earlier."

This is a thread that has links to some articles on the process of decompression/deschooling.

Have fun! Lillian

 

[catholic74]

Maybe I need to understand this decompression period better. I thought that this was necessary more for those kids who are pulled out of school at a later age, kids who have been going to school for years. Kindergarten is my daughter's first year of school ever. We didn't send her to pre-school. Yes, she has gotten used to a school environment, but I just didn't think she would have to much of a major transition as she's so little and flexible and when we have had what I call "practice runs" just to test the waters, it has gone quite well. She seems excited, eager to learn, etc. I have noticed that she asks to do a lot of things that her school does. She wants a flag so we can say the pledge of allegiance, for example and she wants to make a science station here and a cooking station there, just like at school. I've told her that school at home isn't exactly like going to school, but that we can do some things she does in school.

So two questions? What negative side effects might happen if I jump into a school routine after the summer? That conventional part of me wants to stay on track with everyone else. I guess I need some "unschooling" time myself.

Also, should I honor her requests to incorporate some things she does at her current school in our homeschool routine? I assumed I would just start a tentative schedule and adjust as necessary since I'm not sure what exactly will work for us.

 

[Lillian J]

From what you say, I doubt very much that there would be a problem with what you're planning. And there's no reason not to honor anything she asks for.

You'll easily be able to see how it goes on a daily basis, so you'll be able to take things as they come. It's just that it's not uncommon for people to get worried or upset over a child not being ready to buckle down and do schooly stuff when fall rolls around. So that, and the effects it has on the child, are the only negative side effects that can come from pushing things, but that's clearly not something you're going to be faced with.

Although deschooling oneself is always helpful in the big picture. Lillian

 

[Peppermint]

Just wanted to welcome you as a fellow Catholic homeschooler.

:

We use some Catholic Heritage Curricula supplies, because Seton was a bit too much for my relaxed/eclectic self

.

I am sure things will go wonderfully for your family with this change. I wish I had brought my daughter home after kindergarten instead of waiting until after 1st.

 

[catholic74]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peppermint Just wanted to welcome you as a fellow Catholic homeschooler. : We use some Catholic Heritage Curricula supplies, because Seton was a bit too much for my relaxed/eclectic self . I am sure things will go wonderfully for your family with this change. I wish I had brought my daughter home after kindergarten instead of waiting until after 1st.

You know, when I looked at the Catholic Heritage Curricula catalog, I was really impressed and just might have gone with them, but I felt more comfortable using a curriculum that came with all the accountability. You know, one that keeps a file on your child, offers a lesson plan, hands out diploma's etc....I just feel that I need to start off with the curriculum in a box thing until I get the hang of it and acquire the confidence to create my own curriculum and perhaps come to see that I don't need or want all that extra help! Or I might find that I like the structure and accountability. I don't know! Also, on the flip side, my daughter seemed to grasp concepts quickly and if I had my own way, I would have moved ahead in many areas. If I'd say anything about her experience in kindergarten, it would be that she could have been challenged more. One of the things I look forward to is offering her more complex material. When we have done our practice homeschooling, she doesn't seem to tire easily. She asks for more worksheets, then more, then more....so I was also worried catholic heritage might not be enough as they advertise a relaxed curricula.

On the subject of religion, that too is very basic in her school, I noticed. Her class just learned the Our Father this week!!! My daughter has known that prayer, among many others, for years!!! I assume, they keep it basic for those kids who are being exposed to this stuff essentially for the first time. I mean, it's good stuff, you know "Jesus loves you" and "Be kind to your neighbors" but we have been teaching her more complex stuff like the sacraments and the commandments, the different stories of the bible. In fairness, I assume the parents are supposed to supplement and enrich what is taught in school. I just mean that I took forward to teaching her the faith on her level, based on what she already knows and the specific questions she asks.

Thanks for the welcome!

 

[Peppermint]

It is funny, my first year I went with almost all CHC stuff, except I used Saxon math, that was my highest level of "structure" I could feel comfortable with, just goes to show, different strokes, right?

Now I do some CHC, but am really very eclectic in our approach. I will say that my kids know a TON more about their faith from our home teaching and Faith and Life materials (oh- and you cannot beat CHC's First Penance and First Holy Communion prep when you get there!) than they ever learned in Catholic school or parish Rel. Ed. *I* had a horrible catechesis (sp?) growing up, and so I learn some things along with them (not sure if that is sad or wonderful- lol).

I think it is nice to pick a starting point, like you have with Seton, for that first year, it let's you "relax" a bit about the "standards" part that most first-time homeschoolers worry about, and really feel out what works for you and your child.

Is Seton good about allowing you to put your child in different levels for different subjects? That is one thing that has been huge for us. We "school" year round and my kids are all at varying levels depending on subject and interest, etc. I LOVE that aspect of homeschooling so much. As a former teacher, it is probably my #1 "educational" reason for homeschooling, alongside being able to maintain a love of learning instead of a dread of "schoolwork". Then there is always the fact that my kids actually go OUTSIDE for hours each day

: and all of the other many things we have come to really love about homeschooling.

Is there a TORCH group near you? I know some places have TORCH or other Catholic homeschooling groups that are very active (ours is not very active, just get together for special Saints Day Masses and parties and such). Depending on where you live, general Christian homeschooling groups can be nice too, if there aren't a lot of anti-Catholics, of course

.

I have found a great love in my secular homeschooling group, we are among a few "crazy Catholics" and there are people of all varying religious and non-religious beliefs, but everyone is quite respectful and I don't have to worry about doctrinal issues like I might with a Christian group.

Sorry to ramble- I hope you find a great love of homeschooling your family, I suggest you pick a patron Saint for your homeschool, as a family, and pray for guidance.

 

[catholic74]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peppermint It is funny, my first year I went with almost all CHC stuff, except I used Saxon math, that was my highest level of "structure" I could feel comfortable with, just goes to show, different strokes, right? Now I do some CHC, but am really very eclectic in our approach. I will say that my kids know a TON more about their faith from our home teaching and Faith and Life materials (oh- and you cannot beat CHC's First Penance and First Holy Communion prep when you get there!) than they ever learned in Catholic school or parish Rel. Ed. *I* had a horrible catechesis (sp?) growing up, and so I learn some things along with them (not sure if that is sad or wonderful- lol). I think it is nice to pick a starting point, like you have with Seton, for that first year, it let's you "relax" a bit about the "standards" part that most first-time homeschoolers worry about, and really feel out what works for you and your child. Is Seton good about allowing you to put your child in different levels for different subjects? That is one thing that has been huge for us. We "school" year round and my kids are all at varying levels depending on subject and interest, etc. I LOVE that aspect of homeschooling so much. As a former teacher, it is probably my #1 "educational" reason for homeschooling, alongside being able to maintain a love of learning instead of a dread of "schoolwork". Then there is always the fact that my kids actually go OUTSIDE for hours each day : and all of the other many things we have come to really love about homeschooling. Is there a TORCH group near you? I know some places have TORCH or other Catholic homeschooling groups that are very active (ours is not very active, just get together for special Saints Day Masses and parties and such). Depending on where you live, general Christian homeschooling groups can be nice too, if there aren't a lot of anti-Catholics, of course . I have found a great love in my secular homeschooling group, we are among a few "crazy Catholics" and there are people of all varying religious and non-religious beliefs, but everyone is quite respectful and I don't have to worry about doctrinal issues like I might with a Christian group. Sorry to ramble- I hope you find a great love of homeschooling your family, I suggest you pick a patron Saint for your homeschool, as a family, and pray for guidance.

Seton uses Saxon and I'm not sure about being able to intechange books depending on skill level. I will find out because that is important. I certainly don't want my daughter to be stuck using a 1st grade spelling book for example if it's too easy for her. Ideally, I would like to be able to pay for Seton's filing, grading, counseling, etc services while being free to use whichever books I want, whether they come from Seton or CHC or the library, etc....but I figure I can use their books for the core studies and supplement with other books however I want. I'm not stressed about it. The first year is when I figure out what works for us in terms of how my daughter learns, which books I like, how structured I want to be, all that stuff. I tend to be a very structured, organized person in general and my daughter does too. She thrives on routine, rules, etc.

There are homeschooling support groups, two I know of offhand. Neither are Catholic, but I'll check them out and see how I fit in. Not sure how much or how little I want to be involved there. My daughter doesn't need an outlet for socialization or anything. She has dance classes, play dates and there are a zillion neighborhood kids she runs around with. I might touch base with the groups for info, support and the occasional field trip or co-op. Not even sure about the field trip thing. I actually look forward to going on field trips with just me and my three kids. (Husband is deployed). Small grops are easier to control and I can focus more on what we're learning.

No need to apologize for the rambling! I welcome any information. I want to hear about the experience of other catholic homeschoolers in particular. When you make choices that are unconventional and not always easy, it helps to know there are others out there who feel the way you do. The right path for your family is not always the most convenient route, that's for sure. Putting my kids on a bus every morning might be easier and give me more "me" time every day, but I wouldn't sleep well at night knowing I'd sold out what's important to me for me own comfort and convenience. Glen Beck once said on the radio that you have to let your kids see you make those hard choices and explain to them why you value what you do so much that you are even willing to sacrifice for them and that really hit home to me. THAT is a life lesson right there! That's how I feel about it.

See, you're not the only one who can ramble.......

In him

 

[Mizelenius]

If people don't "understand" homeschooling, I explain that it's like a weekend every day. That helps them realize that it isn't really that strange at all-- that they, in a sense, do it, too.