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I've been a single mom for 2 years. I've been seeing someone for a year now steady, my kids(11g & 19b) know him and like him. I've known him most of my life but never been involved with him romantically.

My struggle is integrating him into my life as a partner. I never let him stay the night if my kids are here. He has dinner with us once in awhile but mostly I've kept the relationship between us. He helps with my 11 year old, getting her to school and such when I need help (which isn't very often). I am stuck at a point where I feel like I have to accept that this is how it will be until my daughter is grown....which at times is really hard. I love him and miss him and he's a great influence. Or break it off and accept that I don't have time for a serious relationship....I can't seem to find a middle ground that works for me.

Any advice would be a huge help.
 

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Hi PMA and welcome to Mothering! :)

I;m going to move your thread over to the Single Parenting forum where you should get some helpful input from members there. Good luck! :love
 

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Welcome to MDC. It's not clear to me what reason you have to break things off, and why at this point, he wouldn't integrate into your life more. You've known one another a long time, he likes your kids and you have been seeing one another for a year. How does he feel about the relationship?
 

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Welcome to the group!!

I'm kind of guessing you are trying to protect your daughter in case things do not work out? It sounds like your relationship is progressing at a good, calm rate so unless he is pushing for more, which you are not comfortable with, I do not see why you would want to break up with this man. Is he good for you? Is he good with your children? Do they like him? In a perfect world do you see a future with him?

If all the answers are positive then don't mess with a good thing! Ask your daughter how she feels. Would it upset her if he stayed one night a week? What would the house rules be if he did? Neither walking around in just underwear etc)?

You aren't rushing into anything which is a really good thing, but putting your life on total hold is not good. For one thing, think of how great it would be for your kids to know you are happy? And even if the relationship doesn't end up working in the long run, they will be shown a health manner to end a relationship. After all, they are going to probably get their hearts broken in their romantic life as well.
 

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I think you need to ask yourself what you're scared of. By what you're telling us it seems like he's a good guy. Maybe the next step is to talk to your children and see what they feel about the whole situation and what they are comfortable with and take tiny, little, brave baby-steps... Good luck!:grin:
 
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