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This one's not directly about me. This one concerns a friend of mine.<br><br>
She's in a brand-new relationship (they connected online Nov-Dec and met New Year's) and they are already engaged to be married. Soon. So they are quite serious (obviously).<br><br>
The guy has a 7 yo son. That son has met one previous girlfriend of his but has not yet met my friend. The child's mother has had one live-in boyfriend since the divorce, but that has also ended.<br><br>
Anyway, my friend hasn't met the kid (because he lives quite far away), but they do talk on the phone. He was calling her [friend's name]-mama and then this got shortened to Mama. Why do I find this so odd? Oh, and also, the kid's mother is ok with this (she is Mommy and my friend is Mama).<br><br>
I'm not even sure what my question is. Is this common? Anyone else had it happen that way? We've avoided words that sound like Mom to avoid drama, but here there is apparently no drama. Does that mean it's a good thing? I'm thrilled that the mother isn't threatened by my friend, as that bodes well for the future. Just something hits me as a bit off here, and I'm not sure what. Is is because I can't imagine in a million years my 7 yo DSS calling ANYONE Mama whom he had never met so I can't picture how it came about? Maybe he does this because he had a previous stepmom figure so he's used to it? I almost feel like that was too easy, so I'm bracing myself for whatever's next, maybe? Anyone have any insights on this one? Thanks!
 

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I've never heard of it being that easy either... I'd be bracing for some sort of blow too, to be honest. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Sorry I don't have more positive thoughts...
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pranamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10689880"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">are the two ex's very religious? THat's the only logical reason I could think of, otherwise I'd think it was weird.</div>
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No, they're not religious as far as I know. I'm not sure I follow your thought here as to why religious people might do this, but no, I don't think that's the issue in their case.
 

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For what it's worth, early on in my relationship (but when it was clear it was a long-term thng), my SO's ex told him it would be OK if SD called me "mom" or "mommy" (she's Mama). We've never gone that route (although I occasionally get the list: "Mama, I mean Teacher, I mean..." but I would call my teacher "Mom" on occasion so that makes sense).<br><br>
If all parties are OK with it, it's probably OK.
 

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When my mom got remarried we chose to call my step-dad (with whom we lived full-time) "Daddy" because my dad was "Papa." I assume my Papa didn't have an issue with it because I can't imagine my mom not running that one by him. My husband is also a "Papa" and has told me he would be okay with his daughter calling her step-dad "Dad" if she decided she wanted to, though I'm not sure he has extended this invitation to his ex. I have gotten the impression that it is easier for dads than moms to hear a step-parent be called by a dad-like name... though I can't say why I have that impression.<br><br>
Perhaps mom and son are just secure enough in their relationship that it doesn't bother either of them? Maybe they had a discussion that a name is just a name and it doesn't change anything with their own relationship? I really don't know... Would be nice if it really IS that easy... would be nice if it was <i>always</i> that easy!!
 

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Seems weird to me. He's never met her and the dad and your friend are not even married yet. Sounds like some blurred boundaries and maybe some neediness going on. Yucky IMO.
 
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