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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br><br><br>
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.<br><br>
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.<br><br>
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.<br><br>
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.<br><br>
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.<br><br>
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.<br><br>
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.<br><br>
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.<br><br>
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.<br><br>
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.<br><br>
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.<br><br>
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.<br><br>
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.<br><br>
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.<br><br>
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.<br><br>
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.<br><br>
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
 

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laughup<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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