Mothering Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
3,211 Posts
My husband has ADHD and my son may or may not -- he can't be diagnosed until his hearing is corrected and we know how much is fallout from that. Medication for ADHD saved my husband's life, our marriage, and probably my children's lives, given how forgetful and destractable he was as a stay at home parent and behind the wheel. I'm all about medication for ADHD -- there are some supplements (DHEA, some Cholines) you can look into that can help, (and caffeine can be another option) but stay open to the idea.

There are several different types of ADHD -- hyperactive, inattentive and mixed. Knowing which one your daughter has will help. You may need to get a full neuropsychiatric evaluation in order to do that, which sadly may or may not be covered by your health insurance in the U.S. But it's worth doing at some point, because it will make dealing with schools easier and once your daughter is in high school (and at the point where, sadly, many doctors seem to presume all ADHD kids are druggies or drug-dealers) it may be necessary if she choses to get on/stay on medication.

I am most familiar with inattentive ADHD with hyperfocus, which is the form my DH has. His biggest problem has been with executive processing -- the ability to take a jumble of tasks you have to do (wash the laundry, fold the clothes, take a shower, go to the bank, get the oil changed, start dinner) and prioritize them and order them so that you can get all them done. So like, I would take the list and think "Okay, shower first, then put the laundry in. I can go to the bank that is across the street from the oil change place, but I might not have time to do that before the baby needs to go down, so I'll put that off until tomorrow, get home, dry the laundry, fold it, and then start dinner." DH, before meds, would do things like put the laundry in and then take a shower and get pissed because there was no hot water, because it was all in the washer. Then he'd fold the clean laundry, run out of time, rush to the oil change place, forget the bank deposit even if that was the number one thing to get done that day and start dinner at like 6pm, even if it needed to cook for an hour. NOT because he was stupid or didn't care, but because prioritization and planning like that are HARD for him and he literally cannot see those conflicts or predict how much time things will take. (He's gotten way, way better on meds though.)

So. He does a lot of checklists, a lot of Top Three stuff, and a lot of coaching and breaking things down. Talking through prioritizing can help. Anything that you can do to teach your daughter those skills -- in a gentle, caring manner that acknowledges that her brain is not good at this, and it will take a long time -- will help. But keep it so, so simple. Fancy systems are hard. Skills like "Put everything in your backpack" over "put everything in a color-coded folder for each subject". It almost has to become muscle memory at the beginning, but the more she can start building those habits, the better off she'll be. Medication will help her brain behave more neurotypically, but learning these skills will still be a challenge for her. The more support she can get from you the better. :)
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top