[Avani]

<p>I do not have to go down there, at least not until the end of February. However the judge awarded my ex all of xmas break. He has to cover travel both ways. The judge is not supposed to discuss breaks at ex parte's so we weren't expecting(well sort of considering you have to expect anything with crazy judge) that. My lawyer brought up the arrest/halfway house and the judge didn't care. The judge specifically stated that my ex will take good care of the children and protect them from any harm. I'm thankful I can take my finals and not have to travel and be responsible for expenses. I am devastated that I don't get to spend any of xmas with my children. My babies that I birthed and have never missed a single xmas with. I don't want to tell them because I know they are going to be so upset.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The mandatory hearing will be overseen by a new judge in February and so will our request to move the case here and also to cover the sactions we are imposing from my ex's abusing the court system. Hopefully at that point we can get some justice. I need to go cry.</p>

 

[New_Natural_Mom]

<p>Can you appeal the Xmas break since he wasn't supposed to talk about it?  And, unless I am mistaken, your ex doesn't know where you live correct?  And there is a restraining order?  How can he get them?</p>

 

[Halfasianmomma]

<p>Good god, I'm so sorry Avani. I can't believe the judge said what he did...it almost sounds like you ex was paying him to say that</p>

 

[MissLotus]

<p>I think it's absurdly unfair - you indeed should be the one to be able to spend the holidays with your children!  I mean, REALLY.  Why does this "man" deserve that?  How does the judge know your ex will "protect them from any harm"?  His track record hardly indicates that.  Did he get all of their real Christmas break, or did he get his way about the nonsense on the 15th, etc. wherein they would have to miss school and their activities? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well.  At least SOME of the stuff remained intact - I was afraid the judge would just go whole-hog and reverse everything.  About the visit - can your lawyer appeal?   I mean, if breaks weren't supposed to be discussed/ordered at this hearing, then what the heck.  It would seem she has legal grounds to file an appeal of some sort!  Hang in there, Avani - no matter what, this judge's days are numbered and so is his poor treatment of you and the kids. </p>

 

[smeep]

<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and your babies will make it through this!!! Just remember that this is the LAST time that he and Crazy Judge will EVER hurt you and your babies!!!!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I assume there's no way to get this overturned at all? Based on Crazy Judge not taking the arrest/halfway house thing into account and the fact that he's not supposed to discuss visits at ex parte? I figure the answer is no, but I had to ask.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You're strong, mama, and you WILL get through this!!!!!!!</p>

 

[crystalface]

<p>That is horrible Avani! I'm so sorry. I can only imagine their reactions when you tell them!!</p>
<p><span><img alt="jaw.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/jaw.gif"></span></p>
<p><span>I agree that your X is abusing the system.</span> I thought he had to request this visit from the attorney? I will reread that thread incase I missed something.... >.<</p>

 

[crystalface]

<p>I figured it out and I feel like a dope. <span><img alt="greensad.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif"></span></p>

 

[momof4peppers]

<p>That stinks. Did the judge at least give you a return date?</p>

 

[PoppyMama]

<p>Are children allowed in the houses according to the licensing?  Maybe you can call the licensing people for half-way houses and see if this is even allowed and maybe your x can be threatened with having the license yanked for having children in the house.  If there is a registered sex offender living there aren't they forbidden from being in a house with children?  I'm wondering if you can go at this from another angle that has nothing to do with the judge.  What does CPS say about children being in that environment?  I am glad you don't have to go down there and he has to provide transpo.  Maybe he won't even be able to come up with the money since he's been expecting for you to have to pay.</p>

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>PoppyMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284552/new-update#post_16105214"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Are children allowed in the houses according to the licensing?  Maybe you can call the licensing people for half-way houses and see if this is even allowed and maybe your x can be threatened with having the license yanked for having children in the house.  If there is a registered sex offender living there aren't they forbidden from being in a house with children?</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br>
YES.  I would start researching this angle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>ETA - what was the writ that you were going to file??  Can you still file that to overturn this order?  This is just getting more and more ridiculous.</p>

 

[hillymum]

<p>What are the chances he is actually going to want to do all that traveling? Especially as the cost is going to come out of his pocket?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sorry! I can't imagine how down you must feel about this!</p>

 

[Theia]

<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>

 

[Avani]

<p>We are to meet Saturday morning the 18th at the police station and I will have them back Thursday the 29th. The judge was <em>kind</em> enough(must be the christmas spirit) to allow me New Years and a weekend with the kids before they go back. There really is no appeal here. The judge stated that 96% of the people in family court are pro se (representing themselves) and therefore don't know all the protocol. So he allowed my ex to discuss xmas break due to that. The appeal we were going to file was based on if the judge forced me to miss my finals and make the kids miss school. Any other judge would have thrown this out. I will get New years, I don't have to cover travel (judge actually stated because ex has never paid support I don't have to travel) , I can take my finals, my kids get to complete school and go to their performance. In the New YEar, with the new judge I will kick ex's a$$ in court.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The halfway house thing, I just don't know. I will have to figure all that out. I'll start making calls, obviously at this point it won't make a difference but maybe it will by the time we go in for the mandatory settlement. There isn't a registered sex offender in the house. No, grandpa was arrested and convicted of kidnapping and molesting a teen aged girl back in the 70's but it wasn't enough to consider him a registered sex offender. We looked into the case and presented to the judge. Didn't phase him a bit.</p>

 

[doubledutch]

<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif">  i'm sorry for the losses, but i'm glad it's not as bad as it used to be and so glad to hear that, while you are sad, you do not sound defeated. </span></p>

 

[crystalface]

<p>I hope everything goes smoothly with the break/visitation. <span><img alt="om.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/om.gif"> I agree about checking out the halfway house licensing as well, however if the judge permitted it, then maybe it is okay?</span> <span><img alt="headscratch.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/headscratch.gif"></span></p>

 

[Avani]

<p>Under California law one does not need a license or zoning in order to run a half way home. just found that information. Not sure about kids being around.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I need to go buy the kids a phone with that gps tracking on it so I can monitor where they are and whether he takes them out of state again.</p>

 

[MissLotus]

<p>Hmm...I wonder if because a different judge saw it your way, it tempered the evil judge a bit.  Not fair - heck no - and you should have not to be grateful to be able to spend New Years with your own children.  But - evil judge could have awarded that and didn't - plus actually admitted that ex should have the "hardship" of transportation since he hasn't paid child support... that just makes me think he knows he's being watched.  I'm also very glad the kids don't have to miss their performance!  While there is a chance you could make something happen with the halfway house issue, and your cheap lazy ex may decide it's not worth the bother to come pick up all the kids if he actually has to pay for it... even if the kids have to visit him, I would plan a slam-bang Christmas/New Years <em>combo</em> celebration with them that will be lovely and awesome, to look forward to.  At least you'll have a little bit of time to celebrate, and enjoy this while it lasts, Avani's ex, because come 2011 your fun is <em>over</em>!</p>

 

[Virginia Mom]

<p>Here are some ideas...</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It sounds weird that kids would be staying in a halfway house.........not just registered sex offenders,but others....</p>
<p>Have you checked out the national sex offenders registry? For Virginina, it's on the Virginia State Police website...not sure about others.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Can't your lawyer petition a restraining order against the halfway house bc of that man with the sexual abuse past? and force your ex to stay in a hotel? And if he can't oh well, no kids?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And what about them being pulled out of school for the visit? IF they are missing school days, that's a truancy issue that can be filed against your ex as well.............</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Try finding a half way house near you............talk to whomever is in charge................use them as your source of info.............</p>

 

[Goodmom2008]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Avani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284552/new-update#post_16105430"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Under California law one does not need a license or zoning in order to run a half way home. just found that information. Not sure about kids being around.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I need to go buy the kids a phone with that gps tracking on it so I can monitor where they are and whether he takes them out of state again.</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br><br>
Unfortunately, I don't think that you are going to be able to do anything.  Anything that is filed will be in front of this stupid judge. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I think that he will show up, he knows that this visit will make you miserable.  Given that his first plan to do that didn't work out, he's going to be pissed enough to show up.  And he will probably be late in bringing them back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And he will probably take the phone away from the kids and turn it off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am sorry that you are dealing with such a jerk.  He should have his rights stripped away from him. </p>

 

[MissLotus]

<p><br><br>
I don't know - this is the same guy that files for emergency hearings and then doesn't show, to his own detriment...  Also, he's probably pouting that he has to put on his big-boy panties and actually shell out the money for transportation.  It's definitely good to be prepared for his antics, but on the other hand, he does have a lot of stuff working against him so it's worth looking into all the angles!</p>
<p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Goodmom2008</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284552/new-update#post_16105520"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Avani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1284552/new-update#post_16105430"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Under California law one does not need a license or zoning in order to run a half way home. just found that information. Not sure about kids being around.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I need to go buy the kids a phone with that gps tracking on it so I can monitor where they are and whether he takes them out of state again.</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br><br>
Unfortunately, I don't think that you are going to be able to do anything.  Anything that is filed will be in front of this stupid judge. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And I think that he will show up, he knows that this visit will make you miserable.  Given that his first plan to do that didn't work out, he's going to be pissed enough to show up.  And he will probably be late in bringing them back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And he will probably take the phone away from the kids and turn it off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am sorry that you are dealing with such a jerk.  He should have his rights stripped away from him. </p>
</div>
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<br><br>