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ok so we dont do the family bed and have been having a tough time at night w/ our 3 week old<br>
she takes naps ok during the day in the bassinet but at night she will NOT sleep in there!<br>
She nurses fine2-3x a night but when I put her to sleep in there she screams and wont settle down so it ends up with her sleeping on DH's chest or in between us on the bed so none of us get really good rest because DH or I dont fall totally asleep knowing she's in the bed<br><br>
have you experienced this and will she ever sleep in there at night? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
?
 

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Yes I experienced it - before I learned to trust my mommy instincts to know that I wouldn't roll on her, and before I learned to side-lie nurse in bed.<br><br>
I don't have much advice other then learning to sleep comfortably with babe in bed. A bed rail so she can be on the outside, or an in bed co-sleeper might help you feel more comfortable.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>starbound25</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8000983"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">have you experienced this and will she ever sleep in there at night? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
?</div>
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Our newborn was the same way. We weren't planning on having a family bed, but that's what happened. Eventually, I got used to having him sleep next to me. Now he starts the night in his sidecar bassinet and joins me in the middle of the night. Sometimes he goes back, sometimes he stays with me. It wasn't until around 6-8 weeks that he was ok sleeping on his own.<br><br>
Hang in there!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
hard with a 3 week old. it took me a little while to relax too but cosleeping really is the best.
 

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We went through this too. I surrendered and stopped trying every night because I wanted sleep and we let her sleep on my or DH's chest. I also learned how to nurse lying down and had her sleeping in the crook of my arm. But we kept trying the bassinet about once each week, but I stopped trying so hard every night to make her sleep in there. And I think that my effort to "chill out about it" worked...b/c at about 9 weeks, we got back out the miracle blanket and wrapped her up, I nursed her til she fell asleep and put her in the bassinet, and, lo and behold, she slept soundly in it.<br><br>
You wont be teaching her a bad habit if you let her spend the first 12 weeks with you. She's too little to develop *habits*. I also happen to believe that the first 3 mos out of the womb are so startling for them that they want to be close to you and can't settle down unless they smell, touch you. She will grow out of it though...its not forever. So hang in there, and let her sleep however she needs to so that all of you get sleep. Whats more important now is that you stay well rested, not that she learns to sleep on her own...she will learn that -- but she is telling you that she is just not ready yet. She's only 3 weeks old after all! She's so little!<br><br>
hang in there mama.
 

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she wants to sleep with her mama. trust me, you won't roll on her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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thanks ladies, I feel better reading your responses, I think I will look for a bed co-sleeper, time to brew some coffee! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>eco_mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8001393"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">she wants to sleep with her mama. trust me, you won't roll on her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Listen to your babe. She's telling you something very important <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I knew I wanted to co-sleep from the beginning, and I did (and still do!) but I remember very well how hard it was to sleep at first. I wasn't worried about rolling over onto him, but I kept checking to make sure he was breathing, that he was comfortable, that he wasn't about to wake up. It's just an adjustment thing, but I lost sleep even when he was sleeping! I eventually settled and so did he. I say you try co-sleeping at least for the time being, do some deep breathing, and remember that you have strong mommy instincts and will not hurt your baby, even while you're asleep.
 

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Human infants, like nearly all other mammals, are designed to sleep with mama. Biologically it's safer. Smart baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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When I was 19 or 20 my friend had a baby. She came to stay with me for the weekend and I offered to let her baby sleep in my room so she could have a break from him (seems strange now...) Anyway, there he was in his little crib and every time he breathed, or sighed or chirped I jumped out of bed to check on him. Finally, I thought "this is ridiculous, he's sleeping in my bed where I can keep an eye on him." So, he settled in the crook of my arm and slept there all night. (He was formula fed.) When my friend came in my room in the morning to wake us up, I'd already been awake for a while, just staring at him asleep.<br><br>
Without even knowing that co-sleeping was a thing, it just felt like the right thing to do.
 

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I had that with dd2 and dd3. I ended up sleeping with them in the rocking chair. We did that until 2 months and then transitioned into sleeping in the pack and play. We tried all sorts of things: more swaddling, less swaddling. Nothing seemed to make a difference. I'm not sure why it worked at 2 months.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8001618"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Human infants, like nearly all other mammals, are designed to sleep with mama. Biologically it's safer. Smart baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
-Angela</div>
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Smart baby! She knows what she needs! She will get more milk at night sleeping with you and your supply will be better. She will getting a growth spurt soon so start now.<br>
Babies have a very high need to be close to their parents. Better sleep comes when we learn to accept this.
 

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We ended up with all 3 of our sons in bed with us at some point or another - although we never really "wanted" to. Research and invest in a good swaddling blanket. In our experience, they will sleep less fitfully and longer stretches when they are swaddled up tight and cozy. Whether it is with you or not. It keeps their "startle" reflex under control and makes them feel more like they are being held. Good luck!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>phillychiquita</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8001383"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You wont be teaching her a bad habit if you let her spend the first 12 weeks with you.</div>
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I don't understand the notion that only new-newborns should sleep with their mother. I see this a lot in real life when someone says "I co-slept, but only for the first few weeks". Biologically, the child should stay with his/her mother for the duration of their nursing relationship, not just the first few weeks.<br><br>
Orangutangs don't sleep with their infants until they're 12 weeks old, then kick them out to sleep on their own branch. It just doesn't work that way.<br><br>
Plus, I have this "9 months in, 9 months out" theory. They spent 40 weeks (give or take <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ) sleeping with us, being carried by us, listening to our voices, etc, that it seems absolutely mystifying that ANY baby would be secure enough to sleep by themselves at 12 weeks. I know it happens, because I read plenty of posts from women that have baby's who sleep better and longer on their own, but my point is that if it doesn't happen naturally and easy, then the child isn't ready for it!!<br><br>
I guess my real point is that making an arbitrary decision at 12 weeks old to encourage an infant sleep alone is unrealistic and unnatural.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>starbound25</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8001475"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thanks ladies, I feel better reading your responses, I think I will look for a bed co-sleeper, time to brew some coffee! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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<br>
It's quite likely that a co-sleeper will not help at this age. We tried that, while I was still struggling with my fear of co-sleeping with a newborn. If your babe wants to be right by you, then that probably means snuggled into your sides.<br><br>
I think Askdrsears.com might have some tips on safe co-sleeping.<br><br>
I used the blanket security method: I put a larger baby blanket on the bed, in a diamond shape, my body was on top of part of, put ds on top of the blankie, and pulled the other end over him and tucked it under my body. This way, ds was not between me and dh, but couldn't fall off bed. I hope I described that in a way that makes sense.<br><br>
You will be surprised how in tune you are with her, and an infant will likely try to roll toward your body, then towards the end of your bed.<br><br>
Good luck, you will get soooo much more sleep.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8001618"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Human infants, like nearly all other mammals, are designed to sleep with mama. Biologically it's safer. Smart baby <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
-Angela</div>
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most babies have this problem with the bassinetts and they found that it is because the sides are too tall and they think noone is around. We found that dd would also nap in it durring the day (sometimes) but not at night. But that was OK because we only have it for when mommy and daddy need "special" time together. Then we still just swaddle her up good and let her fall asleep like normal then lay her in there and she is out the first time she starts wanting to eat.
 
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