[DreamsInDigital]

He broke up with me some time last week. I don't know. Sunday? I can't remember.
I have a bilateral ear infection (including one ruptured ear drum, fun!) and bronchitis and have been under the influence of codeine so my sense of time is a little messed up.
Anyway, so he pretty much moved out, took his computer and everything so I can't get online much. I'm moving to my mom and dad's on the 19th. 6 days after my 23rd birthday. 23 isn't looking any more promising than 22. In fact, 23 looks like the ass end of a mule, and 22 was the mule.
But obviously you can't work out a relationship with someone who is almost 22 and still seriously thinks of himself as a child. Quite literally, I told him he was acting like a child and he says "I am a child!"
I was so completely floored I didn't know what to say. That summed up everything that was wrong with our relationship, everything that was f-d up about our so-called family. In his world he is still a child.
But I've been wanting out of this relationship off and on pretty much since it started.
Thankfully neither of my kids are his. It can be a clean break.
I don't know when I will get the chance to update again before I move, but I hope all of you are well. I will have internet access at my mom and dad's, so at the bare minimum I will update when I get there if I can't get to a computer before then.
Best wishes.

 

[brusselsprout]

I am so sorry. It does get better though. I know it feels like it never will, but it does.

Hope you start feeling better and your move goes smoothly.

 

[birthmommom]

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time right now. I hope that you get well soon and you move goes well. Welcome to our single board you will find lots of support here. and let me tell you i am gonna be 23 this month and we are no longer children.

 

[mocha09]

You'll be in my thoughts. this sounds like it was a shock to you.

I hope that for what it's worth, you manage to have a happy birthday. My wish for you is that you find that this is the beginning of a new life, freedom, and happiness!

 

[ChristinaB]

and feel better real soon!

 

[TappinMamma]

Mamma

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I became single just last month and it does get a little easier day by day. Its hard being a single mom! I hope things get easier for you. You'll be in my thoughts!

 

[FreeBird]

So sorry that you are going through this. It is hard, BUT it does get better!

 

[DreamsInDigital]

It's my birthday today. I move in a week and hopefully then I'll be able to be online more often.
Just checking in and saying hi.

 

[DreamsInDigital]

Well, I moved. I'm officially single now. Also my grandmother died on Friday. It all hurts so much I've gone numb. It's been the worst week of my life in a long time. I expended all this energy to create a home and be a family and now I have only my boys to show for it. Not that they're nothing, but it's just so much wasted energy caring and worrying and constantly trying to be better. It never was and never would have been good enough for him because a family was never what he wanted in the first place. He wanted a girlfriend maybe, but he didn't want the responsibilities and burdens and sacrifices that come along with raising children. It was never about me or what I did or didn't do. It was the kids that made him feel tied down. I regret ever getting into a relationship with someone younger than me. He seemed very mature at first but when we moved in together I realized how dead wrong I was.
I turned 23 last Sunday. I don't feel any different. I suppose 23 will be much like 22. I wonder if anything will be better by the time I'm 25. Or 30. I hope like hell I'm not still putting off going to college. I sincerely plan to save $400 for tuition in July and August and take a math class in September but I just have this gut feeling that despite having way fewer bills I will have some kind of financial crisis that will eat up all my money and I'll have to wait another 3 months to start. I can't get financial aid at the college here until I pay for 12 credits out of my pocket. I was on financial aid a couple of years ago and unfortunately failed a class. Those were the terms they gave me to reinstate my financial aid. Which sucks, but I'm lucky to be able to get it back at all. No failing classes from now on.
I feel like I'm starting over, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I'll keep you posted.