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I don't really post much on mdc. I'm shy and never know what to say, but I'm joining all you single moms now, and I think I'm going to need alot more support, and I'm gonna have alot of questions. I am not sad that dp and are are ending our relationship. It's actually felt like a total farce for a very long time. I'm terrified of finding a job, and leaving my baby with somebody else while I work. I'm terrified he'll stop nursing if I'm away from him forty hours a week. I'm afraid he won't be as attached to me. Ugh, . .. . it's going to take me a long time to get used to this fact. . . that I can't be a sahm anymore. The last two days I've felt hopeful knowing it's over that I can move on with my life. . . I had a new found energy. I don't have to pretend I'm inlove anymore. . . . I can just be.... it was tiring, and I just can't stay together for my son anymore. I think I'll be a better mother out of this relationship, but . ... now I have to accept ..... that I will be present for him less. It's so hard. How do you do it? I'm sure many of you have been ther before. Sahm to wohm.... on your own. Okay.... I'm just gonna blubber on on and on and probably repeat myself alot. I felt stronger right when this decision was made. Now, I feel paralyzed
 

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I am no longer a single Mom, but I wanted to send <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and say welcome!
 

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thankyou for the welcome beansavi<br><br>
just moments later and i'm feeling all empowered and thinking of all the ways this is going to make my life so much better. i'm sure ten minutes from now i'll be petrified with fear again.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>holdenbear'smama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7917101"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thankyou for the welcome beansavi<br><br>
just moments later and i'm feeling all empowered and thinking of all the ways this is going to make my life so much better. i'm sure ten minutes from now i'll be petrified with fear again.</div>
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That sounds normal to me!<br><br>
When I was first getting separated I went thru all that and it is definitely intense...but eventually I knew I was doing the right thing because the elation and joy and relief outweighed the worry.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Happy Saturday,<br>
Bean
 

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I've always been a single mom so I don't have any advice as I did not transtition from being with someone. Personally, I love being a single mom. Hang in there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Just wanted to send you a hug.<br>
Life is going to get so much better. You sound totally normal for what you're going through. Your DS is going to do just fine because you are so strong. Things have a way of working out. It's not easy to work and nurse... but totally do-able. I promise you. And babies... they know their mommies... DS will always be attached to you. I won't lie... it's a struggle... then with wanting to be with your DS whenever your not at work, because you miss that time... it's a struggle to have any time at all to yourself. But you just figure it out as you go. And it works.<br>
And I too LOVE being a single mama. It is empowering. Check out the why I love being a single mom thread if you have a chance. You already sound strong, believe it or not. You sound like you know this is the right thing for you and DS.<br>
Best of luck to you. You will find so much great support here. This is a great forum.<br>
xoxo Robin
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It'll be okay. I go to school full time, and work part time, and my DD and I are as close as ever. I just realize to cherish EVERY moment i have with her and we make the most of it. I can't complain, I actually like being a single mommy once I got over the initial shock that were basically on our own
 

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I just wanted to offer some support. I'm leaving my relationship in May, and I'm experiencing the same feelings as you. I'll be fine for a stretch of time, then out of nowhere I think about it and suddenly, it's as if the wind's being knocked out of me. What's really trying is that it hits at any time, without any warning.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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wow.... reading the "why i love being a single mom" thread is inspiring. i should change my sad icon to a happy. no... my outlook is crazy up and down. i wish there was an icon for that. i, we, are really lucky. i'm pretty sure we're all going to be moving to denver, close to ex's parents who are really wonderfully supportive, loving, .... great people. okay, we haven't told them about this yet, but .... they will be sad about ex and i, but i don't think they'll have hard feelings, and will realize that we're doing what's best for well, all of us actually. we're going to ask them to be childcare for ds. i'm 99.9percent sure, they'll be ecstatic about it, and well, they don't know what ap is but, they totally enbody it. the only people/person i'd rather have him with throughout the day is myself. god, i'm going to miss being with him all day. ex and i have agreed upon this as it's the only scenario we can come up with that keeps both parents in ds's life and we'll have family support. some of my family will be within driving distance then too, and when i talked to my dad about it today.... he pretty much said he'd buy me a car. i was shocked. i'd been trying to figure out how exactly i'm going to afford car payments and rent and food...... my dad never does stuff like that, and i didn't ask.<br><br>
brrrrrr.... okay, it's very cold in my room right now and i have a nice warm babe asleep in my bed, so i think i'm going to go snuggle up to him and get some sleep. thanks for the support everyone. i'm very glad this place is here.
 

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LLobsterTV<br><br>
"suddenly, it's as if the wind's being knocked out of me. What's really trying is that it hits at any time, without any warning. "<br><br>
yes, i'm definitely experiencing alot of that. suddenly not being able to take a breath in.<br><br>
hugs to you, we will get through this. it's hard to be waiting too. we will be living together for a few more months. we haven't slept in the same room for over a year, but .... it's still hard sharing space, and ..... i just can't wait to get away right now.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">LLobsterTV<br><br>
"suddenly, it's as if the wind's being knocked out of me. What's really trying is that it hits at any time, without any warning. "<br><br>
yes, i'm definitely experiencing alot of that. suddenly not being able to take a breath in.<br><br>
hugs to you, we will get through this. it's hard to be waiting too. we will be living together for a few more months. we haven't slept in the same room for over a year, but .... it's still hard sharing space, and ..... i just can't wait to get away right now.</div>
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oh wow! i can totally relate. we're living together as well. the thing is, i haven't told stbx that it's coming because i can't trust his reaction. he can be really scary sometimes. are you and stbx separating amicably? i hope that eventually stbx and i can get to that point. he's just so unpredictable. i really hate acting like everything's ok in addition to feigning interest in him. i don't like him! i wish i could move away right now, too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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It will be a change and adjustment for both you and your little one, but you will get through it and both be better people because of it. It will be great if the grandparents are willing to help out. What a blessing for your little one to be around loving and supportive family.<br><br>
There are many ways to make things work. I know it all seems overwhelming right now....but you just have to take it one step at a time and you will find you're able to handle things much better and life can be much better than you are imagining it right now.<br><br>
Much love and support to you.
 

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Hugs, mama. As a single mom who works full-time, I wanted to share that my ds didn't stop nursing when I went back to work. I pumped at work and he took ebm at daycare until he was almost 1, and for the past year (he's almost 2) he's been eating solids at daycare and nursing in the evenings, 1-2/x per night, and on the weekends. And, while he's postively bonded to his daycare provider (he goes to an in-home licensed daycare with a low number of kids), he is still absolutely 100% attached to me. I haven't noticed that daycare has harmed either my son's desire to nurse, or his devoted attachment to "mommy." Your little one will be just fine. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> it will get better!
 

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You will be just fine! I AP'd my daughter as a single full-time working mom and nursed her until she was 15 months old. I invested in a efficient breast pump and pumped at work from the time she was three months old. The daycare I chose was supportive of nursing and gave her the bottles of breastmilk I prepared and sent with her. I nursed as usual during non-working hours.<br><br>
When I sent her to daycare at three months, yes, it was achingly hard - on me, not her! - but it turned out to be wonderful. She had quality care and later learning and she and I have a wonderful relationship, six years later. She is a strong self-assured little girl with a great foundation and we are very close.<br><br>
It's scary in the beginning being on your own - but find out who you can trust - good friends, family, this forum for support and advice - and lean on them.
 
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