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DS is 19 months and has never been able to figure out the art of becoming a peaceful sleeper. There has never been any rhyme or reason to his sleep patterns, or better yet, I should say there has never been a pattern or any resemblance of one. One night he wakes 8 times, the next he wakes once only. One night he screams for an hour when awake, the next he is calm and mellow and soothes back to sleep easily.

When DS was an infant, he grunted and made noises in his sleep. As a young baby, he started snoring. Around 9 months old, DS started having screaming fits at night. Some nights they would last up to 2 hours, where nothing would console him. We held him, tried to nurse, tried rescue remedy, lemon balm, other soothing herbs, chinese herbs for upset bellies (b/c his belly was often tight during these screaming fits, maybe b/c it was uncomfortable and maybe b/c he was screaming so hard), sung to him, took him to a window to look outside, music, etc. Over time, and with the help of a wonderful body worker and natural nutritionalist who suggested a chlorella detox for DS, his screaming fits have almost disappeared, but not quite. Every few weeks he has an awful night where he screams for an hour, is unconsolable, and wakes 4 or 5 other times but settles back down more easily those times.

Some nights I hear him screaming, head into his room, and the screams are interspersed with snores. This can lead to the screams taking over and he wakes up very disturbed, or the snores taking over and he never wakes up. What is going on inside the little guy's head that he is screaming so often at night?

I nightweaned him 2 1/2 months ago, which was an easy process even though I dreaded it and thought it would be awful. Until then, he woke MANY times throughout the night to nurse (most nights every 45 minutes- 1 1/2 hours.) I thought that when he nightweaned he would wake up less frequently, which worked, but he still wakes up 5 and 6 times some nights, rather than all nights. He still wakes up a lot, but never asks to nurse when i am with him. The transition was smooth!!


DH, DS and I co-slept until about 1 month before I night-weaned him. At that point we moved him to his own bed, mostly for our sanity. DS took up the majority of our king bed, kicking us and rough-housing all night some nights. He moved into his own queen bed on the floor which he manages to cover all surfaces throughout the night. I still go spend time with him in his bed each night when he wakes up.

Basically what I would like help with is any suggestions or ideas for helping him soothe himself back to sleep after he wakes up. I am not against going into his room when he wakes up for any purpose. I just wish that he could see me, settle down, and after 5 minutes, if he was still awake it would be okay if I left the room, b/c right now, this is not okay in DS's mind.

I guess time is the best suggestion- and my only rush is completely selfish, but I need my sleep. i haven't gotten a full and good night's sleep in 19 months. It caught up with me a long time ago. i sleep in DS's bed a lot, but sometimes I can't fall back asleep in there- mostly b/c DS wants to hold my hand (sweet) or kick (spirited attitude) or something else that keeps me up. If I could just get him to settle himself more on his own...

If you have any suggestions other than let him grow up more, he's still a baby, I would love to hear it. I know he is still a baby and I cherish this time, but I am not being as good of a mamma to him or his older sister, or as good of a wife, or as good at honoring myself as my own being b/c I am often so tired and irritable that it stinks for us all.
 
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