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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my almost 12 month old has started the oddest thing.

this continures from my last post abut how poorly he sleeps and asking if NCSS would help us.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=544201

he goes down great,

all night he sleeps usally 90 minutes, once in a while a litle longer, and often only 60 or even 45 minutes at a time.

i do not remember the last time i slept 2 hours in a row.

i am tired. i am wearing out.

the first few times he goes down i can get up -- eat with DH, do chorse, and just return to nurse him once an hour. after 2 nurseing back to sleeps he no longer will let me up -- waking the moment i get off the bed, no matter how sound the sleep. ( can't even get up to change clothes, go to the bathroom or any other 4 or 5 minutes projkect.

the longer the night goes, the more constant contact he needs, till by 2 am i can not get up to pee with out a meltdown -- at this point he is shoved up by me,a nd won't even let me move 6 inches away so we have room to move and breath. Dh tried to hold him, rub his back, ect, he screams and i mean screams like he is seeing me killed. this really hurts dh a lot.

----------------and i LIKE blankets, he will kick and flip to get them off, waking self in the process ... so i end up cold all night
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for teh past 2 weeks, maybe 3, his sleep is getting wrose and worse. i am getting very worn out. very tired. and short with im in the middle of the night when he won't / can't sleep. he has always woken roughly every 60 to 90 minutes -- he used to nurse and go back to sleep -- oh a 5 minute thing AND I usally went back to sleep before him.

welll it is getting so bad that i am having to go to the rocker cahir 2 and 3 times a night, for up to 30 minutes a time. and i am having the walk with him -- before month 11 i NEVER had to walk the floor at night, not after the inital bedtime walking.

also the last few nights he has been "awake" 2 hours at a strech. eyes shut, tosing, whines, nurseing, crying, fliping and flopping, but not sleeping. we rock, we walk, we sing, we nurse, and momma tries not to loose it.

i am tired.

i am tried.

--------------------

WHY is he doing thhis???????

Why is he waking so much????

Why he is haveing soooooooooooooooo much touble going back to sleep?

and why does he have to have full body conteact?

and why does he toss and turn and flip and flop and whine and act sooooooooooooo unahppy.

he BF on demand -- has evey moment of his life

he co-sleeps -- has every nihgt of his life and all naps till month 6 or so when i started laying him down alone -- but not till he is asleep.

I stay home -- he has NEVER been to a babysitter or to nusery at chuch (not with out me)

i rock, sing, walk and nurse him to sleep.

there is nothing BAD i can see in his reality.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i am tired and feeling like a BAD momma

Aimee
 

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I don't know why he is doing this but thought I would reply because I am in the same boat. My ds is 11.5 mos and behaves much the same as yours through the night - started to get really bad about 9 mos right when he started to crawl... coincidence? I keep waiting for things to improve but it doesn't. We have better nights sometimes - I consider it a better night when I'm not up for an extended time (1-2 hours) settling him back to sleep. Just like yours he goes down well and I can fairly easily get him back to sleep the first couple wakings but after midnight it deteriorates steadily. I have started going to bed right after the second waking (about 9 pm) because it's the only way I get enough sleep. Hope things get better for both of us soon!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
i too am trying to go to bed by 9 or 9:30. DH feels slighted by the time the chorse are done ther eis little time for him.

i also try hard to nap once a day -- a good habit i guess as we are TTC too -- so PG I will need that nap more than now.

tired

constant head ache

stressed

feeling angery

feeling like a bad mommy

feeling worn thin

AIMEE
 

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Mama, you're doing a great job and trying to meet your dc's needs, which sound very demanding right now.

My ds is also a frequent waker, and has been since 3months of age. It's hard and some nights are worse than others. Tonight he's fighting going to bed at all and I have no idea why. Last night he was up hourly. I'm hoping he'll grow out of these poor sleep habits but it seems like they might be around a while longer.

Hope your situation improves soon!
 

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exact same thing going on here--my 12 1/2 mo DD has not slept more than 3 hours since 2 months--and for the last 3 months it hasn't been more than 2 hours. the past two weeks? DH puts her down and she sleeps one hour, then wakes up crying/yelling--i nurse her in bed--then maybe another hour--again wakes up crying/yelling--DH or i get her, but then she won't go back to sleep and tosses and turns while nursing all night long and switching sides about every 45 min to an hour. she still nurses all day long, too--have always fed on demand--even though she eats solids now.

things i'm doing:
--trying to be really mindful of when she's sleepy--we're putting her down a bit earlier, but honestly, no matter what we do, there is absolutely no change in her nighttime sleep--although some nights are slightly better than others
--being thankful for her two naps a day (w/out me!)
--she is on a waiting list for a craniosacral therapist
--also, check this out--i just found it again and had forgotten about it:
http://www.twinteresting.com/forums/...ages-list.html
look at 52-55 weeks

its from the book "wonder weeks"
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thanks

i am just so tired.

like the tired you feel when you are first pg -- the total body tired -- and no -- AF came Friday I am not pg


last night i tired to go pee, and ds, cuddling with dh, screamed himself into a fit -- in 45 seconds, maybe 90 sedonds. dh feels horrid.

and --- dh says "well there is nothing i can do, he'll scream" when i talk about how tired i am, how worn out i am. DH kinda of the opinion it is all me cuz ds screams so much when he (DH) tried to enteract with him at night. so DH is not a lot of help.

I could so be asleep now -- but son slept in the car on the way home from curch so i am SOL

I have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to do around here, and can't get out of this chair.........................
 

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I just posted my own thread on bedtimes, and I wanted to mention that my dd does this when she goes to bed early. I don't know why for sure, but I have always interpreted this as meaning that I put her down too early. She likes to take an early evening nap and then go to bed between 10-11. She'll sleep until 10ish.

It's so rough sometimes. It's situations like yours that make people turn to CIO, and why I am actively trying to learn about infant/baby sleep at the moment. I am starting to wonder if some of the sleep trainers are right - not about CIO, but about teaching babies to sleep on their own. Like Pantley does. I've taken the approach to this point that my daughter will learn, but she's not going to necessarily learn w/o me teaching her. It's just to rough at 3am when you're dog tired and just want everyone to go back to sleep.
 

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My son, one year, just started doing this, too. We get longer stretches out of him, though, but his one or two wakings at night are not fun to deal with. Last night, it took tries by both dh and me and nearly 2.5 hours to get him to go back down. Ds just seemed to be up and wide awake...WHAT?! Why? Oh--except that if I'd lay with him and cuddle, he'd snooze, but not get into deep enough sleep to where I could slip away (he sleeps on a full sized mattress in the room across the hall from ours...part time cosleeping...mama's pregnant body craves her own bed now, though). Yeah. FRUSTRATING.

I remember reading here how developmentally, when babies realize that they are independent beings, when mobility comes, that they go through a new dimension of separation anxiety...but if that's the case, I wanna know when it will end, how long it will last.

Things we have implemented that have helped a little are playing a relaxing music CD whenever it's time for ds to fall asleep, we start it up in the middle of the night as well as going down for naps and at bedtime. Works sometimes in the middle of the night, but more often now it seems like it pisses him off and increases his anxiety. Great. Also getting proper lighting helps...we think his nightlight was casting scary shadows around the rooom, so we changed its placement and for a while that seemed to work. No longer, though. And ds is a blanket kicker offer, too...so dressing him more warmly has helped, as has upping the thermostat at night to keep him warm.

...and I know it's unpopular here, but two nights ago I got fed up and left the room to calm down so I wouldn't do something out of frustration like smack him and I he cried...I told myself I could have ten minutes, but after 8 he either gave up or self-soothed and was passed out when I went back in to peek at him. Last night when I took another break, planning only 5 minutes for breathing, he was calmed down in 4mins. Interesting. Not a pattern I'm going to continue consciously, because I hate hearing him cry and being so unhappy like that.

I wish he could tell me what's wrong, what to do for him, because I know he knows and just cannot tell me. There's gotta be something specific...ARGH!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
we do not cio

but

sometimes it seems like

--- and my sister and i talked about this and she remembers her little boys doing this ----

he has to get really PISSED and get it out -- before he can clam down to sleep.

he will fight me sooooooooo hard -- pushing me away and tryign to get down -- oly to scream with his arms up to me the second his bitt is ont he floor ----

some times i sit him down on the floor, and i walk around the room -- he will sit and just SCREAM -- a MAD scream -- for 2 or 3 minutes, maaaaaybe 4. then crawl to me and lift his arms, then when i pick him up he puts his head on my shoulder right away, a little wimpering, and he is out.

?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?

but if i keep fighting him -- he'll fight and fight and fight and fight.

this usally ONLY happens at put down time -- going to nap or going to bed -- not at a night time awaking. at night he is totally awake -- he has eyes closed whineing, fussy, nurse, push it away, nurse, flip and flop -- but not wide awake.

i do not knwo that the beahvior is, unless he just needs to "get it out of his system" (heck sometimes i am mad too, and need a good vent or cry -- some for him? to relase the bulit up stress of teething and learning to walk and so on?????) before he can settle down -- and it seems my soothing doesn't do it -- he NEEDS to blow it out.

??????????

I hate it -- but letting him scream for 3 or 4 minutes (usally more like 2) is better than fighting for 2 hours. and as much as i hate it -- it seems to be a need for him. a realease or something.

i just need the night waking to get better ------

espically if we find ourselfves expecting agian.

all the rest of the day i feel confident i can handle a pg -- but at night........
 
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